Hunted down
by Samara44
Summary: Adam Lambert had begun his second national tour few weeks ago. Everything was just perfect. When he found out that there're some people who want to hurt him, all his perfect life started to fall appart. WARNINGS: violence, non-con, rape, darkfic...
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Adam was woken up by the new Lady Gaga song coming from his phone. He picked it up from the night stand and looked at the clock; 9h25. "Shit, morning already..." he said to himself. He looked at the caller ID.

"Hey Monte, what's up man?" Adam asked with a sleepy voice.

"I should ask you the same question. We're waiting for you..." Monte said sounding a little bit annoyed.

"Waiting for me? What are you talking about?"

"Breakfast... the hotel restaurant...9h00...does it ring a bell?"

"Oh...I'm sorry...I completely forgot...I'll be there in 15 minutes"

Adam hung up and put the phone back on the night stand. He jumped off the bed and went straight to the bathroom. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. His hairs looked like a mess and he had black shadows under his eyes not only because of the eyeliner he wore the night before but because he was exhausted. "Great, I don't even have the time to fix this!" He turned on the water and splashed his face with cold water hoping to help him waking him up. He washed his face to get rid of the makeup he didn't bother to remove before going to sleep 6 hours ago. He decided to put a fine line of eyeliner and some hair gel in his hair. It was not as good as he wanted it, but it was the best he could do in that short time.

He came back near the bed. He was wearing the same t-shirt he wore last night and a pair of boxers. He took his shirt off and tried to find something to wear in his suitcase. He decided to take a pair of black tights jeans and a dark grey shirt. He put his skin snake boots on, picked up his phone and his black leather jacket, took a last look in the mirror, and with a sigh he headed out of his room.

When he arrived in the lobby, even if he tried to be discreet, he noticed stares toward him and heard his name few times. It's not like he wasn't used to it. He had begun his second national tour 3 weeks ago. He was well known in the US and in almost all the countries around the world now. But when he was looking like shit, he was always hoping to fall under the radar.

He headed to the restaurant and spotted his friends in the back. He walked to their table and sat on the chair next to Lane. Monte was in front of him. Cam, TommyJoe, Isaac , Brooke, Taylor, Sasha, Terrance and Neil were there too. They were all looking at him.

"You look like a zombie, man!" Isaac said with a smirk.

"Thanks Isaac! You're really nice..." Adam responded with an irritated look.

"Are you alright Adam?" Lane wondered putting his left arm on Adam shoulders.

"Yea...I'm fine. I'm just really exhausted. I should not have gone to that bar last night and headed straight to bed after the show instead. I just need more sleep." Adam noticed no one had food in front of them, just a cup of coffee. "Did you already eat?"

"Nope...Like I told you, we were waiting for you" Monte answered, angry. He was always like this when he was really hungry.

"I'm really sorry. I forgot to put the alarm clock on last night and I was still sleeping when you called." Adam was feeling guilty. He didn't like making people wait for him. "You shouldn't have waited for me."

Monte noticed Adam face and his expression soften. "Don't worry...now you that you're here, we can order something to eat!" Monte was smiling while he signed to the waitress to come to their table.

When they all finished their breakfast they all went back to their room to pick up their stuff and they all got in the buses. They had a 4 hours ride before the next town. So Adam decided to go to the small room he has on his bus and tried to get some sleep.

He was woken up by a hand on his shoulder shaking him gently. He opened his eyes and saw Tommy sat beside him on the bed.

"Hey sleepy head! We're here!" Tommy said in a whisper like he didn't really want to wake up Adam. "Do you feel better?"

"Yea" Adam responded. "What time is it?"

"It's 14h35. So, it's mean we have some free time before the soundcheck! "Tommy always likes having the time to hang around the town to see if there were interesting things to do.

"Great! Let see if everything is fine with the crew and the theatre first." Adam got up and headed out of the bus followed by the smaller blond man.

They went inside the building and met the rest of the crew. They had a meeting with the director of the venue. After the meeting, Tommy, Cam, Taylor and Adam decided to walk around in the area before coming back for the soundcheck. When they were outside they noticed about 50 people screaming for them. But there were security fences around the doors and the buses to keep the fans away from them.

They started to walk toward the street and some fans, when Adam stopped. Tommy, Cam and Taylor turned around to look at him. Adam was looking for something in his jacket. "Shit, I forgot my phone in the bus. I'll be back in a minute." Adam turned around and walked quickly toward the buses, parked around 200 meters from there.

He unlocked the bus door and got in. He found his phone and got out. He locked the door and almost knocked against Monte when he started to walk while looking at his phone. He heard noises the other side of the bus, a bang and a kind of whisper, but he didn't really bother him.

"Sorry Monte...Are you coming with us?" Adam said still looking at his phone.

"Nan...I'm just gonna relax a bit and help the guys with the boxes and stuff." Monte responded heading to his bus, the one behind Adam's. "Have fun!"

"Yea, you too! Later!" Adam said putting his phone in his pocket and going back where the others were waiting.

"You're ready?" asked Cam when Adam was closed to them.

"Yep! Let's go!"

After signing some autographs and taking some pictures with the fans they turned at the corner smiling and laughing.

While Adam and the gang were outside, Lane and Neil were making sure that everything will be fine with the security before, during and after the concert. There were some cameras around the building and one of the theatre employees was showing them how they worked. After few minutes, he started one of the tapes. They could see the buses at the left side of the screen and some fans at the right side. They saw Adam heading to the bus and disappearing inside. And they saw Monte coming from the other side and heading to the buses as well.

"Can we see that again?" asked Neil keeping a scrutinised look on the screen in front of him.

The technician clicked on the replay button. After 30 seconds, Adam was back on the screen. "Oh my god!" almost yelled Neil his hands on his head, when Monte showed up again on the screen. "Lane, did you see that?"

Lane was not moving or reacting, she seemed like she was in shock. After few seconds who seemed like minutes, she turned toward Neil. "Called Adam...they have to come back now!" Her voice was shaking and she had a worried look.

Adam and Taylor were outside a coffee shop waiting for Cam and Tommy to come out. Some fans had followed them and they were chatting with them in front of the shop. They heard a Lady Gaga song. After few seconds, Adam realized it was his phone and picked it up without looking who it was.

"Hello!"

"Adam, its Neil, where are you?" his voice was worried.

"I'm about 20 minutes away from the theatre, in front of a coffee shop. What is it? What's wrong?"

"I want you to go inside now and want you to stay inside. I'm coming to pick you up." Neil said with a bossy voice.

"Neil...what's going on? You sound like dad..." Adam replied.

"Adam, please, just listen to me. Go inside now! I'll explain later...What's the name of the shop?" Neil tried to sound more relax, but he failed totally. He was just so worried; he was hard for him to think straight.

"Ok, ok...It's the Hide coffee Cafe. It's a blue front shop. But I don't know the street name..." Adam answered grabbing Taylor by the arm and walking them inside the shop.

"It's fine...I'll find it. I'll be there in 10 minutes." Neil said before hanging up.

"What is it?" asked Taylor when he was inside. They both sat on a table near the counter where Cam and Tommy were waiting for the coffees.

"I don't know actually...It was Neil. He was like freaking out or something. He told me to stay inside. He's coming to pick us up." Adam replied. He was becoming more and more worried. Is something happen at the theatre? Was Monte or Lane or the other members of the crew alright?

Adam was still lost in his thoughts when Cam and Tommy joined them at the table. They were both looking at him.

"Adam? You're alright?" Tommy asked between two sips of coffee.

"Yea, I'm fine. " Adam said. "Neil just called me. He sound weird, like something bad was going on..."

"Don't worry about that...you know how he is...NegativeNeil!" said Cam with a smile.

"No, I'm sure there's something else. He asked me to stay inside. He's coming to pick us up." Adam stood up and walked toward the windows in front of the shop. Outside, there was a group of girls, probably waiting for them to come out and a grey SUV the other side of the street. He noticed shadows inside the car, but because of the tainted windows, he couldn't see how many persons were inside. He had a strange feeling, so he decided to get back to sit with the others.

After few minutes, the door of the cafe opened and Neil was there. He walked toward his brother.

"Thank god, you're ok!" Neil said giving Adam a timid hug.

"Of course I am!" said Adam looking at Neil suspiciously. "So, what's going on?"

"Come on everyone, in the van, now!" said Neil like he didn't hear Adam.

Neil face was strange and he seemed to not want to talk about it. So they decided to do what he told them. They all headed out outside and toward a white van parked in front of the coffee shop. The ride to the theatre was silent.

When they arrived, Lane, Monte and 2 policemen were waiting for them. Adam, Cam, Tommy and Taylor started to be really worried and they jumped out the van to find out what was going on. Lane went near Adam put his arm around his shoulders. "Come with me" she said. She headed inside the theatre followed by the policemen. The rest of the group stayed with Monte and started to ask questions to him.

Lane leaded Adam upstairs in the technical room. She asked him to sit down on a chair in front of multiple screens.

"You're scaring me...What's going on?" Adam asked, worried.

"There're security cameras outside and inside the building. This one is filming the area where the buses are parked." she said pointing the screen in the left side. "The images I'll show you were taking before your left with Tommy and the others. I want you to look on the right side of the screen."

She clicked on the play button and after few seconds Adam saw himself walking toward the buses. A few seconds after, just before he unlocked the door, he saw a well-built man giving a head sign to another tall man a few feet away from the first one. They both started to walk toward the Adam on the screen looking around like they don't want to be seen. Adam had disappeared inside the bus when one of the men took something out of his pocket. It was a small bottle and a white tissue. But Adam couldn't see what was writing on the bottle. The other man had now something that looks like a knife in his hand. They were now about 5 meters away from Adam bus. At this moment, Monte showed up on the left side of the screen. The 2 men probably saw him because they hurried up to hide the other side of the bus. Adam appeared and he locked the door before knocking himself against Monte. Lane stopped the tape.

Adam froze. He couldn't believe what he just saw. There're 2 guys were really closed to him, and they didn't seem to want something nice from him. When Adam didn't react, one of the policemen stood beside him.

"We zoomed in to see what was in the bottle the man had in his hand." the policeman said. "It was chloroform."Adam looked up at the policeman. "We can't be sure yet, but obviously, these men wanted to kidnapped you."

Adam was feeling a cold shiver going down his spine. Now he was more than worried, he was scared.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Adam was standing in the middle of the stage, looking at the empty venue in front of him. He was singing monotonously the lyrics of one of his songs. He was not really paying any attention to the dancers or the band members. The only persons he noticed were the two policemen talking with Lane at the entrance of the venue and few security guards standing near a door at his left side.

After Adam had been able to calm himself after the viewing of the tape, they decided to meet everyone of the crew and to talk about what happened. Neil and Lane wanted to cancel the concert, but Adam didn't want to. He didn't want the fans to pay for this. The policemen were agreeing with him, saying it was better to let the two suspicious men think they didn't notice them yet. They thought it'll be easier to catch them that way.

So they were doing the soundcheck. Adam was trying to forget about all of this and to concentrate on the song he was singing, but it didn't work to well. He was still scared. He had heard some stories before about the kidnapping of some famous persons, like some princes, or president children. He had received some treating letters in the past, but nothing serious enough to make anyone think there was a real menace. But now it was different. Knowing he was probably in a real danger was freaking him out. Why someone would want to kidnap him or hurt him in the first place? For money? In revenge? He really had no idea.

He managed to finish all the songs and headed to his dressing room. He was followed by two security guards. Two body guards had being called and they were expected in the morning the next day. Adam knew them very well, because they spent some weeks with him during the international part of his first tour. He was looking forward to see them.

When he entered the dressing room, one of the guards passed in front of him and looked around the room.

"Everything is ok...Do you want us to stay inside with you?" asked the guard in front of him.

"No, I'll be fine. I'll take a power nap and get ready for the show." Adam said while the guard left the room. "And I don't think they will dare to come here...will they!"

"Ok, like you wish. But we'll stay just outside, just in case you need us." said the guard closing the door behind him.

Adam nodded and locked the door. "Just in case" he thought. He walked toward the couch in the middle of the room and lay down. The show will start in 2 hours, so he decided he had the time to get some rest and to try to relax before the beginning of the concert.

He didn't know how he did fall asleep, but he woke up and he found himself still lying on the couch. He looked at his watch, 18h45. "I should go grab something to eat before the show" he thought. So he walked to the door and unlocked it. When he opened it, he found out that the security guards were not there. "They were probably bored to stay there or really hungry." He looked around in corridor and there was no one else. He wasn't hearing anyone either. So he decided to go on the stage to see if anyone was hungry or if they had left him something to eat.

When he arrived on the side of the stage, he was alone; no one around and no sound. "What's going on? Where's everyone?" he said to himself. At this moment he saw something moving in front of him at the back entrance of the venue. "Guys are you there?" he asked loud enough. But there was no answer. So he decided to go see by himself. He jumped off the stage and walked toward the back of the venue. It was darker than he thought; he couldn't see well enough to distinguish his surroundings. When he arrived near the door he heard a noise behind him. But, he didn't have the time to look because two strong arms grabbed him by behind. He started to struggle, to fight back, but he was not strong enough. He started to hear a bang, but he was not able to know where it was coming from. The arms around him were tightening so much it was like they were crushing his ribcage. He couldn't breathe easily anymore. He felt like he was going to pass out and there was still the banging...

"ADAM" he was hearing a voice, a distant voice. He wanted to answer but he wasn't able to catch his breath.

"ADAM" He felt the grip loosening around him and he fell to the floor.

Adam opened his eyes. He was on the dressing room floor, beside the couch.

"ADAM, open the door!" a voice yelled from outside de room.

"I'm coming!" he said after few seconds, standing up and walking to the door. He unlocked it and opened it to find himself in front of an angry Neil framed by the two security guards.

"What were you doing? It's been a least 5 minutes than a banging to the door and calling you." said Neil passing Adam and heading to the couch where he sat down.

"Sorry, I fell asleep...I didn't hear you..." Adam sat beside Neil lowering his head. He was still shocked by the dream he just had. He was not in the mood to talk so he decided to ask straight "So, what do you want?"

"The cops told us they will try to find who those guys are with files they have on people well known by the police. But they think it won't be very helpful. They are probably professionals." explained Neil with a drear voice. He didn't seem to be angry anymore, he was more like defeated.

"It's really great!" Adam sighed closing his eyes and leaning down against the couch. "It's probably mean they won't get caught!"

"No, don't think that way..." tried to reassure Neil, getting closer to his brother and slipping his left arm around Adam shoulders. "I'm sure they'll find them. We added more security staff and John and Steve will be here tomorrow. You'll be safe now, no one will hurt you, alright!" he added without more conviction than his brother.

"Yea, you're right! I should stop thinking about this and get ready for the show" Adam tried to sound calmed and relaxed but he didn't think Neil bought it. He stood up and walked toward the mirror to start working on his makeup.

"Good! I'll tell Mary to come to help you getting ready" Neil said leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Mary was the makeup artist with who he was working with since few weeks. She was really talented, but a very quiet woman. He preferred his friend Sutan, but he wasn't available for this part of the tour. "A least, I won't have to talk too much with her..."

While washing his face, he tried to think only about the concert. He knew when he will be on stage, he will forget easily everything else. But for now, he was having like a twinge in his stomach and it made him remember that he didn't eat anything since breakfast. He was not feeling hungry; he knew it was all the stress coming from the last events that was making feel like that. After few minutes, Mary and the costume assistant came in and they helped Adam get all glam up for his show.

The concert went really well. Adam was able to focus only on the good things. Excepted for the multiple security staff and the absence of the rockstar near the fences to sign autographs and meet the fans after the show, everything seemed to be normal for peoples outside Adam's crew.

They decided to keep Adam and his bus here for the night. Everyone else; the technicians, the dancers and the band, were leaving and heading to the next city. Neil, Lane and a part of the security staff stayed with Adam. They concluded it will be easier to keep him safe that way. While everyone was packing, Adam had to stay in his dressing room. He took the time to take a shower and changed in clean clothes. When all the buses and vans were gone, he was escorted to his bus where Lane and Neil were waiting for him. They sat in couches around a small table and Lane served them something to drink. They talked about the show and a little about what happened during the day.

"Sorry guys, but I'm really tired. I need to get some sleep." It was just past midnight and Adam voice sound weak. Lane and Neil knew he was really exhausted from the long day. They decided they should go to bed too.

So Adam stood up and walked to his room in the back of the bus. He closed the door behind him, took his jacket, his boots and his pants off and slipped under the sheets of his bed. He was on his back and was fixing a spot on the ceiling. He was not feeling good. He still had this kind of knots in his stomach. He knew he should have eaten something, but just the thought of food was making him feel sick. He turned on his side and closed his eyes hoping he won't have too much nightmares during the night.

When Adam woke up in the morning he heard familiar voices coming from the front of the bus. He had few bad dreams during the night and woke up few time panicked. When he stood up, he felt the pain in his stomach again. He put his pants on and went to the bathroom. When he looked himself in the mirror he found his face worst than the morning before. He still had the big shadows under his eyes and his skin was pale, like he was sick. "I really look like a zombie right now." He thought before splashing cold water in his face. After he had finish with his morning needs, he decided to put some makeup on to make him look more alive. After he was satisfied with his look, he headed for the kitchen where the voices were coming from.

Lane and Neil were there with two well-built men. The first one was a little shorter than Adam, about 50 years old, was bald with really small grey eyes. He had a big dragon tattooed on his right arm. His name was John. The second was taller than Adam, about 40 years old, whit short brown hairs and dark brown eyes. His skin was dark tanned and he was always wearing sunglasses, outside and inside. His name was Steve.

Adam went closer to give them a hug. He was really happy to see them.

"Hey Adam, don't worry, now that we're here, no one will hurt you!" assured John holding him firmly in his strong arms.

"Yea, except you!" breathed out Adam smiling. "I can barely breathe..."

John let go of Adam who was faking few chokes. Steve hugged him too, but more shyly. Steve wasn't like John and Adam, he didn't like to be touch or touching others.

"So, what's the big plan?" asked Adam while they sat around the table with a cup of coffee.

"We talked to a policeman yesterday. He told us what they know and they will keep us informed when they learn more about those guys." explained John. "We don't know what they really want from you, but we won't take any chance. We will do everything we can to keep them away from you."

"You know, I don't want to cancel any concert. So I hope it was not something you had in mind." advised Adam waiting attentively for their reactions.

Lane, Neil, John and Steve all looked at each other. "Yea, Lane told us about that." said Steve glancing at John who nodded after few seconds. "It's fine for us, we'll deal with this." he continued.

Adam knew while looking at Lane and Neil annoyed faces that they were not really agree with his decision. "They just have to deal with it too." Adam thought.

They were still talking about the concerts and the security when the door opened. It was the bus driver. He informed them that everything was done and they were ready to go. The driver sat behind the wheel and they hit the road for a 5 hours drive.

During the ride, they talked a lot about Adam security. They decided that from now, Steve or John, or both, we'll always be with him. Adam won't be allowed to go outside to meet the fans after his shows, it was too risky. He didn't like that part, he knew the fans will be really disappointed about it and will start asking questions after few days. But everyone else didn't really care about the fans reaction, they just cared about Adam safety.

When they arrived at the next town, they found out that everything was already ready for the show. They just had to do the soundcheck later in the afternoon. So, it means Adam had some free time. When he entered inside the building where the show will be done, he saw all his friends sitting on the floor in the middle of the venue. They were playing a game with cards, like they were used to do during free time. When they saw Adam coming to them, they all smiled and stood up to meet him.

"Hey Adam, I'm glad you're still alive!" joked Isaac, giving him a quick hug.

"It's not funny Isaac, don't joke about it!" complained Brooke taking Adam in his arms and giving an angry glance to Isaac. Adam tried to smile, even if he was agree with Brooke.

"How was the ride?" asked Tommy giving a gentle kiss on Adam cheek. Now they were kissing and touching each other on stage, when they were backstage, they were used to give each other more affection than to the others. Even for their friends, it was totally normal.

"Weird! 5 hours of boring road without you guys!" answered Adam kissing Tommy back quickly on the lips. "But I had a lot to talk about with John and Steve, so it wasn't that bad!"

"Yea, the two gorillas are back with us now!" teased Monte shaking hand with the two body guards. That didn't bother them; they were used to the friendly atmosphere surrounding the Glamily.

After about an hour of teasing each other, they decided to do the soundcheck early; that way, they will have more time to have dinner all together before the concert. Adam had to go to his dressing room to put some of his stuff and John was with him. Before letting Adam go inside the room, the body guard took few minutes to check if everything was ok. When he was satisfied he signed to the younger man to come in.

Adam put his bag on a chair near a small desk. He saw an envelope with his name on it. He picked it up and opened it. Inside he found a small piece of paper, took it and read the note on it. Adam knees fell weak and he had to support himself with the chair. John saw Adam's face fade and came closer to him.

"Adam, what's wrong? You're alright?" the body guard asked helping the younger man to sit down on the chair. "What is that?" he asked again noticing the white paper in Adam's hand.

Adam wasn't saying anything so John took it and read the note. A worried appeared on his face. He pressed a button on the earphone his was wearing "Steve, you have to come here, we may have a problem." He sat down beside Adam and gave him a comforting look.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. We won't allow them to touch you." even if he was worried, the older man tried to be convincing, but he didn't know if Adam bought it.

About 5 minutes later, the door opened. Steve, followed by Lane and Neil entered the room.

"What's going on?" Steve asked looking at the older guard anxious face. Without speaking, John gave him the piece of paper. He took it and he read the note aloud: "Don't worry, we'll see you soon again! And this time, we'll get you!"

Adam closed his eyes, borrowed his head and tried to breathe normally. He was beginning to feel the pain in his stomach again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"But how did they get inside in the first place?" asked Neil walking up and down the room. He was so nervous he was not able to stand still.

"They probably came in before we all arrived..." tried to explain Steve leaning against the door frame.

"No, I don't think so." interrupted Neil. "We didn't know which dressing room my brother was supposed to have before we arrived. It means they came in during the last hour."

"Yea, maybe..." said John standing up and starting pacing the room like Neil. It was helping him thinking straight. "Or maybe they just guessed!" he added in a whisper. "Well, now we can be sure they know that we found out about them!" he said louder.

"And how did they learn it?" asked Lane worried. She was sitting next to Adam on a small grey couch. "And how did they get here without being seen?"

"Someone in the crew is working with them." murmured Adam, but loud enough to be heard by all the people in the room who turned to look at him.

It was the first time he was speaking since he read the letter about 20 minutes ago. Everyone else was talking aloud, sitting, standing up, sitting again...There was too much noise and too much movement for Adam. His head had start spinning a little and his stomach was hurting more than before. He just wanted to lie down, to close his eyes and to forget about all of this. But there was a part of his brain that just wanted to analyse the situation. He was thinking someone he knows was probably helping these guys and this thought was not helping to comfort him.

"No! It's impossible!" shouted out Neil standing still. "No one we know would want to hurt you! We know everyone of this crew...How can you say that!" he was suddenly very angry. The thought that someone he trusted, someone maybe he hired himself wanted to hurt his brother was making him see red.

Adam was surprised by the sharp reaction of Neil. He suddenly wished he hadn't said anything. It was already hard for him to keep himself together, to stay in control of his emotions, to keep from everyone how he was really feeling about all of this. He didn't want to have to face the anger of someone around him or to have to comfort another person than himself. "Sorry, I should not have said that..." he added shyly closing his eyes and leaning back on the couch. Lane came closer to him and rested her hand on his knee in a supporting gesture.

"From now on, nothing can make us think for sure that someone around us is working for them." assured John stopping his pacing. "Our priority is Adam's security and not shouting at each other, alright!" he added with an authoritarian voice. "I have to call the police inspector who's working on the case. I'll be back in a minute. Steve, you stay with him..." he said getting out of the room.

Everyone was silent now. Adam was glad about it. Lane was still beside him and even if his eyes were shut, he knew she was looking at him, studying his face, his reactions, to try to know how he was really feeling. She was like a second mother to him and he was not surprised to see her so worried.

"I think we should do that soundcheck." she proposed accepting she won't get what she wanted from Adam right now. "I guess there's no cancellation tonight..." she added glancing at the younger man.

"No cancellation..." Adam said opening his eyes and looking at Lane. "That's right, we should go back to work."

When they all understood there was nothing more to say, they headed out of the room and walked to the stage. The band and the dancers were there, sitting on the floor and chatting. Apparently John had told them what happened, because they were looking at Adam with concern. He didn't want them to be worried for him, he didn't like having that kind of attention from his friends.

"I think we have a soundcheck to do guys!" he remarked hoping he'll be able to change their mind and his own in the same time.

After looking at each other, Brooke, Taylor, Terrance, Sasha, Isaac, Monte, Cam and Tommy stood up to get ready for the first song. Tommy went closer to Adam.

"You're alright?" the blond man asked looking directly at Adam eyes.

"Yea, I'm fine!" he replied with a fake smile.

"You're really sure?" Tommy asked again in a whisper near Adam ear putting a comforting hand on the taller man shoulder.

As Adam's best friend, Tommy knew him very well and, at this moment, the dark haired man knew he wasn't fooling him. So he looked at him and nodded. Tommy understood it was not the good time to have this conversation. Adam was thankful for that. Few minutes later everyone was ready to start; after Adam signed to Isaac, the notes of the first song began to fill up the empty venue.

"You should try to eat something. We don't want you to pass out on stage tonight!" recommended Brooke reaching for Adam's plate to fill it with pasta.

"But I'm not really hungry, I ate something earlier." Adam lied looking at his plate back in front of him. He glanced toward Brooke, and by the look she gave him, he resigned himself. "She's probably right" he thought. So he took his fork without much conviction. After about 30 minutes, everyone was done, and Adam had eaten only half of his small portion of pastas. "At least, it's better than nothing."

They didn't talk about the letter. They wanted to keep a good mood for the show. So, they all went to their dressing room to get ready for the concert.

Just like the night before, the concert was really good. Even Adam seemed to be in a good mood. The fact that it was an amazing crowd helped probably a lot. The fans were screaming and singing all songs with their idol.

Even if they were supposed to sleep in the bus, they decided it was better to sleep at the hotel. Before dinner, Lane had made some calls to find rooms for the night. She was really good with that kind of thing, so, even if it was a last minute decision, she had found a nice vacant hotel.

Adam wanted to be alone in his room. But John insisted to share it with him. "Just in case." he had explained. As a compromise, they took a suite, with an adjacent room. So Adam could sleep in a separated room and John could occupy the room with the main door.

When Adam entered the room, he hurried to take a long and hot shower. He was glad to have a hotel night, because the shower in their buses was really small and not very comfortable. And tonight, he really needed his comfort to relax as much as possible. So, after about 30 minutes, he got out of the shower, put a pair of boxers and a t-shirt on, and went to bed.

After he laid down, all the memories of what happened during the last 48 hours came back to him. It was like the high of the show had blocked them out. But now that he was alone and had nothing else to think about, all his worried thoughts came back to him. He was too exhausted to try to fight them back. So he was viewing the tape again, the small bottle of chloroform, the knife, the letter, the 2 big men...He rolled on his side, curled up into a ball and closed his eyes. Shaking lightly he fell asleep after few minutes.

He was standing on the stage, singing one of his songs. He was looking in the crowd. Everyone was singing along with him, it was just perfect. Near the middle of the song, he saw two big men at the back of the crowd. They were looking at him with an evil grin. They started to walk toward him, but they were blocked by all the screaming fans in the crowd. He noticed they had in one of their hand a metallic object. But Adam was to far a way to see what it was.

When one of the guys slid his hand in front of a woman's face and blood started to spurt around them, he was horrified. The guy was holding a knife and was cutting the woman's throat keeping his eyes on Adam. He tried to scream, to warn them, but it was like he had lost his voice. He looked at his friends on stage, but they were gone, he was alone. He looked back in front of him and saw his fans getting killed one after the other, getting their throat cut up by the men and he couldn't do anything. They were dropping to the floor, in a pool of blood while the two men were getting closer to him. "We told you we will get you!" one of them hissed when they were close enough. Adam tried to run but he was petrified, he couldn't move. They were now just beside the stage and he could see that all his fans were dead. There was blood everywhere even on the stage. The men were really close to him now, pointing their bloody knifes toward him. He finally managed to move one of his legs, but he slipped and fell on the floor in the blood. Now he knew he had no chance to get away...

He woke up, panicked. He was sweating, breathing heavily and he was shaking. He took a few seconds to remember where he really was. He looked around to be sure there was no blood anywhere. After he had convinced himself that it was just a nightmare, he glanced at the clock; 3h48. "Shit, how can I be able to go back to sleep now..." he thought.

So he decided to keep himself busy. He stood up and walked to his suitcase to pick up his laptop. Usually, he was reading all his emails and was going on Twitter and Facebook every day, but during the last two days he forgot about his "virtual" life. After he had turned on his laptop, he looked at his emails. There were more then 60. He started to answer some of them. When he was done he decided to take a look on his Twitter and Facebook pages. He was looking at his feeds, at his messages, at his friends' pages...His eyelids were beginning to feel heavy, so he decided to lie down to try to sleep a little more. It was almost 6:00 am when he fell asleep again.

Adam was woken up by a knock on his door. He didn't want to open his eyes, didn't want to move. He was so exhausted.

"Adam, you're awake?" asked John from the other room. "Adam!"

"Yea, yea...I'm awake..." he sighed after a moment. He looked at the clock. "Damn John, it's not even 8h00 yet!" he said sounding annoyed. He rolled on his side and covered his head with the blanket.

"Adam..." the older man started with caution. "We have to leave soon. It was supposed to be a bus night remember? We are about 7 hours away from the next city." he continued, his ear on the door expecting some movements. "Adam, please! Don't make me open that door!" he added with his authoritarian voice. Just after he finished his sentence, he was regretting his tone. He knew Adam was having a bad time and didn't want to push him too much. "Look...please Adam...Just get ready, ok..." he demanded with a more gentle voice.

"Yea...I'll be ready in 20 minutes." Adam announced getting out of the bed. He knew John wasn't really mad at him. He was sometimes very bossy, but it was kind of part of his job, so he didn't really mind.

Like he said, about 20 minutes later he was ready. Adam was now in the elevator with John. He was leaning against the wall, his eyes closed, still sleepy. He was wearing a dark blue shirt with a pair of grey jeans. He was still looking pale and tired, so he had put some makeup on to hide it as much as possible. He was not as good as Sutan would have been, but he was satisfied by the result. The body guard knew, by looking at Adam's face that he was not in the mood to talk, so he stayed silent.

When the elevator stopped and the doors opened, their friends were already in the lobby checking out. Apart from them, there was no one else in the lobby. John took the room's key from Adam's hand and walked to the desk, leaving the singer with Tommy and Monte.

"How are you holding up?" asked Monte concerned.

"I'm doing fine..." answered Adam looking at his boots. He didn't want them to see that he was not that fine. "I didn't get enough sleep last night; I'll catch up in the bus."

"Do you mind if I take your bus?" asked Tommy. He was hoping to be able to talk with Adam, to know how he was really doing. But he knew it was impossible to do it with everyone around, he knew Adam was keeping is feelings to himself.

"Yea...if you want to..." Adam said glancing quickly to the blond man and smiling lightly.

When they were all ready, they got to their buses. Lane had bought some stuff to eat for breakfast, so they would not have to stop until lunch.

As soon as Adam got in the bus, he headed directly to his room in the back, followed by Tommy. He took off his boots and laid on the bed on his back. Tommy sat beside him, his back against the wall. Adam was glad his friend was there, with him. It had been few days since they had spent time tog, alone.

"So, you didn't get much sleep in the last days..." Tommy noted broking the silence after a few minutes.

"Nope...I have some troubles sleeping actually..." Adam said looking at the ceiling. Having his best friend with him was comforting him, but he was still not in the mood to talk. He just had one thing in his mind, sleeping.

"And, how do you feel about it?" Tommy asked wanting the dark hair man to open up.

"I'm sorry Tommy, but I really need to sleep if I want to be able to do the show tonight." Adam started to explain closing his eyes. "I'm barely able to keep my eyes opened."

"It's fine, don't worry." said Tommy giving a gentle kiss on Adam's right cheek. "I am letting you sleep..." he added sliding beside the bed to stand up.

"No, wait!" Adam objected grabbing Tommy's arm. "Stay with me...please."

The smaller man was surprised by his friend's reaction, but looking at Adam's pleading eyes, he couldn't resist.

"Fine, I'll stay." he accepted, smiling. He guessed Adam probably needed someone with him to feel safer. So he leaned back against the wall. Adam turned on his right side, facing Tommy.

"Thank you Glitterbaby" he whispered closing his eyes and smiling.

Tommy smiled back. He put the earphones of his iPod on, and watched as Adam's breathings deepened. After about 10 minutes, the singer was deeply asleep.

Around 13:30, Adam was woken up by Tommy. They had stopped to a small restaurant to grab a bite. But he still had this pain in his stomach, so he was not hungry and he would rather have stayed inside the bus and tried to sleep more. After he had argued about 5 minutes with the others, they finally accepted to let him sleep. John and Steve had looked around to see if everything was clear and they went inside the restaurant to catch up with the others.

"I'm just grabbing something to eat and I'll be back very soon" said John before he locked the bus door.

Adam was glad he could sleep. He was glad he didn't have to force feed himself too. Before going back to sleep, he had to go to the bathroom. While he was washing his hands he heard a sound coming from the small kitchen. "John is already back" he thought.

He headed out of the small bathroom and walked to the kitchen.

"Hello Adam" he heard from behind him. But he didn't have the time to turn around, because one arm was grabbing him from behind and one hand was on his mouth, blocking the air away from his mouth and his nose. He fought back, struggled and tried to scream but it didn't work.

"Shhhhh...Calm down alright" whispered another voice. Adam saw the other man getting closer to him."Stop fighting and just breathe" the man added grinning and looking into Adam's panicked eyes. "In a minute everything will be over."

At this moment, Adam noticed the tissue on his nose and mouth and understood what they were doing. He tried to struggle even more. He noticed the small table just in front of him and putting his left foot on it to get more leverage, he pushed back on the man behind him. The man lost his balance and with Adam's strength, he hit his back against the window behind him, breaking it up in pieces.

"Fuck!" yelled the man behind him apparently in pain but still holding him firmly. "You'll pay for this bitch!" he hissed in Adam's ear.

Adam didn't have any more strength left. He was beginning to feel really weak, so he stopped fighting. His vision was beginning to fade and his right hand was hurting him. His knees were not supporting him anymore, so he let his body leaning against the man behind him. Through the fog in front of his eyes, he discerned a familiar shadow in front of him. He heard a gunshot, he felt himself dropped on the floor and everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Slowly, Adam was regaining consciousness. It was like he was underwater. He was seeing a light, and he was trying to reach it. When he got closer, he found out that it was the surface of the water. He didn't really need to breathe, but he was feeling like he had to reach the surface, to reach the light. When he reached it, he opened his eyes. In the beginning, his vision was fuzzy. After a few minutes the lights were too bright. His eyes were burning and it was giving him a headache. So he closed his eyes and tried to remember where he was and what happened. He remembered the bus, his bed, Tommy, John...and then he remembered the men. "It was just another bad dream" he thought feeling he was lying on a bed, probably his bed. And then, his hand started to hurt. It was hurting really badly. So he opened his eyes again and tried the focus. He tried to reach his painful hand, but he felt another hand holding him still. The panic was beginning to rise inside of him. He tried to struggle but another hand was on him to keep him from moving.

"Adam...shhhhh...it's alright..." a familiar voice said to him. "You are at the hospital; you are safe now."

He felt a hand in his hair, stroking him gently. So he took control of himself. When the panic was fading, he looked around him. He saw Lane at his left side, looking at him with compassion. Neil was standing behind her, looking so worried. He noticed he was in a hospital room. The walls were pale green and there were a few windows, all hidden by curtains. When Adam felt the pain again in his right hand, he turned his head to see a nurse. He was wrapping a bandage around his hand and there was a lot of blood soaked clothes on a metal table.

"Wha...what happened?" Adam managed to ask, his throat sore, his head spinning. He was feeling really dizzy.

"You smashed your hand in the bus window which broke into pieces. You cut it badly. They had to take out all the broken pieces of glass and stitchyour hand up." Lane explained, still stroking Adam's hair. "And you passed out..."

"How do you feel, Mr. Lambert?" the nurse said, finishing the wrapping. "Any pain or dizziness?"

"Heuu...well...My hand hurts... I mean... a lot." Adam started, trying to figure everything out. It was still hard for him to think straight. "And I'm feeling dizzy, like I will throw up or something...and my head..."

"Yea, it's normal, it's the chloroform's effects" the man assured, taking Adam's wrist to check his pulse. "You'll feel better in a few hours. I'll give you pain killer pills for your hand. I'll be back in a minute."

"What happened exactly?" Adam asked after the man had left the room. He tried to sit up but he wasn't strong enough to do it.

"Let me help you" Lane said, helping him sit up.

"Well, the men got in your bus...I guess you know better than us about that part..."Neil started, sitting on the bed, at Adam's feet. "When John got out of the restaurant, he heard like a fight coming from the bus and the sound of breaking glass. So he opened the bus door, and saw you and them..." Neil stopped for a moment, glancing at Lane. "They shoy him..."

"What? " Adam began, panicked. "Where is he? Is he ok? ...Please tell me he's ok..."

"Calm down, Adam..." Lane said, holding him gently by the shoulders. She was now sitting beside him. "Don't worry, he'll be fine. He was shot in the shoulder, nothing too serious."

Adam let himself fall back on the pillow, closing his eyes. "Oh my god, he had been shot because of me...he almost died because of me..." he thought. He was starting to lose it, to break apart. He was feeling the tears fill his eyes. He hid his face with his non-injured hand. He didn't want Lane or Neil to see him like that. Adam was always the one who was supporting everyone else. He was the stronger one, the one you reach for when you have problems. He couldn't show them how weak he was right now.

"What happened with the guys? Are they in jail?" Adam finally managed to ask when he knew his voice was steady enough to talk.

"Well...heu..." began Neil. He didn't know what to say. He was glancing at Lane who was looking at him too. "Well...they managed to get away..." he said after few seconds. He looked so upset...Well, he was upset, he was angry, and he was scared for his brother.

"What!...no..." Adam complained, fighting the tears again. He was so scared to come face to face with those men again. He thought for a few minutes they'd been caught, but they were still out there, somewhere, waiting for him. "How?" he managed to finally ask.

"We don't know exactly...they drove away in a grey SUV," explained Neil, standing up and starting to pace the room. "I'm really sorry, Adam...We don't know where they are or who they are...The FBI is on it now...because the events happened in two different states and you almost got kidnapped, they decided to help..."

Adam nodded; he didn't want to talk, he didn't trust his voice anymore. And, now that he knew the FBI was thinking it was important enough to take care of the case, it didn't help; it was worst.

"Oh god, Adam...you're back with us!" Tommy exclaimed, getting inside the room and walking to Adam to give him a big hug. "I'm sorry, guys, but we have a problem..." he continued letting go of Adam. "I don't know how they found out, but they're already talking about what happened today on the web."

"Oh my god, like we don't have enough problems already!" said Neil, putting his head in his hands.

"Neil, you should call your parents, so they don't learn it on Twitter..." suggested Lane placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

When Neil left the room to make the call, Adam was still silent. Tommy was beside him, looking at him and trying to find out what his friend's thoughts were. The nurse came back and gave Adam pain killers to take now, and a bottle with some more to use later. He also gave him sleeping pills, because he thought he'd maybe need it after what had happened to him today. About thirty minutes later, Adam was allowed to leave the hospital.

Adam was in the car with Neil, Lane, Tommy and Steve was driving. They were heading to the hotel. The ride was quiet. Adam's head was leaning against the window, eyes closed, thinking. After a few minutes he remembered about the show. They still had the soundcheck to do.

"Maybe we should go to the theater first to do the soundcheck. After, we'll go to the hotel if we have time before the show" proposed Adam, looking at the clock on his cellphone.

"Forget about the soundcheck Adam, it's not going to happen." Neil said, waiting apprehensively for his brother's reaction. "We cancelled the show."

"What? You don't have the right to do that!" Adam snapped at him, sitting straight and trying to have someone else's support. When he found none, he started to become very angry. "I'm the boss here, so I'm deciding what I do with my show."

"Adam, did you look at yourself?" Lane cut him off, turning back to look at him. She was sitting in the front seat. "You almost got kidnapped today, remember? You're hurt, you're exhausted and you said you're not feeling good. We decided it was better for you to have your show cancelled."

"WE...who's WE?" Adam asked angrily. He was so upset; he couldn't believe someone had decided this without telling him.

"Me, Lane, Brooke, Monte, Tommy..." Neil began, looking at his brother who was sitting beside him. "Everyone was agreeing about this; you need time off, Adam!"

"You don't know anything about what I need..." Adam said, glancing at everyone with anger. "And you, I can't believe you agree too..." he added when he looked at Tommy. He was so furious and disappointed. He had to do the show, it was helping him getting through this. When he was on stage, he was able to forget about everything.

"I'm sorry man, but I think you need to rest." Tommy explained calmly.

Adam closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the window. He didn't want to talk to them anymore, he was too upset.

When they arrived at the hotel, Lane went directly to the desk to get their room keys. After she gave it to Adam, he just walked to the elevator without talking, followed by Steve. He had only one thing in his mind; get to his room and lock himself in. He was sharing a suite with Steve, like he did with John the night before.

When Adam got to his room, he went in the shower first, leaving all his bags on his bed. He had to keep his injured and bandaged hand dry. So he decided it'd be easier to take a warm bath. After a few minutes in the tub, he was becoming more relaxed, so he closed his eyes. It didn't take a lot of time before he fell asleep. And after a few minutes, the bad dreams came back again.

Everywhere he was going, the men who attacked him were there. Looking at him, following him and threatening him. They were getting closer and closer. They shot John; he was lying in a pool of blood, dead. They killed Steve too. One of the guys grabbed Adam and pushed him on the floor. There were broken pieces of glass everywhere on the floor, so he cut himself up when he landed on the ground. He was bleeding badly. While he was starting to feel really weak, he saw Tommy a few meters away. He was calling him. But the bad guys saw him too, so they shot him.

Adam woke up, sitting up in the bath. He was shaking even if the water was still warm. After he managed to calm himself, he got out and walked to his bed. He took a clean shirt and a pair of boxers in his suitcase and pushed all his bags on the floor. After he got dressed, he sat on the floor, leaning his back on the bed. He bent his knees against his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and started to cry.

He didn't know how long he was sitting on the floor when he heard a knock on his door.

"Adam...Tommy is here," Steve announced from the other room. "He wants to see you. Do you want to let him in?"

"Yes...it's fine...I'm coming," Adam said, drying up his face with his hands. He stood up and walked to the door to unlock it.

"Hey man," Tommy said when he opened the door. He was smiling. He was glad Adam decided to let him in even if he was upset. "I thought you wouldn't want to see me. But I had to give it a try..."

"Yea...I'm sorry about that, I should not have yelled at you." Adam apologised, sitting down on his bed.

"I was wondering if you were hungry. Maybe we could call room service and order something to eat..." Tommy proposed, sitting on the bed, facing Adam.

"Yea, I think I'd like that." the taller man said. "I'm not really hungry, but I think I should eat something."

After they ordered and ate (well Tommy ate, but Adam just nibbled at his sandwich) they sat on the bed and were looking on the web on Adam's laptop; what people were saying about the event that happened earlier today. It was less serious than they thought. No one really knew what happened. They were just saying something about an accident in Adam's bus, and that the singer and one of his friends were injured. They were also talking about the fact that it was probably serious enough because the show tonight was cancelled. When Adam and Tommy got on Twitter, they found out that the fans were freaking out. So Adam decided to tweet few words to let them know he was alright. When they were done with Twitter, they decided to watch a movie.

"Well, it's almost midnight," Tommy noticed, looking at the clock. "We should go to bed and try to rest while we can!" he added, standing up and walking toward the door.

"Good idea!" Adam said, following behind Tommy to lock the door. "I should try to sleep, so I'll feel better tomorrow," he lied faking a smile. Actually, Adam didn't want to sleep. He was too scared to have nightmares again. It was enough to be attacked in real life, he didn't want to experience it again while he was sleeping.

While Tommy was going to leave, he turned around to say goodnight to Adam. But he saw something in his friend's face; something wrong, like worried, or fear maybe. So he changed his mind. He came back and walked toward Adam.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Tommy asked facing Adam and stroking one of his arms.

Adam looked at him, confused. He didn't want him to know that he would not sleep because he was too afraid. But he didn't want to be alone either.

"Yea, I would like that..." he answered shyly after few seconds.

"Cool! I'll go grab my stuff in my room, and I'll be back in a few minutes" Tommy said, heading out of the room.

While Tommy was gone, Adam brushed his teeth, laid down on the bed and pulled the sheets over him. When Tommy came back, Adam was on his back, his hands behind his head, pensive. The blond man took his clothes off, keeping only his boxers and his t-shirt on. He laid down on the bed beside Adam.

"You're alright?" Tommy asked, looking at this friend. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Adam lied, glancing at the ceiling. "I think we should get some sleep..." he added, turning on his side, his back to Tommy.

"Yea, we should do that," Tommy said, worried. He knew something was going on with his friend. He was shutting everyone out. "When he's ready, he'll talk to me." he thought. "Good night Adam." he whispered, giving a light kiss on Adam's head.

"Good night Tommy."

After about an hour later, Tommy was woken up by the sound of muffled sobs. He rolled on his left side. Adam still had his back to him. He was shaking lightly and sobbing. So, Tommy got slowly closer and wrapped his arm around Adam's waist.

Surprised and drying his tears up with his hand, the dark haired man turned his head to look into Tommy face. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you up..." Adam murmured, still sobbing a little.

"It's alright, Adam...come here...turn around..." the blond man whispered, helping his friend to roll to face him.

When Adam was facing him, Tommy wrapped his arms around him to get him closer. In the beginning, Adam didn't responded, he didn't move. But after a minute, he got as close as possible to Tommy, wrapping his arms around him. He put his head between Tommy's and the pillow, and broke down. He was crying and shaking, holding onto his friend like it was the only thing keeping him alive. To see Adam like that broke Tommy's heart.

"Shhhh...it's gonna be alright, baby boy...everything's gonna be alrigh,t" he assured, him stroking his back.

"I'm just so fucking scared..." Adam cried out between two sobs. It wasn't only the kidnappers who were scaring him but also the fact that he wasn't able to hold himself together anymore.

"I know...I know...and it's ok to be afraid..." Tommy said, still hugging him firmly.

After about 10 minutes, Adam managed to calm himself and stop crying. He didn't know if it was because he didn't need to cry anymore or just because he didn't have any tears left. When he moved to face Tommy, he noticed the tear-soaked pillow under his friend's head.

"I'm sorry..." he said, not really knowing if he was sorry for the wet pillow or because he just fell apart in front of him.

"Don't worry, there's nothing to be sorry for..." assured Tommy, looking into Adam's face. "He looks so exhausted" he thought, drying the tears left on his friend's face with his finger. "You should get some sleep, you know..."

"No, I can't..."Adam answered, shaking his head. "If I'm sleeping, I'll have nightmares, and believe me they are really, really bad nightmares..."

"But Adam, you need to sleep. You can't stay awake forever..." began Tommy, stroking Adam's hair. "Take the sleeping pills, you won't have dreams with them."

"No, I can't take them either..."Adam said, letting go of Tommy and rolling on his back. "If I take them, I won't hear them, and I won't wake up if they come here. They shot John...if they come here, maybe they'll shout you too...and I don't want..."

"Adam, stop it!" Tommy ordered sitting up, grabbing and shaking Adam's shoulders lightly. "They won't come here and no one will be shot...It's safe here...Steve is in the other room and there're security guards all over the corridor of our floor. You have to rest, Adam...so take the pills."

"Fine...I'll take them..." Adam said after a minute turning, on his side again to face Tommy. "But...if I take the pills...will you...I mean...will you let me sleep in your arms?" he asked shyly in a murmur.

"Of course I will," Tommy assured stroking his friend's shoulder.

"I mean...hold me in your arms all night? I don't want to wake up alone, I want to wake up in your arms..." Adam murmured.

"Adam, look at me..." Tommy whispered, raising his friend's chin to make him look at him. "I'm not going anywhere..."

"Ok..."Adam nodded, smiling weakly. He rolled on his left side and took a bottle of pills on the night stand. He took two of them, swallowed them without water and turned on his back. After a few silent minutes, Adam laughed lightly.

"Why are you laughing?" Tommy asked, intrigued. He was happy to see his friend feeling better.

"For nothing..." Adam said, smiling.

"Tell me...what is it?"

"Well...I was just thinking how badly I always wanted you in my bed..."Adam grinned, looking at the ceiling. "But in my thoughts, you are naked of course..."

"Adam! " Tommy exclaimed punching him in the ribs. "You really thought about me like that...jeez..."

"Oh yea...but that's not the best part of it!" Adam teased.

"What do you mean? What is the best part?" Tommy asked, curious.

"You don't want to know..." he said with a big smile.

"Yea, I want to know...it's about me, so tell me..."

"Well...In my thoughts, you are laying down on the bed, naked..." Adam began with a seducing voice, rolling on his side to face Tommy. "You are under me, moaning...begging me to kiss you...begging me to touch...begging me to fuck you...Your lips are slightly parted, just enough to slide my tongue in your mouth, to taste you..."

"Ok, ok...I think I got the picture!" Tommy said, turning on his back and blushing. It was not because he was uncomfortable with Adam's words. On the contrary, his words were making him sweat a little and were getting his boxers a little tight.

"Well...you asked for it!" Adam laughed, seeing his friend's reaction. He was starting to feel really tired; the pills were beginning to affect him. "But don't worry, sex is really not in my projects tonight..." he added with a weaker voice.

"I think the pills are working," Tommy said after he noticed his friend's state. "Come here," he added, wrapping his arms around Adam and getting him closer.

Adam put his head on Tommy's shoulder and wrapped his arm around his waist. Tommy raised Adam's chin and kissed him, his lips slightly parted. Their tongues touched lightly before they broke the kiss.

"Good night, Adam" Tommy whispered in his friend's ear.

"Good night" Adam murmured, closing his eyes. "I love you Tommy..." he added after a few seconds, just before he fell asleep.

"I love you, too."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When Adam woke up, he didn't open his eyes yet. He was feeling relax and rested; a first after the last few days. He felt a movement next to him and noticed arms wrapped around him. He could feel heat irradiated from the body next to him. He opened his eyes and found Tommy to his side, his face very close to his. He was still asleep. Adam couldn't keep his eyes off him, "so beautiful, so pretty," he thought.

Even if they were close friends, Adam had always had a crush on Tommy. He had a thing for him the first time he saw him. He knew from the beginning that Tommy was straight, but hopefully open-minded. So Adam had the chance to make-out with him, but only on stage, for the fans service. They kissed a few times during a party or when they were drunk, but nothing more than that. Adam always had high self control regarding of his sexual desires, but right now, with Tommy in his arms, so close to him; it was hard for him to keep that control. He was starting to feel aroused by the blond man's warm body lying next to him. But he didn't want to move; it was feeling so good, he didn't want to end the moment.

After a few minutes, Tommy opened his eyes, seeing two blue pools looking straight into his eyes. He smiled when he noticed the more rested features on Adam's face. "He looks better than yesterday," he thought.

"Good morning" Tommy said, unwrapping his arms from his friend and rolling on his back.

"Good morning" Adam was a bit disappointed by the shifting and was already missing Tommy's closeness.

"So, did you sleep well?" Tommy asked, stretching. "Any bad dreams?"

"Oh yea...it's been days since I slept so well," Adam began, turning on his back. "I had a few dreams in the morning, but no nightmare. So the pills worked very well."

"You look more rested. I'm glad you slept well," Tommy said, sitting up and glancing at the clock. "It's almost 10h00; maybe we should get ready if we want to have breakfast with the others."

"Yea, you're right" Adam nodded, sitting up beside the bed. "Tommy...thank you...for last night... I mean..." he added shyly, standing up and heading to the bathroom.

"You're welcome!" Tommy smiled, dressing. "And if you need me again for anything, just ask!"

"Thank you," Adam said from the bathroom.

When they were ready, they got out of the room to meet Steve. When they opened the door, they found him sitting on the couch and talking on the phone. They heard Adam's name, the words bus, security, meeting; they knew it was a conversation about the kidnappers. When Adam acknowledged the subject of the call, he felt the knots in his stomach again and his knees felt weak; he had to sit down on the bed.

"Adam, you alright?" Tommy asked, worried and sitting down beside him.

"Yea...I'm fine..." Adam assured, trying to convince himself more than his friend. It was like he had forgotten what happened when he woke up earlier; and now, he was remembering everything. The fear and the worries were back again.

"Good morning guys!" Steve said, hanging up the phone and getting closer to them. "Everything is alright?" he asked when he noticed Adam's pale face.

"Don't worry, I'm fine..." Adam assured again, sitting up and walking toward the door. "I think we should go," he added, getting out of the suite. Tommy and Steve nodded and followed him. On their way to the elevator, they passed two security guards who saluted them.

"So the phone, what was that about?" Adam asked, getting inside the elevator and leaning against the wall.

"Oh, yea...After breakfast, we have a meeting with the FBI agents," Steve said, pushing on the first floor button. "They need to talk to you about what happened yesterday and about what will happen in the next few days..."

Adam nodded. "They probably want to cancel the next shows," he though, disappointed and worried. They had a day off before the next concert, but he didn't think the kidnappers would be caught until then, and he didn't have any intention to cancel more shows. He knew it would be difficult to argue with the FBI agents, but he didn't want to disappoint his fans, he couldn't do that to them.

The elevator stopped and got Adam out of his thoughts. The lobby was crowded, but Adam noticed three security guards and two men dressed in black suites who nodded at him. "FBI agents" he thought. They walked to the hotel's restaurant. The restaurant was also very crowded, there were no table left. When they entered the clients stopped talking and were glancing over at them. When they found their friends, they joined them at the table and sat down. There were some whisperings around them. They could hear conversations about the "bus accident" and about Adam looking fine.

"How do you feel this morning?" Lane asked to Adam. "I hope you forgave us for the concert last night and I hope you understand why we did it..." she added when she observed that Adam seemed to be in a good mood.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that," he explained, glancing at everyone at the table; the four dancers, his band members, his brother and Steve. "I was really angry because no one asked what I was thinking about it, but you were right to cancel the show..."

"Well, it seems like someone had a good night of sleep," Monte began when he noticed that Adam was feeling better. "I confess that I thought you would have a good night, but without sleeping..." he teased, looking at Adam and Tommy, and laughing.

"Really funny, Monte!" Adam said, faking an offended face. "You know me better than that, don't you?"

"Yes Adam, exactly...I do know you!" Monte grinned before everyone at the table started to laugh. Adam blushed and Tommy smiled at him.

After they ate, Adam and Steve came back to their suite with Lane and Neil. They had the meeting with the FBI agents. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. When Steve opened the door, the two black suited guys from the lobby entered the room. The taller one was about fifty years old and had grey hair. He presented himself as agent Miller. The other man was probably a bit younger. He had short brown hair and a beard. He introduced himself as agent Peterson.

"First of all, I'm really sorry Adam; the situation couldn't be really easy for you since the last few days," agent Miller began after everyone sat on a chair or on the couch. "We looked attentively at the affair, we checked in our old files and cases to search for similarities...But I will be honest with you, for now, we don't know anything about the men who tried to kidnap you. We compared photos with their faces from the tape; we searched for identification with the SUV's license plate; but we found nothing."

Adam was feeling like he was sinking in the couch and the pain in his stomach was getting worst. He remembered what Neil told him at the hospital, but he had thought that maybe, during the last twelve hours, they had finally found something about the kidnappers. But now that he acknowledged that they still didn't have anything, he felt like he was trapped. The panic was starting to rise inside of him, so he closed his eyes and breathed deeply to control himself.

"So, what are we going to do?" Adam asked when he thought he was more in control. "I can't stop my tour, I can't stop doing interviews...So what are your plans?"

"Don't worry, you won't have to cancel your concerts," agent Miller explained. "It will be easier to catch them if you are not hiding; if they decided to try something again, we'll be there to protect you."

Adam was relieved; he didn't have to cancel the tour. Lane and Neil seemed to be against the idea, again; they looked worried and were glancing at each other all the time.

The meeting lasted about one more hour. They talked about security, who will be with Adam and when, what Adam could and couldn't do. Of course, he was still not allowed to meet the fans, he couldn't be left alone anymore and he would always have to ask permission before going somewhere. When they were all agreed with the details, the two agents left the suite. Adam wanted to keep himself busy, so he asked the band and the dancers if they wanted to chill out in his room. They were all glad about the idea, so they spent almost the whole afternoon playing with cards, watching movies, listening to some music. For dinner, they ordered pizzas and beers. Everyone was in a good mood; even Adam ate and drank a few beers.

Around midnight, they decided to head to their own room. When Tommy was going to leave, Adam grabbed him gently by the arm and lead him away from the others.

"Tommy...do you mind staying again tonight?" Adam asked, blushing a little and looking at his feet. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep if I'm all by myself..."

"Yea, of course I can stay," Tommy nodded, smiling. "I'll go take a shower, grab my stuff and I'll be back," he added, getting out of the suite.

When everyone left, Adam said good night to Steve, and walked into his room. He took a bath, because he still had to keep his injured hand dry. He brushed his teeth and put his boxers and a t-shirt on. He grabbed a glass of water, put it down on the night stand and laid down under the covers. After a few minutes, Tommy entered the room and locked the door behind him "just in case" Adam had told him. Tommy laid down beside Adam and they started to watch a movie.

After about an hour, they decided to settle down to sleep because the movie was horrible. They were both lying on their side, facing each other. They were looking at each other and they were really close. Adam could feel the heat coming from Tommy and remembered how he felt in the morning having the smaller man so close to him. He didn't know if it was because of the beers he took earlier, or because he was tired, but he couldn't control himself anymore. So he got closer to Tommy and kissed him. In the beginning, the blond man didn't move, but after a few seconds, he parted his lips and kissed Adam back, sliding his tongue in his mouth. Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy's body to get him closer, without breaking the kiss. It was full of passion, sex and lust. When they decided they needed to breathe, they stopped.

"I want you so badly," Adam whispered, giving butterfly kisses on Tommy's neck.

The blond man was moaning lightly. It was just too much for Adam who moved to be on the top. He kissed Tommy again rubbing his hard cock on the other man's. He slid his hand under Tommy's shirt and pinched his nipples gently. The blond man was stroking Adam's back, pulling on him to have as much contact as possible with his body.

"Hummm...Adam," Tommy moaned against the taller man's mouth.

Suddenly, Adam opened his eyes and looked into Tommy's. Realizing with whom he was, who he was kissing and touching, Adam panicked.

"Oh fuck...I'm sorry, Tommy..." Adam apologized letting go of the blond man and lying on his back. "I'm so sorry...I just lost it, I couldn't control myself...Oh fuck...I'm so sorry..." He couldn't believe he did that; having Tommy so close to him, he just couldn't resist anymore. He had lost his self control and was feeling really guilty about it.

"Adam, it's alright," Tommy explained, disappointed. "I want it too...Adam, you did nothing wrong..."

"I shouldn't have done that," the dark haired man said, rolling on his side, his back to his friend. "We should get some sleep," he added, taking two sleeping pills from the bottle on the night stand and swallowing them with a sip of water. He was feeling so angry with himself. Tommy was agreeing to be there for him, so he could get some sleep, and he took advantage of the situation. "I won't be able to forgive myself" he thought, closing his eyes.

Tommy was looking at Adam's back. He didn't know what to say; he didn't understand what had just happened. He didn't understand why his friend was acting like that. "It was obvious I wanted it, too..." he thought, turning on his other side and closing his eyes.

Adam was kissing Tommy; they were half-naked, on the couch, in the main room of the suite. Adam could hear voices close to them. So he broke the kiss and looked around. There was no one in the room. When he came back to kiss Tommy again, he had disappeared; he was alone on the couch, and full dressed. There was no voice anymore, but he could hear laughs coming from everywhere. His head started to spin so he stood up to get out of the room. But when he started to walk, he saw the walls around him getting closer and the door had disappeared. He was trapped; he couldn't get out of there. He heard a weak voice. It was Tommy, he was calling his name.

"Adam, Adam...wake up"

The singer opened his eyes and saw Tommy's worried face. He was laying on his back, his friend next to him. He looked at the clock; 5h48.

"You're ok?" Tommy asked, stroking Adam's arm gently.

"Yea...it was just a bad dream," the taller man sighed, running his non injured hand through his hair.

"Come here," Tommy said, wrapping his arms around him.

"No...I don't think it's a good idea...with what happened earlier..." Adam declined pushing the blond man away.

"Adam...You did nothing wrong, I wanted it, too..." Tommy explained, impatient. "Now come here, we still have few hours to sleep," he added, pulling Adam against him.

The singer sighed and let his friend getting him closer. Tommy kissed him on the cheek and cuddled against him, keeping his arms around him. Adam was able to relax; so after a few minutes, they were both asleep.

They were both woken up by Steve around 9h00. They had to leave 30 minutes later to get on the bus. They were 4 hours away from the next city where they had to perform that day. So they both took a quick shower and packed their bags and suitcases.

"No sign of the bad guys yesterday..." Tommy began when they were in the elevator, with Steve and agent Miller. "Maybe you hurt the guy really badly the other day, so they're gonna leave you alone now..." he added smiling at Adam.

"Yea...maybe..." Adam nodded. He was hoping it was true, but he didn't think it was possible; the kidnappers won't give up so easily.

When the doors opened, they met the others in the lobby. When Adam went to the desk for the check out, the employee gave him an envelope, saying that someone deposed it for him earlier. When he was going to open it, agent Miller, who was beside him, took the envelope from his hand. He opened it and looked inside.

"Well, I guess we have our answer," he sighed, showing no emotion. He gave the envelope to Steve who was standing next to him. He looked at the piece of paper inside and glanced at Adam, worried.

"What is it?" Adam asked, trying to reach the envelope.

"I think it's better if we keep this for ourselves," agent Miller hissed, taking the envelope.

"It's about me, so I want to know what it is," Adam said, angry. "I don't want you to keep information from me."

Miller glanced at Steve who nodded. "Fine." The FBI agent gave up, handing the envelope to Adam.

Adam took it and looked inside. "What the fuck!" he frowned, leaning against the desk to support himself.

"What is that?" Tommy asked, taking the piece of paper. When he looked at it, he froze. It was a picture of Adam lying on a bed, gagged and bound. Just under the photo, a few words were written in red "I hope you didn't think we changed our mind about you...And by the way, you look great all nice and tied up!"

When Tommy glanced toward the singer, he noticed that he was really pale. So he got closer and took him in his arms. "Everything is gonna be alright Adam, I'm sure everything is gonna be alright," he whispered to his friend's ear. Even if he tried to be convincing, he didn't believe a word he said; Adam didn't either.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"But what do they want from him exactly?" Neil asked, pacing the room. "They failed to kidnap him twice. They can't be crazy enough to try a third time now that they probably know about the FBI."

"We don't know yet," agent Peterson began. "But we are sure about one thing, they don't want to kill you or you would be already dead."

"Thank you, I'm feeling better now..." Adam said, faking a smile. He walked toward Tommy and sat down next to him.

They were in a conference room; Adam, Lane, Neil, Steve, Tommy and the two FBI agents. They needed to talk in private before getting in the bus. Of course, they talked about the picture. Even if it was a fake one, made by a computer program, the meaning of it was still really serious. It meant one of them came in the hotel this morning, so they were somewhere around; maybe closer than they thought. The good thing was that the hotel had security cameras in the lobby. So maybe they would be able to find who brought the envelope. Agent Miller called a crew to work on the tape to see if they could find something that may help.

"If the only thing they want is Adam, why are they using their time and energy to send him letter and picture?" Tommy asked.

"They're probably trying to scare him or something..." Steve answered, looking at his watch. "We should get going now, if we don't want to be late."

"Well, I can say that they are doing a very good job," Adam murmured to Tommy while they were heading out of the room.

When they looked outside, in front of the hotel, they noticed a small crowd, probably waiting for Adam. Just before getting out of the hotel, the two agents and Steve positioned themselves around the singer. When they were outside they found out that there were not only fans in the crowd, but also a bunch of paparazzy. They were taking pictures, yelling at Adam to look at them and asking questions like "What happened with your bus?", "Did you get hurt in the accident?", "Are you gonna cancel other concerts?" Adam wasn't in the mood to play their game, so he kept his head down and walked straight toward the bus which was parked not too far away from the hotel's entrance. Some fans or paps were trying to reach the singer, to grab him. In the commotion, someone pushed him and he almost fell on the ground. But Steve was next to him, so he grabbed him by the arm and pulled him against him. "Stay close to me" the body guard whispered to Adam's ear. When they were finally beside the bus, Steve opened the door and pushed Adam inside. A few moments later, everyone was inside, too and, ready to go.

Adam sat on the couch; he was shaking and he could feel his heart beating really fast. He leaned against the couch, closed his eyes and started to breathe deeply. He needed to calm himself. He was safe now, well in a certain kind of way. After a few minutes, he noticed the new window, someone had fixed it. He looked around and couldn't keep himself from remembering what happened in this room two days ago. "Fuck! I need to stop thinking about this; I need to focus on the show," he thought.

About four hours later, they arrived at the theater. The other buses and vans were already there. When they got inside the building, they found the dancers and the rest of the band sitting around a table while the technical crew was preparing the stage. There were security guards everywhere around. They had searched the whole theater to be sure everything was safe.

About an hour later, they began the soundcheck. Adam had a hard time focusing on his songs and on the sounds effects. He had to repeat a few songs twice or three times. Everyone was looking at him, worried.

"Adam, are you sure you can do it?" Monte asked after the singer forgot a part of a song's lyrics. "We can still cancel if you don't feel it."

"No, I'm fine" Adam said, angry. He was not angry with Monte, but with himself. He was not able to keep himself together and he knew his friends noticed it. "I'm just a little tired. When we're done, I'll take a power nap and everything will be fine."

When they finished the soundcheck it was still early, so they decided to go to the hotel to check in to relax a bit and to have dinner. At the hotel, they found out that there was no vacant suite, so Adam had to share the room with Steve. When they got to their room, Adam took off his bandage; he didn't need one anymore. And the best thing, he could take a shower. After he had dried himself and got dressed, he laid down on the bed for a nap. About 30 minutes later, Steve woke him up, it was dinner time. They went to a restaurant next to the hotel.

When they were all done, they separated into small white vans to go back to the theater. Monte, Tommy, Lane, Neil, Taylor and Brooke got in the same vehicle with Adam. When they arrived at the theater, they saw a big crowd outside. At first, they thought it was the fans that were waiting for the show. But when they got closer, they noticed a few signs; it was a protest. They could read "God hates gays", "Fags will burn in hell", "Fags are not welcome here" on the different signs.

"No way...are you fucking kidding me!" Monte protested, irritated. "It couldn't be a worst time to do that!"

They were beginning to get used to this; it happened a few times during the last 2 years. But today, they couldn't afford one more problem. Adam had enough pressure and stress already. The singer sat between Steve and Monte. He wasn't moving, wasn't saying anything. He had his head in his hands, his eyes closed. He was trying to shut everything out. Everyone in the van was looking at him, worried. Steve called the security director to ask him for some help getting Adam and his friends inside the building.

After about ten minutes, the security guards were outside and made a passage from the theater to the van. Agents Miller and Peterson were just beside the van, getting ready to escort Adam inside. When they thought it was safe, they opened the vehicle door and signalled to the passengers to get out. Adam was the last one out. Steve was next to him and put an arm around his shoulders to keep him close to him. Miller was in front of them, Peterson, behind. Adam was keeping his head down while he walked toward the theater. He could hear people calling him "fag", "faggot" or "freak"; some of them were saying that he should die because he was a sinner. The demonstrators were pushing the security guards to get closer. Adam was scared, shaking lightly.

When they finally made it inside the building, Adam had an urgent need to be alone. So he walked straight to his dressing room followed by Steve. The door of the dressing room was framed by two security guards; they opened the door for him. Adam told Steve that he needed to be alone for a while. The body guard nodded, telling him he'll wait just outside in case he needed anything.

After he had closed the door behind him, he walked to the couch, took his jacket off and sat down. Usually he was able to ignore the haters, but right now, their words were sinking inside of him, stabbing him in the heart. Too much had happened in the last few days, he couldn't take anymore. He wasn't able to focus on the positive parts of his life; his career, his friends, his family, his dreams. It was feeling like he had lost everything he cared about and he didn't have the strength to fight for it anymore. He felt the tears beginning to fill his eyes and run down his cheeks, so he leaned in the couch and closed his eyes.

About ten minutes later, he heard the door opened, but he didn't bother to move or even look at who it was. He felt the couch shifting next to him and an arm sliding around his shoulders.

"Come here, honey," a familiar voice murmured to his ears, pulling Adam closer.

"Sutan..." Adam whispered, wrapping his arms around the makeup artist and leaning his head on his friend shoulder.

The singer was still crying and when he pushed himself away, he noticed Sutan's shirt soaked with a mix of tears and eyeliner.

"I'm sorry about your shirt," Adam apologized drying his face with his hands.

"Don't worry, babe," Sutan said, smiling and kissing the singer on the cheek, glancing at his face. "Well, if you want to be ready for your show, I should start now if I want to be able to fix that pretty face!" he added, standing up and leading Adam by the hand toward the desk with the big mirror.

"What are you doing here?" Adam asked, cleaning his face to remove his old makeup. "I thought you had stuff to do in LA."

"Yea, I did. But when I heard about what happened, I thought you would need a whole bunch of friends to help you get through this; so I took a plane and I'm here!" Sutan explained, settling everything to start to work.

Adam was happy to see him. When Sutan was around, the entire atmosphere was sparkling and radiating. Everything was always so simple with him. He got in only ten minutes ago and Adam was already feeling more relaxed.

"So...how do you feel?" Sutan asked with caution when he was working on Adam's eyes makeup.

Adam looked at him through the mirror. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about his feelings and stuff. When he saw Sutan looking at him, smiling, he decided to give a try.

"Well, not really well actually..." the singer sighed, playing with a bottle of nail polish. "It's like I'm only surrounded by hate right now..."

"Surrounded by hate?" the makeup artist questioned, stopping what he was doing.

"Yea...the haters outside, the guys who try to kidnap me, the paps always stalk around me..."

"What about your friends; your family?" Sutan asked, giving a suspicious look to Adam.

Adam knew his friend was right. But how to explain the fact that right now the sun in his life was hidden by black clouds, and he wasn't able to push them away?

"I think you should keep your mind busy and think about the love brought by your friends, your family and your fans!" Sutan proposed when Adam didn't answer. "Ok, now stop moving, I need to glam you up!" he added with a smile, raising the singer's chin.

Adam was leaning against the wall backstage. He was waiting for his cue from his band. He was really nervous, as if it was his first show. He was holding the microphone in his hand and he could see it shaking lightly. He was trying to stay calm, to tell himself that everything is going to be alright, but it wasn't sinking inside of him, it was like he didn't really believe it.

When he heard the signal, he walked on stage and took his position in the middle of it. He looked at the crowd and even if he couldn't see well because of the lights, he could hear them screaming his name. Usually, at this moment, all the stress was fading. But tonight, it was different. He had the pain in his stomach and he was still shaking. "I can do this, I know I can do this" he said to himself. When he heard the right note, he started to sing the first song.

The first part of show went not as bad as Adam thought. But he was really not in the mood. The band and the dancers knew something wrong was going on, but the fans didn't seem to notice, so it was ok. When he began the second part, he was already very tired. It was becoming hard for him to focus on the songs. A few minutes later, while he was singing, he saw beside the stage a well-built man grinning at him. Adam was sure he was the guy he pushed in the bus window. When he thought about it, he froze, panic rising inside of him. He still had the microphone in his hand, but he had stopped singing. He looked at the crowd and looked back at the man; he was gone. He tried to sing again, but he didn't remember the lyrics. The band stopped playing and the fans were silent trying to understand what was going on.

"Adam, you alright?" Monte whispered to his ear, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Adam looked at him, completely lost. He was looking at the guitarist with pleading eyes. He didn't know what to do anymore. So he raised the microphone near his mouth, he said "I'm sorry..." and walked backstage quickly.

When he was backstage, he was joined by Lane and Neil who seemed more panicked than him. Everyone around was looking at him, not knowing what to do exactly.

"Adam, what's going on?" Neil asked, worried.

"Adam, if you're not feeling well, it's ok, just tell us," Lane said, stroking his back slowly.

Steve and the two FBI agents were with them now. They were looking at him, studying him, trying to figure what was going on.

"What happened?" Miller asked.

"It just...there was...I think I saw..." Adam wasn't able to think straight. His head was spinning, there were too many people around him and he was suffocating. "Forget about it...I need fresh air..." he added, heading to the nearest exit door.

"I am going with him," agent Peterson announced, following Adam outside.

When he pushed the door and found himself outside, the singer started to breathe deeply. He didn't know yet if he'd be able to go back on stage. He just needed a break to put himself together. He was so lost in his thought that he didn't noticed Peterson standing behind him.

"We should go back inside, Adam, it's not safe," the agent warned, looking around him. They were behind the theater, in a small alley.

"Just give me a minute, alright..." Adam demanded, looking at Peterson who nodded.

About a minute later, the agent eyes went wide. "Adam, go inside, NOW!" he ordered, still looking in front of him and reaching for something in his jacket.

When the singer turned around to see what was going on, he saw a man with a gun about 15 meters away from them, walking toward them. Adam started to walk toward the door they'd just came out, but it was closed. He tried to open it, but it was locked. He was pulling on the handle as strong as possible, but it didn't open.

"Adam, run!" Peterson yelled when he noticed the locked door. "I need backup in the alley behind the theater," he demanded, pressing a button on his earphone.

While he was running, Adam tried all the doors he found to try to get inside. But he wasn't finding any. So he kept running. When he turned the corner of the building, he found himself face to face with the other kidnapper. He tried to avoid him, but the other man was faster. He grabbed Adam by an arm and pushed him hard on the ground. The singer fell on his stomach, his forehead hitting the ground and hurting his palms and knees. The man put a knee between his shoulder blades and pinned his arms on the ground. Adam tried to fight back, but he wasn't able to move an inch. He started to scream for help, but the man let go of one of his arm and shut him up with his free hand.

"You better shut up or I would have to hurt you!" the man warned, crushing Adam even more with his knee.

While the singer was still struggling, he heard a gunshot. About a minute later, the other guy joined them.

"Finally," he sighed, looking at Adam on the ground and grinning. He grabbed something in his jacket and kneeled beside Adam and the other man.

Adam couldn't see what he was holding, but he felt a hand on his neck, keeping him still. About a minute later, he felt a sharp pain in his neck, followed by the feeling of a cold liquid under his skin. In a second, he felt weak and sleepy; a few seconds later he passed out.

"Well, that was faster this time!" the man holding the singer down exclaimed, laughing. "Stay with him, I'll go get the car," he added, standing up and taking his keys in his pocket.

Less than 5 minutes later his was back with the grey SUV. They took the unconscious Adam and put him on the back seat. When Peterson's backup arrived, the SUV was already gone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"What happened?" Lane asked to agent Miller when he came back from outside. "Why did Peterson need backup?"

"Agent Peterson is dead..." the FBI agent announced like he was discussing weather.

"What! What happened? Where's my brother?" Neil asked, panicked. He was looking at Miller with pleading eyes, hoping he won't tell them the worst.

"Peterson had been shot in the head...and your brother is missing..." Miller said, not daring to look at Neil.

Neil's knees felt limp so he sat down on the floor, his head in his hands. Lane was leaning against the wall and she was crying. A few minutes later, Monte, Tommy, Cam and Isaac joined them; not knowing what was going on.

"Are we finishing the show? The fans are still waiting..." Tommy asked, glancing around to find Adam. When Tommy looked toward Neil and Lane, he noticed the tears and the worry in their faces. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Adam...Adam is gone..." Lane cried out between two sobs.

"What do you mean? Where did he go?" Monte asked, getting closer to Lane and taking her in his arms.

"They took him, Monte...oh my god, they took him..." she said, gripping tight on the guitarist's shirt.

"So, what are we doing now?" Cam asked while everyone was comforting each other. "We need to tell something to the audience..."

"Yea...in about 5 minutes there will be cops everywhere around," Steve announced coming from outside. "The fans will freak out!"

"Let me handle this," agent Miller began, taking his phone out of his jacket. "You stay all here, I'll be back in a few minutes," he added starting to walk toward the door to get outside. "But one of you need to go out there and announce that the show is finished," he demanded before disappearing outside.

"I'll do it..." Monte said, letting go of Lane and heading on stage.

The guitarist didn't explain anything, he simply announce that because of technical reasons, the show was finished. The crowd seemed to be very disappointed and worried. Miller gave orders to the security team to get people of the audience out without incident. But when the fans were getting out of the theater, they noticed a few police cars. There was also one FBI black van. The fans were worried, wondering what was happening and why the show had ended earlier than usual. They remembered the last time they saw the singer, he was acting weird; they were hoping that all that circus outside had nothing to do with him.

* * *

Adam was regaining consciousness slowly; he was feeling the movement of the vehicle, like he was sleeping in his bed in the bus. When he tried to move his hands, he found out they were trapped behind his back. Panicking, he opened his eyes. Even if his vision was fuzzy, he noticed quickly that he was not in the bus, but on a backseat of a vehicle. He tried to speak but he found out that he had tape on his mouth muffling his voice. He tried to sit up but he was too weak and was feeling too dizzy to do it. When he started to struggle, he saw the man on the passenger seat looking at him and grinning.

"It seems like our little friend in the back is awake..." the man said to the driver. "You didn't give him enough; he was supposed to be out for a few hours."

"Sorry, I never used that drug before; I didn't want to kill him," the driver said still keeping his eyes on the road.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna give him another shot," the other man announced taking his seatbelt off and getting in the back with the singer. "A bigger one this time..." he added taking a bottle and a syringe out of a bag.

Adam's eyes went wide opened. He tried to move to get away, but he couldn't go anywhere. He was screaming and begging to let him go, but all the sounds were muffled by the duct tape. He tried to kick with his legs, but the man sat on them, preventing any more movement. The man inserted the needle into the bottle, filled the syringe and put the bottle back in the bag.

"Stop fighting, rockstar, you're not gonna win that one," he said, laughing and holding onto Adam's neck with one of his hands. "By the way, I still want you to pay for what you did to my back," he added squeezing harder and making the singer whines from the sudden pain.

When the syringe was getting closer to his neck, Adam struggled but it hurt more than it helped. Defeated, he decided to stay still. He felt the pain when the needle entered his skin and the cold liquid injected into his neck. It didn't take more than 30 seconds before he felt the effects of the drug. His eyelids were heavy and he couldn't feel his body anymore. He passed out a few seconds later.

* * *

"I just called my parents..." Neil said getting inside the room where everyone of the crew was waiting. "My mom is freaking out...She'll be here tonight with my father," he added sitting on a chair.

It was about 5h00 in the morning and they were back at the hotel. No one was able to get any sleep, so they stayed up all night wondering if Adam was still alive, where he was and what those people wanted from him. The FBI crew got bigger. They occupied a conference room on the first floor. They worked on the lobby's tape. They couldn't see the face of the person who brought the envelope the day before. They tried to find out clues that may help them track down the kidnappers.

The agents explained to Adam's friends that even if they still don't know why he was kidnapped, they were sure he was still alive. They couldn't figure why someone would use all this energy to kidnap a person to just kill him or her. And because Adam was famous worldwide, he was worth more alive than dead.

"I can't believe this is really happening..." Tommy began, lying on his back on one of the beds and fixing his eyes the ceiling. "He was so fucking scared in the last days...And I kept assuring him that he was safe...Shit, I'm a big liar..." he added, cuddling against Cam.

"You're not a liar Tommy Joe, don't worry about that..." Neil said with an irritated voice. "I guess the security staff should feel bad about it..." he added, giving an angry look at Steve. "Steve, as Adam's body guard, what do you think about it?"

"What the fuck, Neil? You think it's my fault?" the body guard demanded getting up of the couch and standing up in front of Adam's brother. "We did everything we could do...the guys who took him knew what they were doing...they planed everything..."

"It seems like it wasn't enough," Neil snapped angrily.

"I'm sorry to disturb your important discussion, but we found something on the lobby's tape..." agent Miller said walking inside the room. "Does someone know this woman?" he added when he noticed everyone was listening.

He showed them a picture. The woman's face was not clear because it was the zoom in of a reflection in a mirror. Isaac was closer to the agent, so he took the picture and looked closer.

"Yea, I know her," he said handing the picture back to Miller. "It's Mary, the makeup artist."

"Why are you looking for her?" Lane asked, taking the picture from Miller's hand.

"She's the one who brought the envelope," the agent explained. "We think she's working with the guys who kidnapped Adam. Maybe she knows where he is. We need to talk to her. Does someone know where she is?"

"The last time I saw her was last morning," Monte said. "She didn't show up for the show last night, probably because Sutan was there to do the job."

After everyone had said everything they knew about Mary, agent Miller left the room. They were in shock; they couldn't believe she really helped them to get to Adam. She was a calm and quiet woman; always so gentle and always careful to do a good job. And Adam trusted her; how could she do that to him? How and why did she decide to do that? They had no idea.

* * *

Adam was slowly regaining consciousness again. He was feeling like he was lying on ice; he was freezing. When he opened his eyes he found himself lying on his stomach on a grey and cold cement floor. He looked around him; he was in small empty room without windows, lighted only by a faded light bulb hanging from the ceiling. When he tried to sit up, his head started spinning and he could feel his blood pulsing in his skull.

After he had enough strength to sit up, he started to feel dizzy. He tried to relax by breathing deeply, but it didn't work; he was really not feeling well. Now it was getting worst; he was feeling nauseous. He couldn't hold it anymore, so he bent over and vomited on the floor.

When he had nothing left in his stomach, he sat back and took a look at himself. He was barefoot, his black leather pants were torn at one his knees; there was dried blood on the fabric and a small wound on his skin. His shirt was also torn at the bottom. He didn't have any pieces of jewelry left except his black earspools and his earrings. He had another wound in his right palm and dried blood around his stitches. His wrists were sticky and the skin was red and sore; signs that he was tied up with duct tape for a long time.

He glanced at the door in front of him. Even if he knew it was probably locked, he wanted to take a look. So he stood up painfully with the help of the wall and walked slowly to the door. There was no knob and nothing else that he could use as a handle. He pushed on the door with all his strength left but nothing happened.

"HELP...SOMEBODY HELP ME!" he screamed as loud as possible. He put his ear on the door but he couldn't hear anything. Defeated he walked to the opposite corner and sat down on the cold floor, leaning his back against the wall.

He was feeling really weak and he was freezing. All his body was shaking and he wasn't able to stop it. He noticed that he really needed to go to the bathroom and he was wondering how long he would have to stay there before someone would come to see him. He didn't want to see the men who kidnapped him again but he couldn't image releasing his bladder in the room. He was so despondent, exhausted and scared. He laid down on the floor and curled up in a ball. When he closed his eyes, he could feel tears running down his cheeks.

He didn't know how long he slept, but he was woken up by a sound coming from the other side of the door. So he sat up quickly and rubbed his eyes. He could feel that he was still dizzy and his head was still pulsing. When the door opened, he saw the man who gave him the shot in the SUV. Panicked, he retreated in the corner, leaning his back against the walls. The man looked at him and grinned.

Behind the man, another one entered the room. Adam never saw him before. He was short, very slim and was wearing glasses. He was about 60 years old, with thin grey hair and a grey beard. He passed the well-built man and walked closer to Adam. He was not smiling like the other one; he was rather serious. Getting closer, he kept his eyes on the singer, studying him. Adam noticed that he had a bottle in his hand.

"Don't worry boy, I'm not going to hurt you," the older man said, kneeling in front of the singer. "Take that, it will help you feel better," he added, handing two white pills and the bottle of water.

Adam wasn't sure what to do. He didn't trust him but if he wanted to kill him, he would be already dead. So he took the pills in the man hand and swallowed them with a sip of water.

"Good boy," the man said, standing up and walking back to the door.

"Sir..." Adam said with caution not sure how the man would react. "Can I use the bathroom?" he asked, standing up. He blushed and felt so humiliated to have to almost beg to use the bathroom.

The man turned and looked at him. He was glancing at Adam's body. The thing Adam saw in his eyes scared him; it was a predatory look, leering at every inch of his body. Usually he was not ashamed or shy when someone was looking at him, but right now he just wanted to hide.

"Sure," the man said, smiling. "Come with me boy," he added, beckoning to Adam.

The singer hesitated a few seconds and finally walked toward the door. When he passed in front of the big man, he was shoved hard against the wall, a hand on his throat strangling him.

"You better play nice, rockstar," the man whispered to him. "Or I'll would have to break your beautiful neck!" he warned, squeezing harder.

"Patrick, let him go," the older man ordered, placing a hand on the big man's arm. "If he does something stupid, I'll take care of him myself."

Patrick let go of Adam but he gave him a warning look. The singer tried to breathe deeply, massaging his sore throat. When the big man moved away, Adam followed the older man to a bathroom.

"There...do what you have to do..." the man said leaning against the door's frame.

Adam was standing in front of the toilette but he wasn't moving. He couldn't do it with that guy looking at him.

"Nope, forget about it boy, I'm not going anywhere," the man began, like he had read Adam's thoughts. "If you need to piss, do it now or I'll bring you to your room and I'll have to punish you because you're wasting my time," he added, grinning.

Adam sighed and moved in a way that his back was facing the older man. When he started to empty his bladder, the man was laughing, sending shudders down Adam's spine. When he was done, he turned toward the sink to wash his hands and saw his refection in the small and dirty mirror. He looked like hell; his hair was a mess, his makeup had run down his cheeks, probably with the tears, he had dried blood just above his left eyebrow and his eyes were red.

Still under the glance of the man, he sprinkled some water on his face, trying to clean as much as possible. He got rid of the blood and a bit of the makeup.

"Don't worry boy, you're still pretty," the man said, laughing and grabbing Adam hard by the arm and leading him back in the small room. "I'm Victor by the way, but for you it's 'Sir'. I'm the owner of this place, so that means I'm the boss here," he added when they were back in the room. "You better behave and do what we are telling you to do or we'll have to punish you. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yea...I guess so..." Adam answered, weakly. He was caught unguarded by a strong slap on his face. He looked with terror at the older man's face without understanding what it was for.

"Each time you're talking to me, you have to say 'Sir' and you have to speak loud enough so I don't have to guess what you're saying," Victor warned angrily, pointing toward Adam with one hand.

"Sir...why am I here? What do you want from me?" Adam asked loud enough this time. He was slapped again but this time harder, so he almost lost his balance. The older was definitely stronger than he looked like.

"You speak only if someone asks you something," Victor hissed, irritated.

Because of the pain and the humiliation, tears were running down Adam's cheeks. The older man noticed them and gave the singer an evil grin. He walked closer to Adam who moved quickly back, panicked. When the young man was leaning against the wall, Victor got even closer, looking at the singer with satisfaction, with needs, with lust. Even if the older man wasn't touching him, Adam felt like he was pinned to the wall; he couldn't move away. He was so scared, he was shaking lightly.

"Mmmmm...better..." Victor whispered in Adam's ear, lightly brushing his body against the younger man's.

When Adam thought the man was going to touch him or something, Victor turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him without saying a word. In shock, Adam sat slowly on the floor, his knees to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his knees, leaned his head on them and cried.

* * *

Lane, Neil, Leila and Eber were having dinner in Lane's room. Adam's parents arrived about an hour ago. Neil had taken them to the FBI's conference room so they could understand better what happened and what was happening now. Even if they were worried and tired, Lane had convinced them to have dinner with her.

"God, I just hope he's ok..." Leila murmured taking the comforting hand of her younger son.

"Don't worry mom, I'm sure they are going to find him soon," Neil assured, smiling weakly at his mother. "You know that Adam can't go unnoticed..."

Leila smiled back lightly, cleaning the tears in her eyes with the napkins. Even if she wanted to think positively, she wasn't able to ignore the worst. It was the same thing for everyone in Adam's family and friends.

After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door. Lane stood up and opened up; it was agent Miller.

"We found the makeup artist this afternoon. I just came back from her interrogation," he said walking toward the table. "We know where they detained him," he added, sitting on a chair.

"Oh my god, where is he? Is he alright?" Leila asked, standing up and getting closer to the agent.

"We don't know how he is right now," Miller began. "They took him to a slave farm, about 8 hours from here," he added, looking worried.

"What is a slave farm?" Lane asked, noticing the agent's worried face.

"It's a place where usually young, kidnapped men or women are held to become slave for rich and powerful people," he explained.

"But slavery is illegal in America," Leila said, not really understanding what the FBI agent was saying.

"Yea, I know...but it didn't bother them to do that..." Miller explained. "Usually, the men who are taken are trained to become sex slaves and sold to powerful men coming from all around the world."

"Oh no..." Leila sighed, sitting on the couch. "They can't do that...no...They can't do that to Adam."

"He's famous worldwide, no one would want to buy him; it's too risky," Neil said, shaking his head and pacing the room.

"That's the problem..." the FBI agent began. "Maybe it's a special demand from someone in another country. Some rich men may be willing to pay a lot to have him for themselves. So now, we have to move quickly; because if someone buys him, he may disappear forever..." he added walking toward the door. "I have to go; I'll call you when we learn more."

With that sentence, agent Miller left the room and closed the door behind him. Everyone in the room was in shock. They couldn't believe what the agent had just said.

* * *

Please leave a comment...


	8. Chapter 8

_**WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**_

**Chapter 8**

Adam was still on the floor, his arms around his knees. He wasn't crying anymore; he didn't have any more tears left. He was shivering, his hands were cold and his toes started to turn blue. He was hungry and thirsty. A least, Victor was right, the pills did work and he was feeling better now. Thinking about the pills, he remembered that the old man had left the bottle of water in the room. He stood up and took it from the floor a few meters away. There was only half of the bottle left but it was better than nothing.

Pacing the room to try to warm himself up a bit, he started to think about his situation. He didn't know for how along he was in this place and he didn't know where he was exactly. And he still didn't have any clue about why he was there and why he had been kidnapped. He was angry with himself, "I should have fought back; why did I let that man hit me?" he thought. He remembered how he felt when the old man was there; he felt like he was small and like he was nothing. He never felt like that before in the presence of someone else and it scared him. Just the thoughts of how Victor was scrutinizing him with his predatory look made him feel sick. Why did he want him to be polite and obedient with him? Why did he want him to do what they want? They were treating him like shit...He didn't want to let them hurt him again. But he knew he was weak and was getting weaker with each hour. If he wanted to get out of there, he should try something soon or he wouldn't have enough strength left.

* * *

"Shit, there are paps and journalists everywhere," Isaac complained, walking inside the restaurant with Monte, Tommy and Cam.

"Yea, I think they were following us," Cam said, absently, looking around for an employee.

They had spent the day before and all the morning with the rest of the crew and Adam's family. With all the latest events and the emotions coming from of it, they needed to be together, just the four of them. So they decided to have lunch in a restaurant instead of eating at the hotel with the others. They needed fresh air too, so they walked and shopped a bit. When they passed in front of the restaurant, they thought it looked great, so they decided to stop to eat.

"Good afternoon, how can I help you?" a young woman asked them when she noticed Cam looking around.

"We would like to have a table for four but in the back if it's possible," Monte explained.

The woman nodded, smiling, and beckoned them to follow her. She showed them a table in the back of the restaurant with no client around; it was perfect. They sat at the table and started looking at the menu. When the waiter came to see them, they were ready to order.

"They are talking about Adam in all the newspapers now," Cam began, spreading butter on a piece of bread. "I don't know where the leak is coming from, no one was supposed to talk about it," she added before biting into the bread.

"Well, they probably figured out by themselves that Adam disappeared," Monte said, sighing like he just remembered that the singer was missing.

"I went on Twitter this morning, and the fans are just freaking out!" Tommy began between two sip of beer. "There are so many rumours about what happened and some comments are just so mean," he added sadly. "I missed him so much," he murmured, looking at his glass.

"Yea, we know, Tommy, we missed him too," Isaac said, sliding a comforting arm around the blond man's shoulders.

Tommy knew his friends missed Adam too, but what he was feeling was so strong. When he learned that the singer had been kidnapped, he was feeling really sad and worried. Later, he was really angry at himself and at everyone around because no one could do anything. And now, he was feeling empty, like a piece of himself was missing. He never felt like that before; it was so painful. He couldn't stop thinking about Adam; his voice, his smile, his laugh, his perfect blue eyes, his kisses, his touches... He always had this thought in the back of his mind that maybe he will never see him again and it was hurting so much. He couldn't spend the rest of his life without him; he loved him too much. When he was thinking about these feelings, he found out that maybe it was more than a friendship love. But now that he better understood his feelings, Adam wasn't there to share it with him.

The sound of a song and a light vibration on his thigh pulled Tommy out of his thoughts. It was his cell phone.

"Hey Neil, any news?" he asked, after he had taken a look at the caller ID.

"Hey Tommy...yea I have news...but it's not good," Neil said, despondent. "They found the place but it was empty. It seems like they moved away a few weeks ago."

"Oh no..." Tommy sighed, putting his head in his hands. "Please, tell me they know where to look now," he added, almost pleading.

"Miller told me they may have an idea, but they are not sure yet," Neil answered. "They have to talk to someone. They are going to call us when they find out more."

"Okay, thanks for your call," Tommy said, hanging up.

Everyone at the table was looking at the blond man when tears started running down his cheeks. Tommy was not the kind of person who cried easily, so they were worried and wanted to know what was going on.

* * *

Adam was still pacing the room, thinking. A metal sound coming from outside the room got him out of his thoughts; someone was unlocking the door and probably coming inside. When the door finally opened, Patrick and the other well-built man entered the room; Adam decided that he wouldn't retreat this time, so he stayed in the middle of the room.

"So...how are you doing, rockstar?" Patrick asked, grinning as usual and walking closer to Adam. "I thought that maybe you were feeling lonely," he added sliding a finger on the singer's chest.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Adam hissed, pushing the man away from him.

"Oh, you want to play that game...good, because it's the one I prefer!" the man said, rubbing his hands together and laughing. "Frank, grab him!"

When Frank tried to grab his arm, Adam dodged him and punched him on the jaw. It wasn't as strong as he wanted it to b, but it was enough to make the bigger man lose his balance, giving time to the singer to run for the door. When he was almost outside the room, a hand grabbed him by the hair and pulled him back.

"Where do you think you're going, bitch?" Patrick snapped angrily, letting go of Adam's hair. "I'm not done with you and you're going to do what I want you to do..."

While he was looking at the man and was thinking about what to do next, he felt an arm sliding around his throat, choking him. He tried to free himself but Frank was to strong and was squeezing harder. Patrick got closer, his grin back on his face.

"I thought Victor told you how it works here," he said, punching Adam hard in the stomach.

The punch hurt a lot, and with the arm around his throat the singer wasn't able to breathe anymore. He fell on the floor when Frank let go of him. Adam curled in a ball, holding his belly and coughing. He didn't have the time to regain his breath when Patrick was on him, grabbing his hands and pinning them above his head with one hand. He was now lying on his back and Patrick was straddling him.

"Hold his legs," he demanded to Frank who sat on Adam's legs.

The singer was struggling as much as possible to push the men away from him but Patrick didn't move an inch, Frank didn't either.

"Get off me!" Adam hissed, still fighting.

"Shut up!" the man said, slapping the side of the singer's face. "I'm going to give you something to shut you up rockstar," he added, stroking his crotch through his pants. "I'm sure you are going to enjoy this..."

When Adam saw the man unzipping his pants and getting his half-hard cock out, he knew exactly what was coming. So he started struggling harder, while Patrick was stroking his member a few inches in front of his face. Seeing Adam resisting like that was arousing him even more. His cock was now all hard and throbbing, pre cum leaking off the tip. Patrick moved his legs so he could kneel on Adam's arms preventing him from moving. The singer could perceive the musky smell of the man's crotch, so he turned his head to the side. Irritated, Patrick took hold of Adam's chin and throat and forced him to look at him.

"Let me go...please," the singer begged weakly, looking at the man with pleading eyes.

Patrick grinned even more, satisfied to see his prey helpless. He stopped stroking his member and traced only the head of his penis, wetting his fingers.

"There, taste it," he demanded softly, sliding his slicked fingers on Adam's lips and pushing a little to part them. "I'm sure you are going to like it, fag," he added, sliding one of his fingers into the singer's mouth.

When Adam felt the finger in his mouth, he bit it hard. He knew it was a big mistake when the hand on his throat started to strangle him and when he saw the anger in the man's face. Patrick took a quick look at his finger which was now bleeding, and turned a little to grab Adam's crotch in his hand, squeezing hard and making the singer whined in pain.

"Now listen carefully, rockstar," Patrick said, looking directly into Adam's eyes. "I'm gonna slide my dick between your beautiful freckle lips and I'm gonna fuck your mouth and throat. If you bite me again or if you don't behave correctly, I'm gonna clutch your balls so hard that you are not going to be able to walk anymore," he warned, still holding his throat and his genitals. "Did I make myself clear?" he asked, letting go of Adam's crotch after the young man had nodded lightly.

Keeping his grip on the singer's chin, Patrick took his hard-on in his hand and bent over, putting the head on Adam's lips.

"Open up!" he ordered, pushing a little. "Frank, grabbed his balls," he demanded when Adam didn't cooperate.

When the singer felt the grip on his genitals, he whined a little and parted his lips. As soon as Patrick saw the lips moved, he pushed his cock further inside, stretching Adam's lips. The singer closed his eyes and tried to relax his mouth and his throat. He was used to oral sex but he had never been mouth-raped before. Patrick was not gentle, he was trusting hard and deep into his mouth, so even if Adam was usually able to stop his gag reflex, he wasn't able to stop choking. Tears running down his cheeks, the singer needed air but the big man didn't care; he was still fucking his throat without mercy. When Adam was really out of breath, he panicked. He started to struggle, to move his head but Patrick was so strong and so lost in the pleasure that he didn't really notice Adam's situation.

"What the fuck are you doing?" a hard and angry voice asked. At the corner of his eyes, Adam saw Victor walking closer to them.

"I'm doing a trial on our new product," Patrick said, stopping his thrusting but keeping his hard cock in Adam's mouth, giving him a chance to take his breath.

"You know the rules, Patrick," the old man assumed, still irritated. "No touching if we don't have the green light. He doesn't belong to us; you're not allowed to use him!" he added, looking at Adam's face. "Now, get off him."

"Wait, just give me 2 more minutes so I can come," Patrick asked, getting back to his fucking.

"I said 'get off him' NOW!" Victor snapped out, looking furiously at Patrick and glancing quickly at Frank, who stood up immediately.

Angry, Patrick took his erection out of Adam's mouth, stood up and moved away from him. As soon as the singer was free, he retreated quickly near the closer wall, leaning his back against it and keeping his terrified eyes on the three men.

"Damn it, Victor, it's Adam fucking Lambert. We can't just keeping him here without using him," Patrick said, putting his cock back in his pants. "And he is a fag, so I'm sure he just craves cocks."

"You know that it will never be about what he wants, so forget about it for now," Victor said, walking closer to Adam. "I want the two of you out of here; you have work to do," he added, showing the door to Patrick and Frank.

When the two men got out of the room, Victor knelt in front of the singer. Adam was still in shock and he was scared. His jaw was hurting and his throat was sore. When he saw the old man getting closer, he bent his head down to avoid eye contact.

"You alright, boy?" Victor asked, laying down a hand on the young man's knee and stroking gently. Immediately, when Adam felt the touch, he moved his leg away, keeping his head down. "Look at me, boy," the man ordered. "I said 'look at me'" he repeated louder when Adam didn't obey, cupping the singer's chin hard and raising his head.

"I'm fine...Sir," Adam hissed, looking at the man, angrily. He noticed that Victor was staring at his red and swollen lips.

"Good boy," he whispered, licking his own lips hungrily. He stood up and walked to the door, groping his crotch through his pants. "I think I really need to find a way to get that green light," he added more to himself, smiling like he just got the best idea and getting out of the room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

******I can see that I have a lot of readers, but no one is leaving review. So please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...******


	9. Chapter 9

**WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

**Chapter 9**

Adam didn't realize that he fell asleep. He was lying on his side on the cold floor, curled up in a ball, trying to keep himself as warm as possible. He still had the taste of the man's cock in his mouth; he just wished he could brush his teeth and take a hot shower. The headache was back; probably because of the lack of food and water. He needed to use the bathroom again. He didn't have any more strength left. He just wished he could just close his eyes and never opening them again. He never felt so desperate, lost and lonely. But even if he was thinking about giving up, there was a small voice deep inside of him telling that he shouldn't let his captors win; he had to hold on.

So he sat up and leaned back against the wall. He thought about the conversation the men had in front of him. He remembered them talking about him like he was a product, an object; they also said something about the fact that he didn't belong to them, that someone else decided what to do with him. "It's like someone owns me or something...What the fuck is this place!" he asked himself. His toes were beginning to go numb, so he decided to stand up and walk a little. When he stood, he found out that he was weaker than he thought. It was hard for him to keep his balance, and he was getting a little tired after a few minutes. So he decided to sit down and after a moment, he started to hum one of his songs, followed by another, and another.

He didn't know how long he sat there, humming, when he heard movement on the other side of the door. "Oh no...please...not again..." he thought, worried. When the door opened, Victor entered the room; he was alone. He walked closer to Adam and stood in front of him, studying him.

"How do you feel, boy?" he asked softly, smiling.

Adam raised his head and looked at the old man. "How can he act like nothing happened, like everything was ok?" he thought.

"Like you care," the singer murmured, looking down at the floor. He was immediately kicked hard on the thigh.

"What did you just say, boy?" Victor hissed, irritated. "You don't really want to make me angry, do you?" he asked, kneeling in front of the younger man.

Massaging his painful thigh, Adam looked at the man's face; he saw anger but also something like amusement. The singer knew he made a mistake, but he was so pissed off that he didn't really care about the consequences.

"I'm sorry...Sir..." he began, hesitantly. "I know I'm not supposed to talk, but it's just that...well... I'm tired, I'm hungry...I don't know where I am or why I am here..." he added, looking at the older man's reaction; but nothing happened. "And you want me to act like everything is ok...and to let you treat me like I'm nothing...I'm sorry Sir, but it's not working with me, I had enough..." he added again, keeping his eyes on the man in front of him, defying.

At Adam's surprise, Victor started to laugh lightly. He thought that he would be beat up or something, but the old man didn't touch him.

"Come with me, boy," the man ordered, standing up. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you, well...for now..." he added, laughing, when Adam didn't move. "You want answers, I will give you answers...but it's just because I am in a really good mood. But first, I'm gonna tie your hands up; I don't trust you..."

The young man stood up hesitantly and followed the man outside the room. The old man took handcuffs hanging on the wall and locked them on Adam's wrists.

"I can see that you are not used having people to tell you what to do," Victor began, grabbing Adam hard by the arm and leading him into a dark corridor. "Do you need to use the bathroom?" he asked harshly.

The singer nodded. The old man stopped in front a door, opened it and turned on the light.

"There...I'm giving you 2 minutes," Victor said, pushing Adam inside.

The singer already knew that the man wouldn't leave him alone, so, shrugging, he relieved himself and washed his hands. He took a quick look at himself; he never had looked so bad before, even when he was hung over. Sighing, he walked back to Victor, who was leaning against the wall, grinning. The older man started to walk, pushing Adam in front of him.

"I can say that my team never had so much trouble kidnapping someone. Your security staff did a great job; we couldn't get close enough in the beginning..." Victor began, walking. They passed a few closed doors. It was very quiet; they could here only their footsteps on the floor and the sounds coming from the ventilation. "So we decided to play with your mind a bit, to make you weaker..." he added, stopping in front of a door, at the end of the corridor. "The letter, the picture, the paps, the anti-gay protest...our idea...and it worked pretty well!" he continued when Adam frowned.

"So...Are you kidnapping a lot of people? And why me?" the singer asked. "I'm sorry...Sir..." he added quickly when he noticed the disapproving look in the older man's face. But before he could react, he was slapped in the face. Irritated and humiliated, he lowered his head.

Victor looked at Adam and grinned. The older man opened the door and pushed Adam in front of him. They were now in a big room with better lightning. There was a big table in the middle, surrounding by several chairs. Adam could hear muffled sounds coming from a few doors away; it sounded like screams, moans and whines...

"Let me show you why you're here," Victor said, grabbing the singer by the arm and leading him to a closed door.

When the older man opened the door, Adam was shocked by what he saw. It was a small room, without windows like his room. On a table and hanging on the walls he noticed different objects; chains, leather straps, ropes, whips, butt-plugs, dildos, sharps objects, handcuffs... But what shattered him the most was the young man bent over on a kind of bench in the middle of the room. He was naked, his hands and his legs were chained to the floor, his ass cheeks and his back were dark red, due to the beating he had received. He was sobbing, but his sobs were muffled by a gag in his mouth. There was a man standing behind him with a leather whip in his hand. When Victor and Adam entered, he had stopped what he was doing to look at them. He glanced at the singer and grinned.

"Nice new slave, boss..." he said, smiling to Victor. "So it's true, the famous Adam Lambert is here..."

The singer couldn't move, he was completely in shock. Thinking about what happened to him since he was in this place, what he heard and now what was in front of him, made him understand what this place was and why he was there.

"I guess you just figured out what this place is, boy," Victor assumed, looking at the singer's reaction. "It's a slave farm and a world famous one...maybe not as famous as you ..." he added, laughing.

Adam felt suddenly very dizzy; his knees went weak, so he leaned against the wall behind him to support himself. But before he fell, Victor got closer quickly and held him.

"No no no, boy, you're not gonna pass out before we start your training..." the older man said, grinning. "Hey Jeff, can you help me?" he added when he noticed that Adam was not feeling better.

Wrapping an arm around his waist, the two men brought him near the table in the main room and sat him on a chair.

"Stay with him a minute," Victor said, getting out of the room.

He came back few minutes later with a glass of water and small piece of chocolate, putting them on the table in front of Adam.

"There, I think it's gonna help..." he began, sitting on another chair beside the singer. "I want you as weak as possible, but I don't want you to die of starvation," he added, nodding at the other man, who went back to the other room.

Adam grabbed the glass and took a few sips, keeping his eyes on Victor. While he was eating the chocolate, the door in front of him opened and Frank entered followed by Patrick. When they saw them at the table, they grinned, walked to them and sat beside them.

"What is he doing here?" Frank asked Victor.

"I decided to show him the place so he would understand better why he's here," the older man explained before his cell phone started to ring. "Just stay with him. I'll be back in a few minutes," he added, getting out of the room.

Adam was not feeling comfortable with the two men who wanted to abuse him; he was scared of them. He finished his glass of water and kept his eyes on his hands, not wanting to look at the men. Even if he couldn't see their face, he knew they were looking at him, probably grinning.

After a few minutes, Victor came back and was smiling at Patrick and Frank.

"Good news guys, we have the green light!" he said, glancing toward Adam. "We can train him, but I'm warning you guys, no fucking," he added, getting closer to the singer and pulling his hair back so he could look into his eyes. "I'm keeping that part for myself," he murmured, grinning when he saw panic and terror in the younger man's face.

"In the last hour, I talked with some of you and the FBI, and I decided to do a press conference," Lane began, pacing the room in front of the other persons. "There are a lot of questions out there, so we think it's better if we stop all the speculation and tell the truth," she added, trying more to convince herself that it was the right decision.

They were in a conference room; the band, the dancers, Sutan and Adam's family. They had spent the day wondering if the FBI had found the real place yet. Miller was back at the hotel, he was waiting to know if the hint they had was a good one. Everyone was tired; no one had had enough sleep in the last three days. They were all worried and with each new day without news about Adam, their worries were getting worst. Miller had talked a lot with Lane and Adam's parents about a press conference. The journalists, the paparazzi and the fans were pushing them a lot to get information about what was really happening. So the FBI agent decided that it was a good idea to inform the public. First, Neil wanted to do it. But after discussion, it was better if it appeared more like a business thing than a family thing. So Lane decided to do it.

"When are you doing it?" Monte asked.

"In two hours, in this room," Lane began, stopping her pacing. "I called some channels and newspaper directors. It seems like they were waiting for that press conference."

"Well, I'm not surprised," Eber said, holding Leila's hand. She had so much trouble dealing with the situation. "There are so many people out there who are asking about Adam, so they want to be the first ones to know the truth so they could make money with the news..." he added with disgust. Thinking about the fact that people want to make money from his son's kidnapping made him feel sick.

Two hours later, the same room was filled with journalists, paps and a few fans that learned about the event. Lane was so nervous, her heart was pulsing really fast and her hands were moist. But she knew she had to do it. The press conference lasted about 15 minutes. First, Lane talked about the kidnapping and how it happened. After her, agent Miller talked about the investigation but only a part of it. He didn't want to inform the kidnappers indirectly. At the end, they answered a few questions. Lane was glad when they were done. It went better than she thought and the journalists were surprisingly respectful.

There were now alone in the conference room, the last journalists had left a few minutes ago. Adam's friends and family were there with Lane and Miller. They were chatting about the conference when an FBI agent came to talk to Miller. They both moved away a bit from the others to have a private conversation. After a few minutes, Miller came back toward them.

"Good news, everyone," the agent announced, enthusiastic. "We found the place..." he added when everyone was looking at him. "I have to go, I'll call you when I'll get there."

"Please...please stop..."Adam begged between two whip strokes, tears running down his cheeks.

He was standing in the middle of a room, like the one where he saw the other young man. His hands where above his head, chained to a hook fixed on the ceiling. He was naked, tired and in pain.

When Victor said they had the green light, Adam had tried to run away. But, of course, he didn't get really far. Frank had punched him hard in the face, making him fall on the floor. They had kicked him a few times in the stomach, probably breaking one or two ribs in the process. When the singer wasn't moving anymore, they had grabbed him and had taken him in a training room. They had taken off his clothes and bent him over on a bench, chaining his hands and legs to the floor, just like the other young man. Victor had left the room, leaving Patrick and Frank with Adam.

They had decided to "play" a game with him. The singer had to give them oral sex like he really meant it. If it wasn't good enough, one of the men gave him several lashes with a whip on his back and his ass cheeks until it was better. Adam knew he was really good when he was giving blow jobs, but he didn't want to please his captors. So first, he had fought them, not giving them any pleasure, but after a few minutes of beating, he resigned and had done what they wanted. He had used all his skills to make them come as fast as possible, thinking they would leave him alone after. But he was wrong. They had unchained him from the floor and had hung him with the hook on the ceiling. When he was all settled, they had started to beat him again. He couldn't take more, so he had began to beg.

"Do you remember what you did to my back?" Patrick asked, stopping the whipping and grabbing Adam by his hair. "Now, you pay for it!" he added, grinning when he saw despair and fear in the singer eyes.

While Patrick was going to give Adam whip lashes again, Victor entered the room followed by another man. He was about 40 years old, black hair, dark skin and he was wearing a chic grey suite.

"Hmmm...Nice piece," he said, walking closer to Adam to get a better look. "How much?" he asked, turning to Victor.

"Sorry Sir, but you can't buy that one...he..." Victor began, before he was cut off by the other man.

"Just give me your price. And I'll even give you a bonus if I can have him tonight," the man proposed, smiling confidently. Victor looked at him and smiled back.

Adam heard all the conversation; now he was just whishing he could die from the beating...

*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****


	10. Chapter 10

**WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

_**This chapter contains a graphic rape scene. Don't read if you think you can't handle it.**_

**Chapter 10**

"Why can you just let me alone!"Adam hissed angrily, pushing Patrick away from him.

"You're not a diva anymore, rockstar!" Patrick snapped, grabbing the singer by the throat and shoving him onto the wall. "You're a slave now, so there's no 'alone' if your master doesn't want to allow it. And here, I'm one of your masters so I have the right to do everything I want to you," he added, squeezing his grip even more, strangling the younger man and banging his head hard on the wall.

They were in the shower room. It was like the showers of a locker room. The walls and the floor were covered with white ceramic, and there were several hooks with chains on each wall and on the floor.

When Victor a left the training room with the client about an hour before, he had said that he wanted Adam clean and fresh for his private training. So Patrick and Frank had kept beating him for 30 minutes before unchaining him and taking him to the shower. They had given him soap and shampoo and ordered him to wash himself while they were "watching" the show. Adam was exhausted and in pain; he had seen his reflection in the mirror and had noticed that his back was dark red, like the back of the other slave he saw a few hours earlier. When he got under the water, the pain had gotten worst, but he was so glad to be able to take a shower. After a few minutes, Patrick and Frank had taken off their clothes and had decided to take some more time to "play" with the singer. Watching Adam shower and knowing they had the power over him, aroused them, but since they weren't allowed to fuck him and they knew that the singer was really good at giving head, they decided to force him to give them blowjobs instead. But when Patrick had gotten closer to the younger man and had asked him to kneel, Adam didn't want to obey, so he got really pissed off.

So the singer was pinned to the wall, and he wasn't able to breathe because of Patrick's hand was on his throat. He tried to loosen the grip of the bigger man, but he was so weak that he wasn't strong enough.

"Maybe we should put the chains back," Frank proposed, stroking his hard cock and walking closer to the two men.

"Noooo...please..."Adam begged in a whisper with the last breath he had left, shaking his head lightly.

"So stop fighting us!" Patrick said, letting go of the young man and letting him fall to the wet floor. "Keep that in mind rockstar, we're always gonna win!"

Adam was half-sitting, half-lying on the floor, massaging his sore throat. He knew at this moment that Patrick was right; he couldn't fight them and win. So, he decided to do what they wanted, to submit to them. He didn't like the idea, but he didn't have enough strength left to fight them.

"Now, kneel," Patrick ordered, pointing in front of him.

The singer reluctantly obeyed, kneeling in front of the well-built man. When Patrick took his cock in his hand and put it on the young man lips, Adam parted them and let the man slide his member inside his mouth. The older man grabbed the singer's hair and started trusting in and out slowly. The singer was able to relax and let the man control him. So each time Patrick's cock hit the back of his throat, he was able to control his gag reflex.

"Good boy...fuck that feels good..." Patrick said, thrusting harder. "You see, you can be a good boy when you want to..."

After a few minutes, the big man came in Adam's mouth and throat, holding him still by his hair. Without spilling any drop, Adam swallowed all the man's semen. When Patrick took his cock out, Frank came closer, taking the other man's place.

"Mine, now..."he said, taking his hard on in his hand and sliding it into the young man's mouth.

Like Adam did with Patrick, he relaxed his mouth, his throat and his body to submit to Frank. When the older man came and the singer had swallowed all his cum, Patrick and Frank let Adam finished his shower and gave him a tooth brush and toothpaste. The singer was really glad; he'd wanted to brush his teeth since he arrived in this place.

When Adam was done, they handcuffed him, his hands behind his back, and holding him by the arms, leaded him to another part of the building that he didn't see yet. They stopped in front of closed door. Patrick knocked.

"Come in..." a voice called from inside the room.

When they entered, Adam frowned, seeing Victor laying on a bed, shirtless, reading a book and drinking a glass on whine. He knew what was coming and why he was brought here. He was shaking lightly from cold and panic, and he was scared; he couldn't find any way to get away from what was coming.

"Hmmmmm...That's gonna be so good..." Victor said when he noticed Adam's trouble expression. He stood up and walked closer to the singer. "You can go, guys. I'll take real good care of him," he added, grinning and pulling Adam toward him.

The dark haired man looked behind him to see Patrick and Frank closing the door behind them, waving playfully at him. When Victor noticed that Adam was not looking at him, he pushed him hard onto the opposite wall.

"You would have to learn to respect your master, boy," he began, pressing his body against the younger man. "Now I'm gonna show you who's in command here," he added, taking his cock out of his pants. "Kneel and suck my dick...and as a reward, I'm going to fuck you."

At these words, even if he already knew what was coming, Adam panicked and lost it. He pushed Victor away from him with his torso and shoulder. It was not really strong because he was weak, but it did the job, well for a few seconds. When Victor regained his balance, he was furious. He was looking at the younger man like he just wanted to kill him. So he headed toward the singer and punched him hard on the right temple. Adam's vision became fuzzy and he fell on the cold floor, flat on his stomach. The older man took something quickly from a small table and moved closer to the singer. He sat on him, straddling his hips.

"You still think you don't have to obey?" Victor began, opening a small bottle and pouring a small amount of its contain in his hand. "Well, I'm going to show you who's the boss here. First, I didn't want to hurt you too much, but it seems to me that you need some punishment," he added, lubbing and stroking his hardening cock.

Adam could hear what the older man was saying, but he was still knocked out from the punch he had received. He noticed the sound of the bottle, the slick noise of a hand on flesh. He knew exactly what Victor was doing, but he wasn't able to move to protest.

"Sir...please...don't do this..." was the only thing Adam managed to say when he felt the older man's body shifting and felt a hand parting his ass cheeks.

The singer closed his eyes and tried to relax. Without any preparation, he knew it was going to hurt. He hadn't been fucked for years now, he was always the one who tops. When he felt the head of Victor's cock pressing on his entrance, he tensed. But the older man didn't care; he slid all the way into Adam's tight hole with one hard trust.

"Ahhhhhhhhh," the singer screamed from the pain, tears running down his cheeks. It hurt like hell; it felt like he was torn apart. "Sir...please stop...please..." he begged, between two sobs of agony.

"You didn't want to obey; now you pay for it..." Victor hissed, grabbing at Adam's hair and pulling back. "Gosh, you feel really good...so fucking tight, for a slut like you," he added, thrusting harder and deeper.

The older man was biting and sucking on the younger man's neck and shoulders, claiming him, marking him. Adam was whining and crying in pain; he never felt something that painful before. He was sure he was going to die. Victor started to breathe unsteadily and lost the rhythm in his thrusting; Adam knew he was close. Finally, after a few more minutes of agony, Victor's body tense with a "oh fuck...yes..." and the singer could feel the spasms of the older man's cock inside of him, spurting his cum.

When Victor slid his dick out, Adam could feel a warm fluid leaking out of his hole. He knew it was probably cum mixed with his blood.

Neil was lying in the bed, half-asleep. He didn't really sleep since Adam was missing. He was exhausted, but he was just dozing off from time to time. He wasn't able to just let it go; he was afraid to miss any info or news about his brother. He was worried and scared; he couldn't stop himself from wondering what if...what if they can't find him...what if they find him but he's dead...what if he never sees him again? He was lost in his thoughts again when he heard his cell phone ringing.

* * *

"Hello," he answered, wondering who it could be so late in the night.

"Neil, it's Miller," the agent said. "I have some news for you."

"Really...what's going on?" Neil asked, worried.

"Well...One of my guys saw your brother earlier today," he said, calmly.

"My brother? What? How? Where?" the younger man asked, again.

"We sent him to investigate inside the place," the agent began. "We wanted to be sure Adam was there, and that we could prepare an operation to go inside without putting his life in danger."

"So, he's alive, right?"

"Yes, he is..."

"Is he ok?"

"Well...euh...yes, he's fine," agent Miller said, hesitating.

"What? What's going on? I know you are not telling me the truth, Miller," Neil demanded, angrily. If the FBI knew something about his brother, they had to tell him.

"Ok...Well, the guys there...they were...well, they were torturing him," the agent answered not sure how to explain what his teammate saw.

"Torturing him! What did they do to him?" Neil asked, leaning his head into the pillow.

"Neil, listen, it's not important...you have to," Miller began, before he was cut off by the younger man.

"MILLER, tell me!" Neil snapped, impatiently.

"Fine...They were flogging him...his back was dark red from the beating," the agent explained, unwillingly. "He couldn't defend himself...he was chained...he was in pain, Neil..."

"Oh my god...noooooo...Adam...nooooo," the young man said, tears running down his cheeks. "When are you going to get him out of there?" he asked after a silent minute.

"Tomorrow...the SWAT will be ready to intervene," Miller assured. "Don't worry, we'll get your brother out of there...I have to go. Can you tell the others about the info, please...but you don't have to say what my man saw..."

"Yea...thank you," Neil said, hanging up his phone.

He was so worried and desperate. How could someone want to hurt his brother? He was wondering how Adam was going to be; is he going to be fine? Now he was sure he couldn't sleep at all. So he decided to go find the others and tell them what he'd just learned, without the details, of course.

* * *

Adam was still on the cold floor, curled up into a ball. He was in pain, and he was shaking and sobbing. Victor sat on the bed, drinking his wine and glancing at the younger man.

"I'm...sorry...Sir..." the singer managed to say between sobs. He didn't know why he said that, why he was sorry, but he felt like it was the thing to say, and when he did it, he was feeling better for a reason he didn't know.

"Good boy," Victor said, smiling. At this moment, he knew he had broken Adam. It was always a big reward for him to break a slave. "Well, I think you understand your place as a slave now," he added, kneeling beside Adam and taking off his handcuffs. "Come on the bed with me, boy," he ordered, softly.

The singer tried to stand, but because of the pain and his weakness it was difficult. When Victor noticed it, he helped him to stand, and holding him by the waist, he lead him to the bed.

"Lay down and let me take a look at you, boy," the older man ordered again, calmly.

Adam obeyed and laid on his stomach; his back was too painful to do otherwise. He felt the bed shift beside him, hands stroking his back and ass cheeks lightly. After a minute or two, he felt a finger sliding down his crack and touching his entrance. When the finger pushed inside, he immediately tensed at the invasion.

"Shhhhh, it's alright boy," Victor whispered softly. "I just want to make sure I didn't break you too much. You're gonna be fine in a few days, if you're obedient, of course," he added, taking his finger out. "Now, I need to make sure you understand what is it to be a slave. Are you listening to me, boy?"

At the question, Adam turned his face to look at the older man and nodded. He was still sobbing and shaking lightly, but he was feeling more relaxed now.

"For now, one, what you want or desire it not important anymore," Victor began, sliding his hand in Adam's hair and stroking gently. "Your priority is to please your master, to make him happy. So, if he orders you to do something you don't like, it doesn't matter; you do it without thinking twice. If you're obedient and you're able to please him, a good master always takes good care of his slave. Your master would be there to protect you and take care of you; of course you have to deserve it by being a good boy. Do you understand what I'm saying, boy?"

"Yes, Sir," Adam answered. He didn't like the idea of being a slave; he had always been the "master" of his own decisions, of his own life. But, with what happened with Victor, Patrick and Frank in the last hours, he found out that it would be easier for him to always surrender and submit.

"Good boy," Victor whispered to him. "Come with me now, I'll bring you back to your room," he added, helping Adam to stand. He held him around the waist and lead him to his cold and empty room.

When they entered the room, the older man helped the singer to sit down on the floor. Adam tensed as soon as his ass touched the floor; it was so damn cold. But, he didn't really care, he just wanted to lie down and sleep for days or weeks if it was possible.

"I'll be back in a minute, boy," Victor announced, getting out of the room and closing the door behind him.

Adam curled up in a ball and held his knees to his torso. He was still in pain; he didn't know what to do to make it stop. At least, he was not bleeding anymore, so Victor was probably right; his injury was not too serious. A few minutes later, the older man came back. He was caring a tray with a bowl of chicken broth, a small piece of bread and a bottle of water.

"There, eat and drink, boy," Victor ordered, putting down the tray on the floor in front of Adam. "It'll help you regain some strength," he added, heading back to the door and closing it behind him.

Adam sat down holding his belly; it was burning inside. He didn't feel like he was hungry but he knew he had to eat something. So he took the bowl and took a sip of the liquid; he was disappointed, it was cold. He ate the bread, drank half the water and swallowed all the chicken broth. After a few minutes, he laid down; he was feeling so sleepy and his body started to feel numb. He fell asleep as soon as he closed his eyes, not feeling the coldness and the pain anymore.

* * *

Neil, his parents and Adam's friends were at the restaurant of the lobby. It was quiet and there were not a lot of customers around. They had decided to have breakfast all together, instead of having room service in their separate room. In the middle of the night, Neil had woken up his parents and Lane to tell them about Miller's news. Everyone was glad to hear that Adam was still alive and that they had a good chance to see him soon. When they were almost done with their breakfast and were sipping their last cup of coffee, Neil's cell phone rang.

"Hello," he said, noticing there was no caller ID.

"Neil, it's Miller," the agent said. "I'm sorry, but I have bad news..."

"What is it? Is Adam alright? Neil asked, standing up suddenly.

"We got into the building about an hour ago. We looked everywhere," Miller began, with a surprisingly devastated voice. "Adam's gone, his buyer came early this morning and took him away, I'm sorry," he added, sighing.

"NO, no, no...you said he was there and that you would find him today..." Neil snapped, angrily. "He can't be gone, he can't be...tell me you are going to find him..." he added, begging.

"I promise we'll do everything we can to find him," the agent promised. "My men are questioning the owner of the farm. I'm sure we'll find out names and addresses and credit card numbers...We'll find him..."

At this sentence, Neil hung up and sat down on his chair. Everyone around the table was looking at him, worried.

"It's Adam..."he managed to say, in shock. "He had been sold." He lowered his head and could feel tears filling his eyes.

* * *

*******Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*******


	11. Chapter 11

**WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

_**This chapter contains a rape scene. Don't read if you think you can't handle it.**_

**Chapter 11**

Adam was waking up slowly. He didn't remembered where he was, but it felt good; it was warm, soft and it smelt good, like flowers. He moved a little; he noticed he was lying in a really comfortable bed. He tried to move his hands; he heard a faint metal noise coming from above his head. He tried to pull his hands toward him, but they were stopped at mid-distance when he felt cold grip tighten around his wrists. He opened his eyes. He really didn't know where he was exactly. He was in a big room full with chic and expensive objects. He was laying in a king size bed, with red sheets and big fluffy pillows and cushions. He looked above his head; his hands were handcuffed and chained to the metal headboard. He tried to sit up but as soon as he lifted his head and torso, he felt dizzy. His head was spinning a little and the pain in his lower belly, the burning inside, came back. So he preferred to lie back down. He heard sounds coming from a half opened door at his left side.

"Hey Adam, I'm glad to see you awake," a man said, coming inside the room and smiling at the singer. "I have something for you. Because of the drugs that he gave you and what he did to you, Victor told me you may be in pain at your wakening, so there're some pain killers," he added, sitting beside Adam on the bed and handing him two white pills.

Adam looked at him in shock. "Who's that guy? Where am I?" he thought, moving away when the man sat on the bed.

"It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you," the man assured with a calm tone. "You should take the pills."

The singer nodded, hesitant and tried to reach the pills, but he couldn't; he had forgotten he was chained to the bed.

"Oh, I'm sorry...There, let me help you," the man proposed, sliding the pills in the singer's mouth and pouring some water in it to help him swallow them. "Oh...my name is Paul by the way..." he added, smiling.

Adam looked at the man. He was older than him, maybe 40 years old. He was about his height but bigger. He had short brown hair, military style, and green eyes. He was wearing a dark green polo with blue jeans. He seemed to be really happy; he had been smiling since he entered the room.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but where am I? And why am I here?" Adam asked with caution, not knowing if he was allowed to speak.

"Adam, first of all, forget the 'Sir' with me, just call me Paul," he began. "I'm the one who asked Victor and his team to kidnap you...I'm sorry about that, it was the only way to bring you here...You know, it cost me five million dollars to make that happened," he added, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "Victor told me I should make my claim on you and make you mine as soon as possible to be sure you understand and you feel that I own you, but I think you need to rest and get some strength first," he assumed, standing up and walking toward the door. "If you need anything, just ask me. Get some sleep now, when you'll wake up, I'll bring you a breakfast and we'll talk more," he said, getting out of the room and closing the door behind him.

Adam wondered who that guy was and why he wanted him to be here. He was acting like it was totally normal to talk to him while he was chained to the bed. He didn't like the way he was talking about claiming him and make him his. He was afraid about the meaning of it and what Paul was going to do to him. But even if he seemed really weird and was scaring him, he was right; Adam was hungry and tired. He knew that it would be so easy to sleep in that bed; it was so warm and comfortable compared with his room in Victor's place. So he closed his eyes, and thinking about a nice breakfast, he fell asleep after a few minutes.

* * *

"Do you think he's still in the country?" Tommy asked, folding his several t-shirts.

"I don't know...I hope so..." Isaac answered, closing one of his bags.

They were in their hotel room and were packing their belongings. Miller had called not long after breakfast to tell them there was no reason to stay at the hotel anymore. Adam could be anywhere in the US or somewhere in another country, so they didn't need to stay close to the place they thought the singer was in the first place. Even the FBI crew had left earlier for their own office.

Tommy was glad to go back home but being all together here was helping them to get through this, supporting and helping each other. But now, it was going to be different. He was hoping that Monte, Isaac or Sutan wouldn't mind to spend some time with him; he didn't want to be alone. Usually, when he was feeling lonely, he was calling or texting Adam to talk or to do something with him. Thinking about going back to LA without his best friend was really painful; it felt like he was giving up on him, like he wouldn't see him again.

"Oh, fuck..." Tommy cried, throwing his folded shirts on the floor and letting himself fall on his knees beside his clothes.

"Tommy? Are you ok?" Isaac asked, worried. He walked closer to the blond man and kneeled in front of him.

"I can't stop thinking about him," the bassist began, sniffing. "I feel like we are abandoning him, and I don't want that," he added, wiping away his tears with his hands.

"We're not abandoning him; there's no use for us to stay here anymore..." the drummer said, stroking Tommy's back slowly. "I'm sure they are going to find him soon and he'll be back in LA in a few days."

"Gosh, I just hope you're right...I miss him so much..." Tommy murmured, sitting on the floor and leaning against the bed.

"I'm sure I am...and he's going to be ok," Isaac said, sitting next to Tommy and wrapping his arms around him. "Come here."

The blond man let himself leaned in Isaac's arms and closed his eyes, sobbing.

* * *

Adam was awake, but he didn't want to open his eyes yet. He noticed that the room smelled like pancakes and maple syrup, making his stomach growl. He was really hungry; he hadn't had a real good meal for days now. He decided to finally open his eyes. Paul was sitting on a couch near the window, reading a book. Adam tried to look outside, he hadn't seen the sun since a few days ago, but the curtains were closed. He glanced around the room and noticed the tray on a table. So he didn't dream about it. There were real pancakes, and they looked delicious. He was so occupied by the sight of the pancakes that he didn't noticed Paul looking at him.

"Hey, good morning, Adam," Paul said, standing up and getting closer to the bed. "How do you feel?"

"Better...thank you..." Adam was so confused; he didn't how to act with that man. He was scared to do something wrong and to be punish for it. "I'm sorry...but I'm really hungry," he added, blushing, when his stomach growled louder.

"Oh, don't be sorry," the older man said, smiling and reaching for the tray. "I'm glad you're hungry, because I cooked a breakfast for you."

Adam smiled shyly and tried to sit up. But it was not easy to do with the handcuffs and the chain. Paul was looking at him, studying.

"Look, I will unchain one of your hands, but you have to promise me that I won't regret it, ok?" he said, putting the tray back and waiting for Adam's answer and reaction. When the singer nodded, Paul took a key from his pants and bending above Adam, unlocked the handcuffs, freeing the young man's right hand and locking it back on the left hand. "I think it's going to be easier like that," he added, smiling and sitting next to Adam. He put down the tray on the sheet over the singer's thighs after Adam sat up.

Adam took the fork and started to eat; it was really delicious. There was also a cup of warm tea with honey; his favourite. Paul was silent; he was looking at him, smiling.

"I think we need to talk," the older man began after a few minutes. "You need to know why you're here, and what I want from you," he added, looking at the singer to see if he had his attention. "First of all, I'm a big fan of yours since I saw you on American Idol. I always want to meet you, to talk to you. But, I never had a chance. I saw you five times in concert during your first tour; it was amazing; you were amazing."

Adam was listening to the man while eating his breakfast. He couldn't believe that this guy was one of his fans and was also the one who wanted him to be kidnapped.

"It shouldn't have been easy for you in the beginning, especially because of your sexual orientation. I know what it is, because I'm gay, too. When I was 20 years old, I decided to tell my father that I was gay. He was so upset. He told me I was bringing shame and dishonour on the family. Our family was really rich and conservative; his only son being gay was inacceptable. So a few days after I told my father, he came back to me. He told me that it was okay to want to kill myself for being so disgusting. He said that he would even help me commit suicide. For him, it was the only way to save his reputation. He explained the different possibilities; the gun, the hanging, the drowning...He told me to think about it. After a few days, I was wondering why he should be allowed to live if I was not. So I decided to kill him. I forced him to leave me everything on his testament, and I poisoned him. So now, he's gone, and I'm the rich one!" Paul finished, a big smile appearing on his face. During his story, he had not been smiling. But when he said that he had killed his father, it seemed like it was really a release and a big pride for him.

Adam was in shock. At first, he had some kind of sympathy for the man; he knew it was not easy to do a coming out. But after he told him he had killed his own father, even if his father was a monster, he was disgusted and scared for himself. If he was able to kill one person so close to him, he was surely able to kill him, too.

"Look, you don't have to be afraid of me, Adam," Paul began, like he had read the singer's mind. "I didn't bring you here to hurt you. I only will if I have to, but I won't get pleasure from doing it," he added, taking the tray back and putting it on the nightstand. "I become very angry and upset when I don't get what I want, but usually, I'm a gentle person...you'll see for yourself," he said again, smiling.

"I'm sorry Sir...sorry...Paul..." Adam said, lowering his head, not knowing if he had the right to speak. "I don't know what I can do and what I can not...I don't even know if I'm allowed to speak without your permission...With Victor, I wasn't, and I had been punished for doing so...I don't know what you want from me or why I'm here..."

Adam was blushing and was still scared. He didn't know if he had made a mistake and if Paul would beat him up. He kept his head down, waiting for the other man's reaction.

"You can speak to me every time you want to. If I don't want to hear you, I will tell you," Paul explained, patting Adam leg through the sheets. "What I want from you it's simple; I want you as a mate. I want you all for myself, and I don't want to share you with anyone," he added, reaching for Adam's right hand and cuffed it back quickly. The younger man was looking at him worried. "And now, I'm going to make you mine, to show you that I want to own you," he said again, beginning to undress.

As soon as Paul started to take off his polo, Adam understood what he meant by making him his, and he began to panic. After what happened with Victor a few hours ago, he didn't want to be touched again.

"Please Paul, don't...please..." the singer begged, trying to stay as far as possible from the other man but failing because of the handcuffs and the chain.

"Shhhhhhh Adam," Paul said, finishing undressing himself. "Everything is going to be ok; I'll be very gentle, I promise," he added, removing the sheets from Adam's naked body and taking a tube of lube from the nightstand.

The singer started to shake uncontrollably. He struggled to free himself and tried to kick the other man. Staying away of Adam's legs, Paul grabbed the young man's hips and pulled him down easily on his back. He climbed on the bed and straddled Adam's knees.

"I told you, Adam, I don't want to hurt you, so I'm gonna need your cooperation here," Paul said, pouring some lube on his fingers. "I want you to spread your legs so I can have better access. I'm gonna use my fingers first."

Adam was shaking his head; he didn't want that. But he learned during the last days that the more he fought back the more he was getting hurt. So he spread his legs slowly when Paul stood back a little to let him move. He closed his eyes and tried to relax when he felt fingers going slowly down in his crack and rubbing again his entrance.

"Just relax, I'm going to make you feel really good," Paul assured, pushing a first finger inside.

After a few minutes, three fingers were thrusting into Adam's hole. The young man was sobbing lightly, biting on his bottom lip to stop himself from whining. It was a bit painful, but nothing compared with what Victor did to him. And Paul had kept his promises; he was really gentle and was attentive to the singer's reactions. When Paul thought that Adam's was ready for more, he lubed his cock and spread the young man's legs further apart.

"Don't worry, baby, I'll go slowly until I'm all the way inside," Paul said, lining his cock with Adam's entrance and pushing.

Adam tensed at first, but began to relax when he didn't feel too much pain. The older man was still very gentle, controlling his thrusting. When Paul was all the way inside, he started moving faster, but always being attentive to not hurt the singer. The younger man was keeping his head turned on the side; his eyes closed. He wanted to block all the feelings he was having, trying to get his mind somewhere else, somewhere beautiful, calm and quiet, where he was alone.

"Oh fuck, baby, that feels so good; you feel so good," Paul moaned when he felt he was close to coming, griping Adam's hips harder.

Adam felt the other man's muscles tensed, and he knew he was coming; that meant it was over for him, for now.

"Are you ok?" Paul asked, sliding his cock out slowly. "Did I hurt you, Adam?" he asked again when the younger man didn't answer and kept his eyes closed.

Adam nodded lightly when tears started to run down his cheeks. Paul laid next to him and stroked his stomach gently.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you...I'm really sorry," he said, worried. "Next time, I'll be more careful."

The singer opened his eyes and looked at him. Did he really hear him talking about a next time? What did Paul think he was? A whore? A sextoy? No, there won't be next time, there can't be.

"No...I don't want to do that again...please," Adam pleaded, shaking his head.

"Adam, it's not about what you want, it's about what I want...And it's exactly what I want," Paul began, caressing the young man's face. "I know you love sex, and I do too...So it's perfect! We'll have sex as often as possible!" he added, stroking Adam's hair gently.

"But it's not sex, it's rape...I don't want that...please, just let me go," Adam begged, sobbing and trying to get away from the other man's touch.

Apparently, that was a big mistake, because in a second, Paul, with his face reddened by the sudden anger, was above Adam and was strangling him with his big hands.

"You are going to do what I want...I don't care what you want," the older man hissed, cupping Adam's chin to look into his terrified eyes. "I told you to not upset me...Do you understand what I'm saying?" he asked, his face almost touching the singer's.

Scared and tamed, Adam nodded. He didn't want to be beating up again. When Paul noticed the young man's surrender, he loosed his grip and kissed Adam quickly on the lips.

"Good...I think we have an understanding here..." the older man said, getting up and beginning to dress. "From now on, I'll keep you cuffed and drugged; I don't trust you yet. I'll drug you twice a day with a kind of sedative; it's going to be easier to control you that way. I poured some of it in your tea this morning. Now, I'll leave you alone for a while, so you can think about your new life here with me. I'll be back later," he added, walking out of the room.

Adam was despondent. He couldn't believe he would have to be a sex slave for that man now. He couldn't see any way to get out of this situation and to get away from there. He felt lazy; probably the drug's effects. He turned on his side and closed his eyes, trying to shut everything out.

* * *

Lane had a lot of work to do now that she was back to LA for the last three days. After a long discussion with the record company, she decided to cancel all the national tour. She had to call all the theaters and venues where Adam was supposed to perform and all the TV shows where he was supposed to be a guest. It was really difficult for her to do the job; she couldn't stop thinking about the singer. She had the feeling that she would see him again soon; it was why she didn't touch the international tour's schedule yet, "just in case" she said.

She was taking a break in the middle of the afternoon when her cell phone rang. She picked it up and noticed that it was an unknown caller ID.

"Hello, Lane speaking."

"Lane, it's agent Miller," the caller voice said. "I have good news."

"Really!" she asked, hoping for THE good news.

"We related the info we got at the slave farm with 8 locations in 6 different states. We already visited 6 of these places in the last 3 days. We didn't find Adam, but we learned that all the buildings were owned by the same company and the same owner. We found out that the two last places are his villa and his summer cabin. We think we have good chances of finding him there. The guy is very rich; he could easily afford to hire people to kidnap Adam," the agent explained with enthusiasm. "We are heading to the summer cabin right now. It's hidden in the woods, so maybe there are more chances to find him there. I'll call you later," he added before hanging up.

Lane couldn't believe it. She was hoping that this time, it was going to be the good one. She decided to wait before calling the others; she didn't want to give them false hope.

* * *

The last three days looked all the same for Adam. When he was waking up in the morning, Paul was bringing him breakfast. After, he was unchained from the bed and was led to the bathroom. He was allowed to relieve himself, to brush his teeth and to take a shower. Paul was showering with him, to keep an eye on him and to force him to have sex. When they were done, Adam could dress in leather pants and a black shirt which looked exactly like the ones he wore during his first tour. When he was dressed, Paul was cuffing his hands and was keeping him with him all day. He was taking him to the office he had in the house and was letting Adam watch TV, listen some music or read books while he was working. They were having dinner in the big and chic dining room. During the evening, they were watching movies, Paul forcing Adam to cuddle with him. When it was time to going to bed, the singer had to take his clothes off and was chained to the headboard again. The older man was raping him once or twice before falling asleep. Two or three times during the night, Adam was woken up by a few touches and kisses. It seemed like Paul was never having enough sex. Even when the singer was sobbing or begging to let him sleep, the older man didn't care; he was fucking him just like he wanted it, sometimes being very gentle, sometimes being rougher, biting and marking the younger man's body.

At first, Adam was trying to fight Paul off. But the older man was always getting angry and was hurting him. The last time Adam didn't do what Paul was asking, he had been push hard on the floor, his head hit the tiles really badly. He had been knocked out for a few seconds. He had a big headache since then and was feeling really dizzy. So he had decided to stop fighting for good. The drug didn't help him to stand in front of Paul; it was affecting him physically but also psychologically. He was surrendering more and more easily.

So after those three days, Adam was really tired and had fallen asleep on Paul's lap while they were watching a movie. Paul had waking him up, leaded him to the bedroom and put him in bed.

"I'm not tired yet," Paul said, pulling the sheets over Adam's body. "I'm gonna finish the movie and maybe do some work. Get some sleep, I'll wake you up when I come back," he added, kissing the singer on the forehead and leaving the room.

It didn't take long before Adam fell asleep. He didn't know for how long he was sleeping when he heard loud noises coming from the other side of the house. It was too far away from the room, so he was not able to distinguish what was happening. "Maybe Paul got angry again because of something and he is throwing everything in his office on the floor," Adam thought, rolling on his side, his back to the door. He didn't really care about what the other man was doing; he knew he needed to get some rest as much as possible before Paul's return. After a few minutes, the entire house became really quiet. Adam was beginning to drop back to sleep when he heard footsteps heading toward the room and the bed. Even if he was awake, he didn't want Paul to know it. Maybe if he thought he was deep asleep, he would wait until later to fuck him. When the footsteps stopped next to the bed, Adam knew that Paul was studying him, thinking if he should wake him up. When the bed shifted beside him and he felt a hand on his back, he tried not to tense.

"Adam, wake up," a familiar voice ordered calmly.

The singer opened his eyes slowly; it was not Paul's voice. He turned his head to look behind him.

"Agent Miller!" he murmured, not sure if he was dreaming.

"Yes Adam, it's me," the agent said, smiling. "You're safe now."

* * *

*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****


	12. Chapter 12

**WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

_**This chapter contains flashbacks of trauma. Don't read if you think you can't handle it.**_

**Chapter 12**

After the FBI had found Adam, they brought him to the closest hospital. They kept the operation and the singer's transport as secret as possible. They asked the hospital's employees to stay discreet about Adam being admitted in their facilities. They didn't want paps and fans all over the hospital's entrance asking to see him; it was really not a good time for that.

When the singer was safe and the doctors and nurses were taking good care of him, agent Miller called Adam's parents to tell them about the good news. He told them that he thought he was fine, but the doctors will know more about it in a few hours. He gave them the address of the hospital and told them to call him when their plane landed, so he could send someone to pick them up at the airport. When Adam's family arrived at the hospital, Miller was waiting for them at the entrance.

"How was your flight?" the agent asked when Leila, Eber and Neil passed the front doors.

"Where is he? Did you learn more? How is he? Can we see him?" Adam's mother asked, thinking about one thing; seeing his son.

"Don't worry, he's ok; he's in good hands right now," Miller assured, leading them to the elevator. "But first of all, you need to see his doctor; he needs to talk to you."

Leila was really worried. If they needed to talk to a doctor first, it probably meant that something was wrong, that Adam was not as fine as the FBI agent told them. The ride in the elevator to reach the 5th floor seemed like an eternity for her. Neil was standing next to her, trying to comforting her with his arm around her shoulders.

When the doors of the elevator opened, Miller walked with them toward the nurses' desk. After the agent asked one of the employees to call Adam's doctor, he left, telling them that he was there if they needed him and they just had to call him. About 10 minutes later, a tall and slim man came to see them. He was about 60 years old, had grey hair and brown eyes. He was wearing glasses and a white smock over a blue shirt.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Ryan Davis. You should be Adam's family?" he said, shaking their hands. "Come with me, I'm sure you are all impatient to see Adam," he added, pushing a door and leading them into a long corridor.

"Please, Dr., how is my son?" Eber asked, worried.

"Well, I guess I need to be honest with you," the doctor began, stopping in front of a door framed by to guards. "I can say that Adam's fine; it could be worse than that. But, he had been beat up, whipped, drugged and...raped. He has a serious concussion, two broken ribs, a few bruises and small wounds all over his body, and we found a large amount of drugs in his blood."

Leila was feeling weak; she was suddenly very pale, and her legs felt limp. When Dr. Davis noticed her situation, he found a chair not far away and gave it to her so she could sit down.

"I'm sorry, but I have to tell you the truth, and I know it's hard to hear," the doctor said, taking her pulse. "Even if it seems really serious, I'm not worried about Adam's physical state. He's young and in good shape; he'll be fine in a few weeks," he continued when he saw that Leila seemed to be fine. "But, I'm more worried about his emotional state. It's not really my place to talk about that part...I called one of my colleagues before you arrived, Dr. Anna Spencer; she's a psychologist. She is going to help you and Adam getting through this," he added, opening the door. "But one more thing; Adam is fragile right now. Don't push him and be patient; he needs your understanding," he murmured, blocking the way for a few seconds before letting them in.

When they entered, they saw Adam lying on his side, facing them. He seemed to be deeply asleep. Leila walked closer to the bed, to have a better look at her son. He was pale, with dark shadows under his eyes. His bottom lip was a bit swollen, and there was a wound on it which looked like a bite. She noticed bruises on his neck and other bite marks. When she glanced at the IV in his left arm, she noticed red marks around his wrists. She didn't need anyone to tell her what happened to her son, what and who marked him like that; she could guess about it easily. It was so painful for her to see him like that, to know that someone had hurt him that much.

"It's a good thing that his captors kept him drugged," Dr. Davis murmured, not wanting to wake up the younger man, walking closer and taking a quick look at Adam's IV. "They gave him some kind of tranquillizer. Without it, he would have been in a lot of pain."

"How long he will have to stay here?" Neil asked, sitting on the bed, near his brother's feet.

"I want to keep him for at least 2 or 3 days," the doctor said, after checking the singer's pulse. "I want to keep an eye on that concussion, to be sure there's no complication. And, I want to drain his body off that drug and give him another one less addictive and harmless. He'll need it for the pain and to help him get some sleep," he added when his beeper start to ring. "I have to go, but I'll be back later. If you have any question or if you need anything, just ask," he said again, before getting out of the room and closing the door behind him.

When the doctor closed the door, Leila dissolved into tears. Eber took her in his arms and sat her on a small couch before sitting next to her. Neil stayed on the bed, looking at his brother and wondering how it would be when his brother woke up.

* * *

Adam was slowly waking up. He didn't want to open his eyes yet. He was scared to find out that his rescue by Miller was just a dream, and that he was not really at the hospital, but in Paul's bed, with Paul. After a few minutes, he decided to finally open his eyes. The first thing he saw was a person on the bed, reading a magazine. When he looked carefully he recognised his brother.

"Neil!" he asked, still not sure if he was really awake.

Neil let go of his reading, turned to look at Adam and smiled. Leila and Eber glanced toward the bed and saw that Adam was awake.

"Mom! Dad!" Adam said when he saw his parents standing up on the other side of the bed.

"Oh my god, Adam, honey," Leila exclaimed, coming closer to the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and bent down to take her elder son in her arms. As soon as she hugged him, Adam tensed. "Oh I'm sorry...did I hurt you?"

"No, it's ok, mom...I'm fine" Adam assured, weakly, tears running down his cheeks. He was happy to see them. He didn't know why, but the feeling of someone touching him, hugging him didn't feel good; he was not feeling really comfortable with it. He was wondering what was wrong with him, and it was worrying him.

When Leila let go of his son, Eber and Neil hugged him too and told him how happy they were to have him back with them. Adam sat up and noticed that his wounds were visible; he didn't feel comfortable with that. So he tried to hide as much as possible with the sheet. After a few minutes, he didn't know what to say to his own family. He was feeling ashamed of what happened and was keeping his head down. He didn't want to look at them directly in the eyes; he didn't want to see the pity they had for him. He knew they probably had a lot of questions they wanted to ask him, but he was not ready to answer them yet. He was still feeling groggy from the drug Paul gave him about 12 hours ago. The doctor told him that it would take at least 2 days to stop feeling the effects of the drug and that he had to stay at the hospital for maybe 3 more days. He just wished he was already back home, alone.

"So...how's everyone?" he asked, wanting to think about something else.

"Your band, your dancers and the rest of the team are back home," Neil began. "I called them earlier this morning to tell them about you. They are looking forward to seeing you."

At these words, Adam frowned. He realised that he didn't want to be surrounded by a bunch of people worrying about him, asking him questions and looking at him like he was a poor child, even if these people were his friends. He just wanted to be alone in his house. Thinking about people asking questions made him wonder about the public part of his life. Did the tabloids and the fans know that he was missing? And if they learned about it, did they find out that the feds had found him?

"Hum...I was wondering...what the public knows about what happened...to me...I mean?" he asked, still not daring to look at his family directly.

"Lane and Miller did a press conference a few days ago about the fact that you had been kidnapped," Eber said, back on the couch with Leila. "So, they know that you were missing, but we didn't tell anyone that the FBI had found you yet."

"What do you want to do about it?" Leila asked.

"Hum...I don't know...I mean...well...I don't think I really want to talk about this with the public yet..." Adam answered, shyly. "But I guess my fans should know that I'm fine now..."

"You don't want to talk about what happened with them..." Leila began with caution. "But do you want to talk about it, at least with...us?"

At her words, Adam tensed, physically becoming withdrawn, drawing his knees closer to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

Eber and Neil turned toward Leila and gave her a warning look. They knew Adam was obviously not ready for this yet.

"Ok...I'm hungry...Someone else want to eat something?" Eber asked, wanting to lighten the atmosphere.

"Yes...I am hungry too...what about a pizza?" Neil said, enthusiasm.

Adam looked at his father and his brother and smiled lightly.

* * *

After asking the nurse if Adam could eat everything he wanted, Eber ordered a pizza with French fries. When they finished eating, the singer asked them if they could buy him an iPod or something; he really needed to listen some music. He also asked them to find him some clothes, because he didn't have any except the ones Paul had gave him, and he didn't want to wear them anymore. During the middle of the afternoon, Adam started to be really tired, and he had a big headache. After the nurse gave him something for the pain, the singer fell asleep quickly. His parents decided to do the shopping during their son's nap while Neil decide to stay; he didn't want to leave Adam alone.

Adam was sleeping when he felt the bed shift next to him. The sheets were being removed from him for a few seconds, long enough to feel the fresh air on his naked body. He shivered a little. Then, he felt a warm body lying next to him and the covers were back on him. A hand started to caress his thigh gently.

"Don't worry baby, I'm gonna warm you up," Paul whispered in his ear, kissing him on the neck. "I'm gonna make you feel so good..." Paul's hand started to go down between his thighs, stroking his ass cheeks. "Just relax, I'm going to fuck you slowly..."he added, trying to spread the younger man's legs to have better access.

"NOOOOO," Adam screamed, waking up suddenly and sitting up in his bed.

"Adam, are you ok?" Neil asked, standing next to the bed.

The singer was looking at him with terror. When he tried to touch his shoulder to comfort him, Adam tensed and moved away from him.

"Ok...It's alright Adam...it was just a dream...You are safe here..." Neil tried to reassure, giving his brother some space.

"I'm...I'm sorry...I just...I mean...I..." Adam murmured, still confused a little because of the nightmare. He was shaking and couldn't stop the fear that had risen inside of him, even if he knew he was safe and it was just a bad dream.

"It's ok...you don't have to be sorry for anything, and you don't have to explain anything to me either," Neil explained, sitting on the bed at his brother's feet. "But if you need to talk, it doesn't matter when or where, I'll be there, alright?" he added, smiling lightly.

Adam looked at him and nodded. He laid back down, his back to his brother. He thought that in the last days, when he was at Victor's or Paul's place, he wasn't dreaming; well he didn't remember having dreams. Maybe now that the effects of the drug were fading, he was able to dream again, and to have nightmares, too. That was really not looking good; he didn't want to relive what happened to him each night. Even if he was really worried about it, he fell asleep after a few minutes; he was so exhausted.

When Adam woke up in the morning of the second day at the hospital, he started to feel more focus and alerted. He wasn't feeling the drug anymore, but he was in pain. His head was hurting badly, he was feeling nauseous and all parts of his body were sore. The doctor visited him early, and he prescribed him pain killers and some pills for his nausea. His parents and his brother spent the night in the nearest hotel and were at the hospital after breakfast.

Adam had called Lane to tell her that he wanted to tell his fans that he was not in danger anymore. She told him that she was going to do a press conference, telling the public that he was now safe, but without telling more details about what happened and where he was right now. The singer agreed and watched the conference on TV a few hours later. He thought he was right to trust Lane so much; she did it perfectly.

Later, Adam tried the new clothes his parents bought him the day before and loaded some music on his new iPod with Neil's laptop. They were looking for the new song by Muse when the door of his room opened. A young woman entered and smiled at everyone. She had blond hair, blue eyes and was wearing a pale blue shirt, which accentuated the color of her eyes, and a black skirt.

"Hi Adam, I'm Dr. Anna Spencer, I'm a psychologist," she presented herself, shaking the singer's hand. "You must be Adam's parents... and you are his brother," she added, shaking their hands, too. "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I would like to talk with Adam in private," she explained.

Eber, Leila and Neil nodded and left the room. Dr. Lewis took a chair and sat next to the bed. She looked at Adam, studying him a little. She noticed that he was feeling uncomfortable, but she was not surprised about it. Dr. Davis told her about Adam's injuries and what had probably happened to him. With that information, she was able to predict a part of the singer's behaviour' and a part of what he was probably thinking.

"How do you feel, Adam?" she asked him, already knowing what his answer was going to be.

"Well...hum...I'm a bit in pain, but with the pain killers I'm feeling better," he said, not daring to look at her. He didn't like how she was looking at him, like she was trying to read him.

"Yea, Dr. Davis told me about your pain and that you are feeling better," she began, crossing her leg on the other one. "But, I'm more interested about your psychological state, about your emotions."

"But...I'm fine...I'm just a little tired," he really didn't want to talk about how he was feeling; he didn't really know how he was feeling himself.

"Look Adam, I don't know exactly what happened to you in the past week, but I know enough to be sure that you are not that fine and that you need help to get through this," she said, trying to be convincing. "I'm here to help you. Maybe it's hard for you right now to understand your emotions. So we can talk about what happened, what these persons did to you," she had softly, hoping he would want to open up to her.

"I have nothing to say," Adam hissed, feeling the anger rising inside of him.

"I'm sure you have a lot to say, Adam...And you need to talk about it; you can't keep that to yourself..."

"I don't want to talk about it, alright!" the singer almost screamed, getting out of the bed. He was angry, and he wasn't able to control himself. He started to pace room, but always keeping his distance from the psychologist.

"Adam," Dr. Spencer said gently, standing up.

"No! I have nothing to say," he said, stopping his pacing and looking at the window. "I just want to be alone..."

"Adam, please..."

"No! I said leave me alone!" This time he was screaming.

"Ok, if it's what you want," she said walking toward the door. "But like I said, you can't keep that to yourself...When you think you are ready to open yourself to someone else, you'll feel better," she added, getting out of the room.

After she left the room, Eber, Leila and Neil came back. They found Adam on his bed, his head into his hands. They didn't know what happened, but they didn't ask any question. They knew the singer wouldn't say anything.

* * *

After the incident with Dr. Spencer, Adam was shutting himself up. He wasn't talking to anyone, except when someone was asking him a simple question. His parents were worried and asked to the psychologist if she could give them some advices. She told them that their son's reaction was normal; he needed to find himself first, before opening himself to others. She said that he needed time, and they had to accept that. She told them to show him that they were there for him and that they loved him.

At the end of the afternoon of the third day, Dr. Davis decided that Adam could leave and go home. He told him to take it easy for a few weeks and to go see his doctor if he was not feeling well. He gave him a bottle of pain killers and another one of sleeping pills.

Adam was glad to finally leave the hospital and to get home. But he was a few thousand miles away from LA. First, he didn't want to take the plane; he didn't want to face the public. He knew some people at the airport or on the same flight would recognise him and he was not ready for that yet. But, they were too far away from LA to take a car. So, Adam finally accepted to take a plane, but he wanted as much security as possible. So Eber called Miller to ask for his help.

Agent Miller and his team settled up everything so Adam could take his flight without being too noticeable. A few persons recognised him, but the singer didn't stop to talk or to look at them. During the flight, Adam stayed silent almost all the time. He slept during almost the entire time, and when he was awake he was keeping his earphones on. When they landed and drove to his mother's house, Adam was still silent. He sat on the back seat of the car and leaned his head on the window or on the seat and kept his eyes closed almost all the time, even if he was not sleeping.

Adam had talked to his parents about wanting to go to his house. But, they convinced him to spend a few days at his mother's, so he wouldn't be alone if something went wrong. He knew his mother loved him, cared about him and was worried, but after less than two days, Adam couldn't stand being there. He was suffocated. She was always around, asking him if he was alright, always trying to touch him, to hug him; it was just too much for him. So, the third day, he told her that he wanted to go to his place. She wasn't happy about it, but knew that she didn't really have a choice. So she let him go, telling him to call if he needed anything.

Since the hospital, Adam was just hoping to be alone. But after a few hours in his house, he found out that it was more difficult than he thought to only be by himself. He thought that he just needed to get used to it. So he took a shower, cooked some pasta for diner, watched a movie, took another shower and went to bed. He took his pills and lay down under the covers. He was really tired, so after a few minutes he fell asleep.

It didn't take long before Adam started to dream. In the beginning, the dream was harmless; he was at the hospital and after, in the plane. But the dream changed quickly. He was trapped in a cold room. He was screaming for help, but when the door opened, two men came in and chained him to the wall. They beat him up and left him almost unconscious. Another man came later and began to undress him, telling him that he wanted to fuck him. When the man was beginning to thrust his cock inside of him, Adam woke up.

He was shaking and was feeling dizzy. He realized he was covered with sweat. He was really scared. He stood up and went to the bathroom. He turned the shower on and after a few seconds, he ran to the toilet where he threw up. He was really not feeling good. He took a shower quickly, washing himself so hard with the washcloth that it was leaving marks on his skin. After he got out of the shower and dried his body, he came back to his room. He put a clean pair of black pyjama pants on, laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. He felt like there was someone next to him, touching him lightly. He rolled on his back to look behind him; he was alone. He closed his eyes again and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. After a few seconds, he felt like a breath near his ear and heard a man's voice whispering to him. He opened his eyes and sat up suddenly. He was going crazy. He was scared to lose the control of himself. He thought that maybe it was not a good idea to stay alone; it was too soon. But it was in the middle of the night, he had to wait until the morning to call someone. After about 30 minutes, he was not doing better. He couldn't sleep, he was shaking and his head was spinning. He couldn't take it anymore, so he grabbed his phone from the nightstand and called the first person he had in mind.

"Hello..." answered a sleepy voice after a few rings.

"Tommy...I'm sorry...I know it's late..." Adam said, panicked.

"Adam? What's going on? Are you ok?" Tommy asked, worried and suddenly totally awake.

"No...I'm...Well...Yea, I'm fine...but..." Adam was completely lost. He didn't know why he had called his friend exactly, and he didn't know what to say. "I'm just freaking out...I don't know why...I'm alone and..."

"Adam, do you want me to come?" he asked, hoping he would say 'yes'.

"If you don't mind..."

"I'll be there in 30 minutes."

Tommy got out of the bed quickly and dressed with the first clothes he found on the floor, a pair of dark grey jeans and a black shirt. He took his phone, his keys and walked outside to his car. Like he said to Adam, he was there about 30 minutes later.

When he arrived at the door, he found out that it was unlocked, so he entered. Inside, all the lights were off except a pale glow upstairs. So Tommy guessed that Adam was in his room. He climbed the stairs and headed to his friend's bedroom. He glanced inside the room, but he didn't see Adam.

"Adam!" the blond man asked, looking around.

When he was going to get out of the room to look somewhere else, he heard a faint sob. He walked slowly in the direction of the sound and found Adam curled up in a ball on the floor, in the corner of his room. He got closer and knelt next to his friend. Adam was shaking and sobbing.

"Oh my god, Adam..." he murmured gently. Neil had told him about Adam not being comfortable when someone was touching him, so Tommy kept a small distance between them. "Shhhh...it's ok, babyboy...I'm here...You're not alone anymore," he added, sitting on the floor. Seeing his best friend like that broke his heart. He didn't know what to do to help him. So he just stayed there, for the rest of the night, murmuring comforting words until Adam fell asleep from exhaustion on the floor.

* * *

*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****


	13. Chapter 13

**WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

**Chapter 13**

When Adam woke up, he found himself lying on the floor between his bed and the wall, his body covered by a blanket. He stretched a little and looked around. He was surprised to find Tommy asleep a few inches away from him, also covered by another blanket and his head resting on a pillow. He was suddenly really ashamed. He shouldn't have called Tommy, and he shouldn't have behaved like he wasn't able to take care of himself. Now, everyone would be worried about him, and they would think that he couldn't be left alone; they would be around him even more now. After a few minutes, he got out of his thoughts and decided to go take a shower.

Tommy opened his eyes when he heard noises coming from the bathroom. When he noticed that Adam was gone, he stood up and glanced at the clock, 10:12 am. He felt like he had only one hour of sleep, and his body was sore from sleeping on the hard floor. He was wondering how Adam was feeling this morning, and how he was going to talk to him about what happened during the night. While waiting for his friend, he decided to go downstairs and see if there was something to eat in the kitchen. When he opened the fridge, he found eggs, strawberries and maple syrup. So he decided to cook some pancakes; he knew that Adam loved pancakes.

When Adam got out of the shower, he noticed that Tommy wasn't there anymore. After a few seconds he heard him in the kitchen. Choosing what clothes to wear, he stood naked in front of the mirror and glanced at his reflection. He still had some bruises, and he could see that he had some scratches all over his body again from scrubbing so hard with the washcloth. He looked at his face, at his eyes and wasn't able to recognized himself. Smelling the odour of food, he turned around with a sigh and dressed with a pair of blue jeans, a black t-shirt and a dark blue hoody. Barefoot, he headed down to join Tommy in the kitchen.

As soon as he saw the blond man, he froze. It was the first time he was really seeing Tommy since the night he had been kidnapped. They had talked on the phone a few times while he was at his mother's, but seeing him now made him uncomfortable. He wanted to hug him, to keep him as close to him as possible, but he also wanted to run away from him, to keep him from seeing how fucked up he was right now, even if his friend had probably already figured that out after last night. He was thinking about how stupid and crazy he might have appeared when Tommy came a few hours ago while the blond man turned around, looked at Adam and smiled.

"Hey Adam, good morning!" Tommy said, pouring some hot water into a mug. "How do you feel? Are you hungry?" he added, trying to act as normal as possible. He didn't want to push Adam away from him; he wanted to let him come to him instead. He guessed that if he was asking him questions about last night, his friend would probably shut himself up.

"Good morning, Tommy," Adam said, shyly. He lowered his head, not able to look at his friend. "Hum…I'm feeling better…thanks…and yea…I'm hungry," he added, still looking at his feet. He stayed stil, at the entrance of the kitchen, not knowing what to do or what to say.

"I'm cooking strawberry pancakes," Tommy said when he noticed Adam's discomfort. He just wanted to make everything as easy as possible for him. "Take a chair; it will be ready in 5 minutes," he added, going back to the stove, turning his back to his friend.

Adam took a deep breath and went to sit at the table. He had to calm himself, it was just Tommy; everything had always been easy with him. After a few minutes, the blond man walked toward him, carrying two plates. He put them down on the table and went back in the kitchen. He came back a minute later with two steamy mugs that he put down on the table, too.

"There, I made you some tea, and I poured some honey in it," he said, handing the mug to Adam. "Just like you love it!"

The taller man smiled lightly and took it. He picked up his fork and grabbed a piece of the pancake. Just before he slid it in his mouth, he stopped. He dropped his fork and closed his eyes. He was suddenly feeling really warm, and he was sweating. So he took his hoody off and dropped it on the chair next to him. Laying his elbows on the table, he took his head in his hands and started to breathe deeply.

"Adam! Are you ok?" Tommy asked, worried.

Adam suddenly remembered that he was not alone. Raising his head, he looked quickly at Tommy. He was surprised to notice that his friend's face and expression were showing worry and wondering. First, he thought that he would see pity and despondency, but he saw nothing like that. As soon as he realised that, he was feeling more comfortable with Tommy's presence.

"Yea, I'm fine…Don't worry," he assured, playing with his fork absently. "It's just…Paul cooked pancakes for me, too…and…he drugged my tea…" he added, lowering his head, surprised that he could talk about one of his captors so easily.

"Paul? Who's Paul?" Tommy asked, having never heard of that guy, but worried about the drug part of the information. Neil had summarized to him what the doctor and agent Miller had told him, but he guessed there were a lot of things he didn't know about what exactly happened to Adam during that week.

"No one…just bad memories…" Adam answered, before taking back the piece of pancake he had left and sliding it in his mouth. "Mmmm…it's good, Tommy…"

"Thanks," the blond man said, smiling. But his smile faded the moment his eyes caught Adam's wrists. They were not swollen anymore, but the red marks around them were still visible. He decided to look somewhere else before Adam noticed that he was staring.

* * *

After breakfast, Tommy was in the shower when Leila called. She was still really worried and was asking a lot of questions to Adam. When he told her that Tommy was with him, she seemed to be happy; at least her son wasn't alone. When the singer hung up, he thought that it would be great if Tommy would agree to stay with him for a few days. But, he didn't know how to ask him without looking too desperate. He decided to wait for the good time.

When Tommy was done with the shower, they had to decide what to do. Adams was not in the mood to go out so they decided to watch a movie. When the movie was over, Tommy wanted to look at his emails. He also took a look at his feeds on Twitter. A lot of them were about Adam.

"Adam, did you go on Twitter since the hospital?" he asked, looking at his friend, who was looking for something interesting to watch on TV.

"No, I didn't…Actually, I didn't go on Twitter since the last show," he answered absently after a minute, lost in his thoughts.

"You should take a look, you know," Tommy began, carefully. "You should see what people are saying about you…they missed you…we missed you…" he added, keeping his eyes on Adam's face. He wanted to touch him, just strok his shoulder or something, but he didn't know how the singer would react, so he resisted.

"I don't know…I mean…I didn't really think about going on the net lately…" Adam explained, still looking at the TV. "But…can you read me some of them?" he finally asked after a few seconds.

"Yea, of course I can!" Tommy exclaimed, happily. "Just a second, let me go on your page…"

It was true that Adam didn't think about going on Twitter or on Facebook, or even look at his emails. He was so trapped in his personal hell that it was difficult for him to think about something else. But, when Tommy asked about it, he was suddenly interested. He didn't want to look at it himself, he was scared to see some mean comments, but if the blond man was reading it for him, he knew that Tommy wouldn't read the messages coming from haters.

"Ok, there we go…Do you want me to read the ones sent when you were missing or the ones sent since you're back with us?" Tommy asked with caution, expecting some kind of a bad reaction from Adam. He didn't know how far he could go when he was talking about Adam's kidnapping, and he was worried about going too far and hurting his friend.

"I don't know…It doesn't matter," the singer answered, turning off the TV and shifting on the couch to face Tommy. He was very curious about what his fans and friends had to say, and it surprised him. "Read the ones you want…I'm listening."

"Ok…Hummm…First one: it was from Jake Shears: Adam, we missed you so much. Please come back to us soon…There is one from a fan, adamfreak: Where ever you are, we are sending you a whole lot of love to help you get through this…Oh, there's one from Paula Abdul: Adam, stay strong, you are in my thoughts, and I'm sending you my love!..."

Tommy kept going like that for about 30 minutes, sometimes waiting between two tweets to let the good thoughts and all the love soak into Adam. When he was done, the singer leaned his head against the couch and closed his eyes.

"Adam, are you ok?" Tommy asked, not knowing if his friend's silence was a good or a bad thing.

"Yea, I'm fine," Adam said, looking at the blond man. "It's just that it feels really good to know that so many people thought about me when I was there," he added, smiling lightly.

After a few minutes, at Tommy's surprise, the singer excused himself and went to the bathroom to take a shower. The blond man didn't say anything, but was wondering what his friend had in his mind to make him think he needed to shower so often.

* * *

They spent the rest of the day chatting about their friends, watching TV, and Adam finally decided to take a look at his emails and stuff. He also received a few calls from his friends who wanted to know how he was holding up. When diner time arrived, the singer proposed to cook burritos which made Tommy happy. They were sitting at the kitchen table eating and drinking beer in silence.

"Tommy…" Adam began, nervously. "I would like to ask you something…"

"Go ahead…you know that you can ask me anything," Tommy said, his mouth full.

"Well…humm…You know, that house is very big and…well…"

"You want me to stay with you for a few days…" Tommy said, looking playfully at his friend and smiling.

"How did you know?" Adam asked, surprised.

"Adam, I know you so well. I understand you even when you don't say anything," the bassist assured, taking a bite in his burritos. "Oh…and the answer is yes…I'll stay with you until you don't need me to."

* * *

After diner, Tommy had to go to his apartment to pick some of his stuff. He asked Adam if he wanted to come with him. At first, he didn't want to, but when the blond man told him that it won't be too long and that will probably be good for him to get out of the house for an hour, he finally agreed to go with him.

When they got back at Adam's place, Tommy asked the singer if he wanted to jam with him, playing guitar or singing while he was playing. But Adam said he didn't want to, he wasn't in the mood for that these days. When the blond man suggested that maybe it could help him feel better, Adam got suddenly very angry.

"What make you think I'm not ok?" the taller man asked, moving away from his friend. "I was wrong about you…You are just like my mom, you think I need to get fixed or something…"

"Adam…I don't think like that…But it's obvious that you are not fine," Tommy said, calmly.

"I'm fine…just stop worrying about me…"

"I'm sorry, but you are lying to me and to yourself," the bassist began, carefully. "I just spent the last day with you, and what I saw gave me a good clue about the fact that something's wrong. I can't go close to you without seeing you tensed. You don't want to be touch, you are taking to many showers, you don't want to hear about music anymore and sometimes your reactions are freaking me out, like last night for example…" he added, knowing that he probably just went too far.

"You don't know anything," Adam hissed, heading toward the stairs.

"So tell me…I just want to understand what is happening…I want to understand you," Tommy said, walking closer to Adam.

"Believe me, you don't want to know…" the singer said, climbing the stairs quickly before slamming the door of his bedroom.

"Shit!" Tommy murmured to himself, sitting on the stairs and taking his head in his hands. It went worse than he thought. He didn't want to hurt his friend, but he couldn't just act like everything was normal; it wasn't, Adam wasn't. After a few minutes, when he heard no more sounds coming from Adam's room, he got to the guestroom and settled in for the night.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Tommy was woken up by a scream coming from Adam's bedroom. After a few seconds, he heard footsteps and sounds in the bathroom. Worried, he stood up and went to see what was going on. When he arrived in front of the bathroom, he heard the shower and something else. He listened carefully, and he found out that it was Adam; he was crying.

So he decided to sit on the stairs and wait for Adam. When the singer opened the door and got out of the bathroom, he was startled when he saw a blond figure walking toward him.

"Shit, Tommy…Don't do that to me again…"Adam said, heading to his bedroom.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," the smaller man began, following the singer. "Adam, are you ok?" he asked, sitting at the end of the bed.

"Yea, I'm fine," Adam answered impatiently, turning his back to his friend.

"Are you sure?" Tommy asked again, with caution.

"No…" Adam whispered about a minute later. He sat at the edge of the bed and lowered his head.

Tommy moved from where he was to sit next to his friend. Without thinking, he slid his arm around Adam's shoulders. As soon as he felt the arm touching him, the singer moved away quickly.

"Don't…just don't…"Adam warned, raising his hands in defense.

"It's ok, Adam, I won't touch you," Tommy assured, giving some space to his friend. "But, is there something that I can do?" he asked, calmly.

"Yea, maybe…" the singer murmured after a few seconds. "Do you mind staying here, with me, for the rest of the night? I don't want to be alone…" The last part of his sentence was barely audible, but loud enough for Tommy to hear it.

"Of course, I'm going to stay with you," the blond man said, sliding under the sheet. "Come on, you need to get some sleep."

Adam nodded and laid down on the other side of the bed. They were both lying on their backs, fixed on the ceiling for about an hour, before they finally fell asleep.

* * *

When Tommy woke up the day after, he was still very tired; he didn't get a lot of sleep. He was woken up by Adam all night who seemed to have nightmares for hours. He was shifting in his sleep, screaming, whining, sobbing and shaking until he woke up in the morning. So Tommy guessed that he was probably really tired, too. He wasn't surprised to hear the shower on when he walked in front of the bathroom. Sighing, he got down in the kitchen and made some coffee.

They spent a part of the day watching TV and playing with Tommy's video games. They didn't talk about the night before, when Adam had snapped at him. Tommy wanted to discuss it, but he didn't want to face an angry Adam again. Just before diner, Monte passed by to see how the singer was doing. It was really awkward because the taller man stayed silent during almost all the time the guitarist was there. He didn't know what to say, so he was just listening to the conversation going on between Monte and Tommy. When they started talking about music and about the tour, Adam excused himself and went upstairs, leaving the musicians confused.

"How is he doing?" Monte asked when he was sure that Adam was upstairs.

"Not really good," Tommy answered in a sigh. "I'm sure he's taking a shower right now. He showers about 4 or 5 times a day. Like you probably noticed, he doesn't want anyone too close to him. He doesn't want to be touched, he doesn't want to hear about music…I didn't hear him singing or even humming in the last two days," he explained, despondent. "I don't know what to do to help him."

"I didn't know it was that bad," Monte said, shaking his head. "Did he say something about his kidnapping and what happened back there?"

"Not really, he's always trying to avoid the subject."

"He probably needs more than our help right now. He needs to see a professional," the older man began, keeping an eye on the stairs. "But he needs to understand that by himself, we can't force him."

"Yea, you're right. But I hope he will understand that soon, before he destroys himself," Tommy said, leaning against the couch and giving a worried look to Monte.

After Monte left, Adam and Tommy cooked some pasta for diner. When they were done, they watched movies. They both fell asleep on the couch during the second one. The smaller man woke up around 1:00 am because he needed to go to the bathroom. When he came back in the living room, Adam was speaking in his sleep.

"No, please don't…mmm…it hurts…please…stop….please," the singer was begging and sobbing for a few minutes when Tommy decided to wake him up.

"Adam…Adam wake up…Adam…" the blond man demanded, shaking his friend lightly.

After a few seconds, the singer opened his eyes and looked at Tommy, panicked. He glanced around to help him remember where he was and sat up on the couch. To the blond man's surprise, Adam didn't move away from him or even push his hands away either.

"Adam, I think we should go finish the night in bed," Tommy proposed, standing up.

The singer nodded, and they both went upstairs where they laid down in Adam's bed. It didn't take long before they fell back asleep.

* * *

Adam was cuffed to the bed and Paul was on top of him. The older man was really angry again and was yelling at the singer. "You're mine and you are going to do everything I want. Look at you, you are just a slut. I know you like everything I'm doing to you," Paul said, trying to spread Adam's legs further apart. When the younger man didn't cooperate, Paul started to strangle him. Adam struggled, but with his hands tied up, he couldn't push the other man away from him. "Stop fighting me, bitch, I'm going to fuck you just like you love it, whether you want it or not." The singer couldn't breathe anymore, he was sure he was going to die. "Paul...Please," Adam managed to say in his last breath.

Suddenly, Adam opened his eyes. He was on his back in his bedroom. He looked around and saw Tommy deeply asleep next to him. He glanced at the clock, 7:36 am. He noticed that he was covered in sweat. He felt really dirty. So he stood up and walked to the bathroom. He closed the door carefully behind him and turned the shower on. Even with the feeling of the hot water on his skin, he was still feeling the touches of Paul, like he was in the shower with him. He started to wash himself with the washcloth, rubbing as hard as possible, to erase the feeling of Paul on him. When he was done, he took a towel and wrapped it around his waist. When he walked in front of the mirror, he stopped and glanced at his reflection. His upper body was red from the hot water and the hard rubbing. He noticed that the marks around his wrists were still visible. He looked at his face. As soon as he saw his beautiful blue eyes, his perfect freckled lips, his well-shaped jaw; he hated himself. He got very angry and started to throw everything on the floor; the hand soap, the decorating items of the bathroom, his makeup. But he didn't feel better. So he began to punch his reflection in the mirror, breaking the mirror in pieces and hurting his fist in the process.

Tommy woke up suddenly when he heard loud noises coming from the bathroom. He could hear things dropping on the floor and Adam screaming. He stood up quickly and ran to the bathroom. When he opened the unlocked door he was in shock. The floor was a mess; it was covered with pieces of glass, shampoo, makeup items and other unknown stuff, and the mirror was broken. But what terrorized him the most was Adam. He was on the floor, his back against the bathtub, his hands and face covered with blood. He was shaking and crying.

Tommy found a clean towel and knelt down next to his friend. Putting a finger under his chin, he raised Adam head. He wanted to be sure that the singer knew he was there, and it was just him.

"Adam, it's me," he said, trying to stay as calm as possible. "Everything is going to be ok, alright!" he added, trying to figure out where the blood was coming from.

To Tommy's surprise, Adam leaned against him and put his head on his shoulder. Tommy wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him as close as possible. The bassist kissed his friend's forehead and felt tears running down his own cheeks. Yes, he wanted to help Adam, but it was beginning to be too tough for him. He had to convince the singer to talk about what happened and to accept help from someone else.

* * *

*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****


	14. Chapter 14

**WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

**Chapter 14**

After Adam had calmed himself, Tommy helped him clean his face and his hands to find out how badly he was injured. He had several cuts on his hands, but fortunately, none of them were deep, so he didn't need stitches. When they were done, Tommy convinced Adam to take sleeping pills and to go back to bed even if it was already the morning. The singer accepted, but only if the blond man was staying with him until he fell asleep. Of course, Tommy agreed.

"Do you need anything else?" the bassist asked, looking at Adam who was laying down on the bed and pulling the sheets over him.

"Well…I know that I pushed you away in the last days…but…I think I would feel better if you laid down next to me," the taller man said, shyly, lowering his head.

"Of course," Tommy answered, smiling. He settled in the bed next to his friend, on his side, facing him.

The blond man was really surprised when Adam got closer and cuddled next to him. Tommy wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. He could feel that his friend was still shaking a little, but he was slowly relaxing in his arms. He was wondering what happened in the bathroom to make the singer react like that.

"Adam, what happened? Why did you break the mirror and all the other stuff?" he asked, carefully, knowing that he was on a dangerous ground.

As soon as he finished his sentence, he felt the singer tense. So he guessed he wouldn't have answered.

"I couldn't see myself anymore…" Adam murmured, after a few minutes. "What happened was all my fault…the kidnapping and what they did to me…it's all because of me…" he added, sniffing.

"What are you talking about?" Tommy asked, raising his friend's head to make him look at him. "You don't really believe that these men hurt you because of something you did…"

"Yea, it's exactly what I think…" the singer said, with a weak voice. He was starting to feel the effects of the pills.

"Adam, you are totally wrong about that," the blond man assured, noticing that his friend was slowly falling asleep. "You don't have to feel guilty about this, nothing is your fault," he added, lowering his voice.

Adam didn't say anything after this, he was already asleep.

* * *

When Tommy was sure that Adam was sleeping, he moved carefully away from him and got out of the room. He showered, and he cleaned the bathroom. When he was done, he headed downstairs, made some coffee and sat on the couch in the living room. That time spent alone made him realise that he needed to talk to someone. What he had felt when he entered the bathroom a few hours ago and found Adam covered with blood was really painful. He was worried, and scared. "What is it going to happen next? What if the next time he freaks out he injures himself badly?" He couldn't take it anymore, he needed to call someone. First, he called Monte, but when the voicemail answered, he remembered that the guitarist was supposed to go to the zoo today with his kids and his wife. So he decided to call Sutan. The makeup artist always knew what to say or what to do.

After several ringtones, just before Tommy decided to hang up, someone answered the phone.

"Yea…" Sutan was obviously asleep, and the blond man had woken him up.

"Sutan, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to wake you up…" Tommy apologized, thinking he should have waited a little longer before calling him.

"I just had a busy night, you know what I'm saying…" Sutan said, giggling. "I came back home this morning," he added, yawning. "But it's really early for you, too, Tommy. What's going on?"

"Well…I need to talk to someone…but I can call you later if you prefer…"

"No honey, I'm awake now," the artist said, sitting up in his bed. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Humm…well…I know I shouldn't tell you anything, because he trusts me…But…I can't keep that to myself," Tommy hesitated, wondering how Adam would react if he knew he was talking about what happened. "It's Adam, he's really not going well, and I don't know what to do…"

Tommy and Sutan talked for about an hour. The makeup artist suggested that Adam's nightmares were probably worst because he was keeping all his thoughts, all his feelings and all his fears to himself. He thought that during the night the bad memories were coming back to haunt Adam's subconscious. So, he needed to drain these bad thoughts by talking about them, by getting them out of his head. Tommy thought that he was probably right, but he didn't know how convinced the singer to open up. Sutan wanted to come to see them tonight and asked the bass player if he agreed with the idea. Tommy thought it was a good idea, but wanted to ask Adam first, to be sure, thinking back about how bad it had been when Monte came. Sutan suggested to call him back later during the afternoon.

* * *

Adam woke up in the middle of the afternoon. He didn't remember having dreamed about something, and he felt more rested. He went to the bathroom and remembered what happened a few hours ago. He noticed that the floor was cleaned, and the broken mirror was gone. He decided to take a quick shower and whined in pain when he felt the hot water run down his wounded hands. When he was done, he dressed with a pair of sweat black pants and a grey t-shirt. He went downstairs to the kitchen to have something to drink. He poured orange juice in a glass and walked into the living room. Tommy was on the couch, his back to him and was reading a magazine.

"Hey, Tommy!" Adam said, walking toward the couch and sitting down next to his friend.

"Adam…How are you? Do you feel any better?" Tommy asked, putting down the magazine on the table in front of him and turning to face the singer.

"Yea, I'm fine...thanks…" The taller man was keeping his head down, looking at his glass. "Hum…Tommy…I'm sorry…for what happened in the bathroom…I don't know why I lost it…it won't happen again…I'm really sorry…" he added, before swallowing a big gulp of his juice.

"Don't worry, and you don't have to be sorry about that," the bass player assured, looking at his friend. He had to talk to Adam, to tell him that he really needed help, but he was scared of his reaction. "Adam…We need to talk," he began, nervously, after a few minutes. "I want you to know that I'm your friend, and I want to help you…But, you need more help than I can give you…"

At these words, Adam stood up suddenly, got out of the living room and went in the kitchen. Tommy followed him quickly not letting him get away.

"Adam, wait...please," he said, standing in the doorway, keeping the singer inside the kitchen. "What happened this morning will happen again if you don't talk about what happened and if you don't let a professional help you."

"Tommy, get out of the way," Adam demanded, impatient, after putting the glass in the sink.

"Adam, please listen to me," the blond man said, calmly, not moving away from the door. "You are not as fine as you keep saying…These bad memories, you need to get them out…I'm sure you are going feel better if you open up to someone…It doesn't have to be me, Adam…but please, don't let them destroy you…"

"It's too late for that…" the singer hissed, losing control of himself. He was very upset. "Tommy, move!"

"Adam…I just want to help y…"

"I said 'MOVE'" Adam ordered, angrily.

Tommy stepped out of the way when he saw that his friend was not himself, and that he probably needed to be alone to calm down.

"Adam…" the bassist said, concerned when the taller man started to climb the stairs. "You can do what you want…but keep in mind that I love you…and I care about you…" he added, staying downstairs.

The singer stopped just before his room and glanced quickly at the blond man before walking in and closing the door behind him.

* * *

Adam spent the rest of day in his room. During the evening, Tommy decided to prepare something to eat for him. The singer didn't eat anything during the whole day, and he thought that he was probably starving. He knew him so well, that he was sure that his friend was feeling too guilty about their fight to come downstairs to eat something. He made him a sandwich and poured vegetables juice in a glass. He went upstairs and knocked at Adam's bedroom. He heard movement, a few footsteps and a sigh. After a minute, the door opened slowly, and he saw his friend leaning against the doorframe.

"Tommy, I…"

"No, Adam…Wait," the bass player said, before letting the singer add another word. "I know you're having a hard time right now…I'm sorry if I'm pushing you too much…I'm just worried… but I won't talk about it anymore…Well, at least for tonight," he added, smiling. "I'm sure you're hungry…I made you a sandwich," he said again, when he saw Adam fixed on the plate.

"Come on in," the singer proposed, walking toward his bed and sitting down, his back against the headboard.

Tommy followed him and set the plate and the glass on the nightstand. He sat on the bed in front of Adam and looked at him. He noticed that the singer was keeping his head down, not daring to look at him. He also noticed that his eyes seemed to be red and swollen, signs that he had cried a lot, again. The singer grabbed the plate and bit into the sandwich. He ate and drank without saying a word, Tommy didn't say anything either. The bassist started to wonder if Adam was mad at him. After a few more silent minutes, he decided to start the conversation.

"Look Adam…If you don't want me around anymore, you can tell me…"

"No…Tommy…I want you here, with me…I'm sorry if I'm not able to show you how grateful I am to have you here…" the singer began, looking finally at his friend. "I…I don't really understand myself…" he added, searching his words. "I'm really sorry for my behaviour…if you want to leave, I would understand…"

"I'm not gonna leave, Adam. I'm gonna stay as long as you want me to…" Tommy assured, smiling. "But the next time something is wrong, could you just tell me instead of running away from me or breaking a mirror?" he asked, hoping not to sound too serious.

"Ok…I'm gonna try…I'm sorry about that…"Adam said, standing up. "I need to take a shower…I know, I know…but I need it…" he added, shyly, when he saw Tommy's reaction at the word 'shower'. "I'll be back in 5 minutes…" He took a pair of dark red pajama pants in a drawer and got out of the room.

Tommy grabbed the remote control of the TV and moved to lean his back against the headboard. After a few minutes, he felt vibrations in his pants and remembered that his cellphone was in his back pocket. He picked it up quickly to answer.

"Hello."

"Tommy, it's Sutan…everything is alright?" the makeup artist asked, concerned.

"Yea, everything is fine…Oh…I'm sorry, I forgot to call you back," Tommy apologized. "I had a fight with Adam again, and I forgot about you…"

"Don't worry, I just wanted to be sure you were both fine," Sutan assured, calmly. He was not the kind of person to become upset easily. "So I guess, I'm not going to pass by tonight…What about tomorrow?"

"I didn't ask Adam yet. But he's going to be out of the shower in a minute," he explained, before hearing footsteps. "He's coming, can you hold a second?"

"Yea, no problem…"

"Adam, Sutan would like to come spend some time with us tomorrow…if it's ok for you of course…" Tommy said when the singer entered the bedroom.

"Yea, no problem," Adam answered, absently, sitting on the bed next to the blond man.

"Sutan, you can come tomorrow if you want, but not too early, please," Tommy said, laughing.

"Yea, don't worry…See ya tomorrow! Good night!"

"Yea, good night!" The blond man hung up and put down the phone on the nightstand. "Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked Adam, who was already under the covers.

"Ok," the singer said, yawning.

They chose a movie from Adam's dvd collection and settled in the singer's bed. After about an hour, Adam was already asleep, his head on Tommy's lap. At the end of the movie, Tommy shifted carefully and laid down next to his friend. It didn't take long before he fell asleep, too.

* * *

When Tommy woke up in the morning, he was still tired. Adam had a lot of nightmares during the night, so he wasn't able to sleep. He kept his arms around the singer almost all the time, murmuring comforting words to help him to calm down. Around 3:00 am, Tommy convinced Adam to take the sleeping pills; they both needed to rest. So the second part of the night was calmer, but the bassist wasn't able to fall deeply asleep. He thought that he would have to take a power nap later to feel better. He was really hungry, so he stood up carefully to not wake up Adam and went to the bathroom. He showered quickly and went downstairs to prepare breakfast. He ate eggs with bacon while watching TV. Sutan arrived around 11:00 am. He was shining as usual and was happy to see Tommy.

"Where's Adam?" he asked, sitting on the couch.

"He's still in bed. He took sleeping pills; he will probably be awake in an hour or two," the bass player explained turning off the TV.

"My god, Tommy, you look like hell!"

"I'm just so fucking tired…Adam doesn't sleep well, so I don't either," Tommy said, yawning. "He's having so many nightmares, and he doesn't want to be alone…"

"You should get some rest, you know…" Sutan began. "Why don't you take a break today? Go to your place and take it easy…I will stay with Adam," he proposed, stroking the blond man's shoulder.

"I don't know…what is he gonna say?" Tommy wondered, biting at his bottom lip.

"Don't worry about that honey…I'll take care of it…and of him," Sutan added, smiling.

After about 30 minutes, Tommy accepted Sutan's proposition and left the house. He made him promise to call him if something was going wrong. When the bassist was gone, the makeup artist took the remote control and turned on the TV; his favourite TV show was on.

About an hour later, Adam woke up, showered and went downstairs. He walked in the living and found Sutan on the couch, but no sign of his bassist.

"Hey, Sutan!" Adam said, looking around. "Where is Tommy?"

"He's gone for the day," the makeup artist said, standing up and walking closer to the singer. "I'm really happy to see you, you know," he added, taking him in his arms. As soon as he touched Adam, he felt him tensed, but, instead of letting him go, he pulled him closer, stroking his back. "It's alright, honey, it's just me," he murmured to his ear. It took a few minutes before the singer relaxed in his friend's arms and leaned his head on his shoulder. When he was sure that Adam was calm, he let him go.

"Are you hungry? I'm gonna cook something...if you want to join me…"Adam said, heading toward the kitchen, glad to be out of Sutan's arms.

"Yea, of course," Sutan said, following his friend.

After Adam had cooked an omelette with vegetables, they sat at the table and began to eat in silence.

"So, how are you doing, Adam?" Sutan asked when his plate was empty. "And don't tell me that you are fine…because I'm not buying that…" he added, glancing at the singer who tensed as soon as he finished his sentence.

"You seem to know a lot about it…so why don't you tell me?" Adam asked, sounding upset.

"I want to hear it from you…because I want to know how you really feel Adam," Sutan said, knowing he was pushing on the singer's button.

"I have nothing to say…" Adam hissed, standing up.

"Oh no, honey, you're not going anywhere," the makeup artist assured, standing up and walking in front of Adam. "Sit down, now," he added, pointing at the chair.

At these words, Adam froze. It was the first time someone was giving him orders since he left Paul's place. He knew that Sutan wasn't going to hurt him if he didn't do what he told him, but he felt like he had to obey. So, lowering his head, he sat back on the chair. His friend sat back in front of him.

"Look Adam, I know it's not easy for you right now and I know that you won't like what I'm gonna say," Sutan began, calmly, looking at the singer who was still looking down. "But I want you to listen to me carefully and to be honest with me…and with you…Can you do that?"

"Yea…whatever," Adam hissed, looking angrily at him.

"First of all, I don't want to know what happened back there…I know a part of it, and I don't want to learn more about it; I heard enough already. Well, actually, I don't know anyone who loves you, who cares about you, who would like to know what these bastards did to you and how they hurt you," he began, keeping his eyes on the singer's face. "But, we all know that you can't keep that for yourself, because it's just going to get worst. So, we are here for you if you need to talk about it, even if it's going to be really painful for us to know how badly you suffered back there…"

"But…I…"

"Let me finish, please," Sutan demanded, raising his hand to stop Adam form interrupting him. "It's already hard for us to see you in pain…I didn't need Tommy to tell me that you freaked out a few times since you were here to know that you're not fine…I have been here for about an hour, and I already noticed that you're not yourself and that you are suffering," he added, seeing Adam falling slowly apart in front of him. "But, we don't care about how we feel, because you're the one who matters right now. We want you to feel better, Adam. We want to see you happy again, to see you smile, to see you laugh….to see you sing. But we know that it's not going to be easy, because it's going to be so hard for you to get through this. But like I said, we don't care; we want to be there, for you, to help you…Tell me Adam…how do you think you would react if Tommy was the one who had been kidnapped and hurt?" Sutan asked, knowing he was getting through to his friend just by the look on his face.

"I don't know…I guess I would be really upset…and worried about him," the singer answered, weakly after a few seconds. He was beginning to shake lightly and could feel tears filling up his eyes.

"And how do you think Tommy is feeling right now?" Sutan asked again, standing up and walking closer to Adam. "Do you know how painful is it for him to see you suffering? Can you imagine how hard is it for him to not be able to know what to say or what to do because he doesn't know what is going on in your head?" he asked again, raising his eyebrows.

At these words, Adam fell apart. He leaned his head in his hands and started to cry. Sutan got closer and wrapped his arms around him. At first, Adam tensed, but he relaxed after a few minutes. The makeup artist could feel the singer shaking in his arms and pulled him closer, giving him a few kisses on the cheek and on the forehead.

"Shhhh…it's ok, honey," Sutan whispered in the singer's ear. "We love you, Adam…we won't let you down…we want to help you…But you have to give us some clues…" he added, stroking small circles on his friend's back.

After a few minutes, Sutan could feel that Adam had calmed himself; he wasn't shaking anymore, and he was just sobbing a little again. By the way the singer was leaning against him, without resisting to the proximity, he knew that he had finally pierced a hole in the shell that Adam had probably began to build when he was back there, in hell.

* * *

*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****


	15. Chapter 15

**WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

**Chapter 15**

When Tommy came back during the evening, Sutan and Adam were in the living room, watching TV. By the way Adam was sitting on his side of the couch, keeping a certain distance between him and the makeup artist, Tommy could guess that something had happened, that something went wrong.

"Hey guys, how are you doing?" he asked, taking off his jacket and sitting in a rocking chair.

"We're fine," Sutan answered, smiling. "How do you feel? Did you get some rest?"

"Yea, I slept the whole afternoon, I guess I was more tired than I thought," the bassist said, glancing at Adam. From where he was, he could have a good look at the singer and noticed that he was avoiding him, like he didn't want to look at him. He was keeping his eyes on the TV and his face was showing no emotion. "What about you Adam, how was your day?" he asked with caution.

"Perfect, thanks," the singer answered, weakly, giving a quick look toward the blond man before looking at the TV again.

Tommy glanced at Sutan giving him the 'What the fuck is wrong with him?' face. The makeup artist looked at him and shook his head, still smiling. So he supposed that it was not as bad as it seemed.

After a few minutes, Sutan stood up and said that he had to go. He took Tommy in a hug and walked behind the couch and hugged Adam, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you, honey," his whispered in his ear.

"Love you too," the singer murmured when Sutan let go of him. "Thank you," he added before his friend disappeared outside, smiling at him and closing the door behind him.

When Sutan was gone, Tommy sat next to the singer on the couch. They watched a documentary about the history of vampires. When it was over, Adam decided to shower and to go to bed. The bassist was already under the sheets when the singer walked in the room. Without a word, Adam swallowed two sleeping pills with a sip of water, put the glass back on the night stand and laid down next to his friend.

"Adam, what's wrong?" Tommy asked, concerned.

"Nothing…Why are you asking?" the black haired man said, still looking away from his friend.

"It seems like you are avoiding me or something. You didn't say a word since Sutan left."

"Sorry about that…I didn't mean to avoid you and to make you worried," Adam began, rolling on his side to face Tommy. "It's just…Sutan made me realized some stuff about me, and…I think I need to focus on me, on how I feel and stuff."

"Ok…Do you want me to leave?"

"No…No, please, stay with me. Just give me a few days, ok? I need to clear my thoughts to know what to do next."

"Ok, as you wish," Tommy said, wondering what Adam had in his head. "Just keep in mind that I'm here, if you need anything…"

"Yea…thanks," the singer murmured, shifting in the bed to lay his head on Tommy's pillow and closing his eyes. "I'm really grateful to have you here, Tommy."

"I'm glad to be here too," the bass player assured, wrapping his arms around his friend and pulling him closer. "Good night, Adam."

"Good night, Tommy."

* * *

Adam was tied up and bent over a bench. Someone was standing behind him and was beating him with a leather whip. He wasn't able to see who it was or if someone else was in the room. The only thing he could see was the floor, and the pool of blood above him that was growing with the pain on his back and the weakness he felt in his entire body. At least, his ass wasn't as painful anymore, probably because the other parts of his body were hurting too much. He knew that the big part of the blood was coming from the hard fucking he just got a few minutes ago. When he began to not be able to stand the pain from the whipping, he heard footsteps coming closer.

"Why are you doing this to him?" an angry voice asked.

"Paul!" Adam said weakly when he recognized Paul's voice.

"Adam!"

"Paul, please…help me" the singer begged, feeling tears filling up his eyes.

"ADAM!"

The singer opened his eyes as soon as he felt hands shaking his shoulders lightly. He found himself in his bed, on his side, face to face with a worried Tommy. He could feel tears running down his cheeks, and he was shaking.

"Adam, it's ok," the bass player assured, stroking circles on Adam's back. "It was just a bad dream. You're safe here, babyboy."

After a few minutes, the singer pulled away from Tommy and laid on his back, sighing. He dried his cheeks with his hand and breathed deeply to calm himself.

"Adam," the bassist began, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. "You talked in your dream and you named someone…Adam…who's Paul?" he asked with caution.

"Paul is the man who wanted me to be kidnapped," Adam said after a moment, sitting up as well, pulling his knees against his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "He paid a lot of money to make that happened."

"What did he do to you?"

"Tommy…I'm sorry, I'm not ready to talk about it yet," Adam explained, standing up. "I need more time," he added, walking out of the bedroom.

After a few minutes, Tommy was not surprised to hear the sound of the shower being turned on.

* * *

The rest of the day and the day after, Tommy found Adam really quiet. He wasn't talking a lot and was spending a lot of time by himself in his bedroom or in his office where he was usually working on his writing and where he kept his computer. Even if the bass player was worried about his friend's behaviour, he remembered that Adam had warned him that he needed to work on himself and that he needed a few days to do it. So, Tommy decided to respect the singer's wishes. To keep himself busy, the blond man spent a lot of time in Adam's music room, always shutting the door before playing; he knew that his friend wasn't ready to hear or talk about music yet. Even if the singer was discreet, Tommy had his lunch and dinner with him, and they were spending the evening together watching movies and falling asleep in Adam's bed.

After these two days, Adam was beginning to be worried about himself. The last three nights, he had dreams where he was begging Paul to help him or where he was calling for him. In these dreams, it felt like he needed to be with Paul, like he was missing him. Adam was disgusted by how he felt; he wasn't able to understand these feelings. He hated that man. It was because of him that he had been taking away from his friends and family, that had been tortured and raped. He couldn't really miss him. So, he realized that he needed to share his thoughts and feelings with someone if he didn't want to become crazy. Since his discussion with Sutan, he had seriously thought about getting some help, but with these dreams, he decided that he really had to do it. He went on the web and found Dr. Spencer's phone number. She had given him her card, but he was so upset when he was at the hospital, that he had thrown the card away. When he found the number, it took him the whole afternoon, sitting alone in his office, before taking the phone in his hand and calling the psychologist.

"Hello, Dr. Anna Spencer speaking."

When Adam heard her voice, he almost hung up. But he knew deep inside that he had to talk to her. So, it took all his courage to be able to say something.

"Hmm…Hi, Dr. Spencer…It's Adam….Hmm…Adam Lambert," he managed to say, his voice shaking a little. "We met about three weeks ago…"

"Hi, Adam," she said, calmly. "Yea, I remember…How are you doing?"

"Well…You know," the singer began, not knowing what to say. "I guess, if I'm calling you it's probably because I'm not doing as fine as I want to…" he added after a moment. It was not easy for him to admit that he needed help.

"I'm glad you did it, Adam. Usually, I don't do this on the phone, but I guess you're in Hollywood."

"Yea, I am. I'm sorry, but I really need to talk to someone, and since you already know a part of what happened, I thought that…maybe…"

"It's ok, Adam. I don't mind if it's what you want. What do you want to talk about?"

During about an hour, Adam explained to the psychologist what he had in his mind, how he was feeling and his worries about his latest dreams. But he wasn't able to tell her what his captors did to him; he wasn't ready yet. Dr. Spencer listened to him, glad that he had finally decided to talk to someone, to reach for help. For his dreams about Paul, she explained to him that he was not crazy; his brain was dealing with what happened the best it could, but the info it was sending to him while he was sleeping was not necessary the reality. His mind just needed to free itself from the bad memories. She told him that she needed to see him, to talk more about all of this. He explained that he didn't want to travel; he was not ready to be seen in public yet. So, he asked her to come to LA and that he would pay for all her expenses. She was not available for a few days, but she told him she would be glad to come visit him the next week.

When Adam hung up, it felt like he had less pressure on his shoulders; he felt lighter. When he got out of his office, he noticed that there was a nice smell of food in the house, making his stomach growl. He took a look at his watch and noticed that it was already dinner time. He walked to the kitchen and found Tommy busy in front of the oven.

"Hey, Tommy," Adam said, leaning against the door frame. "It smells really good."

"Thanks!" the bass player exclaimed, glancing quickly to his friend and looking back at his cooking.

"You know, you don't have to do this…" Adam walked closer to the smaller man. "You are the guest here; I should be the one who cooks for you."

"Naw'…Don't worry…It's keeping me busy," Tommy assured, taking two plates from the cupboard. "And, you can't cook Mexican food as well as I do."

"If you say so…"

When the food was ready, they sat at the table to eat. Tommy had cooked enchiladas and Adam thought it was really good. When they were done, they cleaned the kitchen together and headed upstairs to watch a movie in the singer's bedroom. They both sat on the bed, under the covers, their backs leaned against the headboard. Tommy noticed that there was something different about Adam; he seemed to be more relaxed. He didn't know what happened, but he was glad that his friend felt better. They finished the movie and settled to sleep. After Adam had taken his pills, he cuddled next to Tommy.

"Tommy," the singer began, already half asleep. "I would like to call Monte tomorrow and ask him if he wants to spend some time with us, maybe have dinner with us…" he added between two yawns.

"Yea, it's a good idea. I'm sure he's going to be up to it!"

"Good…I'll call him in the morning…Good night!"

"Good night, Adam!"

* * *

Like he said, Adam called Monte in the morning to ask to come to his place for dinner. Of course, the guitarist agreed; he was more than happy to spend some time with his friends. He suggested bringing beers and pizza. The singer was not fond of fast food, but he knew that Tommy would be more than happy to eat pizza.

It was about 7:00 pm when Monte knocked at the door. Adam let him in and took the beers and the pizza box off his hands and laid them on the table in the living room. There was a special show about rock'n roll, and Tommy had convinced Adam to watch it with them. The singer ate in silence, watching TV and listening to the conversation going on between the two musicians. When the show was over, Adam suddenly realized how badly he missed the music in his life. Since the hospital, he didn't want to think too much about it, linking the music and the kidnapping together. But right now, he needed to have it back in his life, even if he knew it wouldn't be easy. But, if he wanted to make that happen, he knew he had to do something about it. First of all, he had to feel better with what happened. So, it meant that he had to talk about it.

"When they kidnapped me behind the theater that night, I was so scared to die," Adam began suddenly, without thinking twice. "But, when I am thinking about it right now, I wish they would have killed me back there…"

Monte and Tommy froze and looked at each other. They didn't know why the singer had suddenly decided to talk, but they didn't want to disturb the atmosphere. So, they sat still on the couch and waited for what was coming. They were sure they wouldn't like what they would hear, but they knew that their friend had to share with them what he was keeping to himself for weeks.

Adam kept going like that for about half an hour, telling them almost everything that happened to him; how they kidnapped him, the cold room where they kept him, what he saw in the slave farm, the beating he received, the forced blow jobs, the rape by Victor, Paul's place, how Paul treated him, the several times that Paul had raped him and the rescue by agent Miller. All the time, Adam was keeping his eyes on his hands and on the floor. He didn't want to see his friends' reaction. When he was done, he was not feeling as well as he thought he would. He was now scared of what Monte and Tommy were thinking about him. So, he decided that he needed to be alone for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry," he said, standing up quickly and getting out of the house by the back-door.

When the door closed behind the singer, Monte and Tommy looked at each other. The bass player's eyes were full with tears.

"Oh my god…Fuck…" the blond man exclaimed. "I would never imagine that someone could do that to him. How would someone want to hurt him?" he added, wiping his eyes and sniffing.

"Yea…I know…I didn't know about all of this…It's fucking hard to hear, because it really happened to him…"

"Well…now I'm starting to understand a good part of his behaviour," Tommy said, taking the cartoon box and the empty bottles in his hands. "I hope he's going to get better now and…I hope he decides to go back to his music again…" he added, walking in the kitchen. He needed to stay busy or he would fell in tears on the floor.

Monte agreed. He missed doing music with the band. But, knowing it would take him a few days before being able to live with what Adam had told them, he had no idea how hard it could be for the singer to live with it and how long it would take before he would be able to come back to a normal life.

* * *

*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****


	16. Chapter 16

**WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

**Chapter 16**

"Maybe I should go take a look at him," suggested Tommy, worried, standing up of the couch. "It's been almost 30 minutes since he got out of the house…Maybe something is wrong…"

"Tommy, just calm down, alright!" Monte said, grabbing the bass player by the arm and pulling down to sit him back next to him. "After what he did, he probably needs to be alone for a while…"

At those words, they heard the back door being closed and footsteps. They looked behind them and saw Adam looking at them, his eyes puffy and red.

"Hey, are you ok?" Tommy asked, standing up and walking toward his friend.

"I'm surprised that you are still here," Adam said, shyly, looking at his feet. "I thought that after what I said, you both had preferred to leave…"

"Why did you think like that?" Monte asked.

"Like we would have let you alone like this…" Tommy said, shaking his head. "Come on, sit down with us…" Tommy suggested, taking Adam's arm and leading him to the couch.

"I don't know…I mean…I just…I'm sorry…" the singer said, uncomfortable. He didn't really want to stay with them, he rather preferred being alone in his bedroom, but he let his bassist leading him near Monte and sat down next to the older man. Bending over, he leaned his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"You don't have to be sorry about anything, Adam," the blond man said, sitting next to the singer and stroking his arm gently. "Nothing of what happened was your fault."

"Tommy is right, Adam," Monte assured. "And whatever those bastards did to you, it doesn't change what we think about you and how we see you."

"Really…" Adam said after a few seconds, his voice muffled by his hands.

"Of course…We love you and what you told us doesn't change anything," Tommy assured.

"We are here for you, Adam, and we are not going anywhere if you don't want us to…" Monte added, patting him gently on the back.

After about a minute, Adam raised his head, looked at them and smiled weakly.

"Thank you, guys!"

* * *

For the rest of the evening, they didn't talk about what Adam told them; Tommy and Monte knew their friend had enough for tonight. So, they just half-watched a movie while talking about funny things that they did when they were kids after the guitarist had told them about what his son did earlier during the morning. About 2 hours later, Monte left.

Adam and Tommy showered and went to the singer's bed. After they had settled for the night, the blond man thought about what happened to his friend and had so many things and questions going on in his head. He didn't know if he should ask them to Adam or if the singer was too tired to talk more about it.

"Adam, can I ask you something?" he finally asked after a few minutes.

"I was sure you had something in mind…" Adam said, rolling on his side to face the bass player. "I guess it's about what I told to you and Monte earlier…"

"Yea…do you mind?" Tommy asked carefully. He wanted to be sure that his friend was comfortable enough to talk about it again.

"Depends…But, you know almost everything so…go ahead…"

"When you began to speak earlier, you said that you rather preferred being dead," the smaller man began, turning on his side as well to face his friend. "You don't really want to be dead, do you?" he added, concerned.

"Oh Tommy…It's just…I mean…I don't know…" Adam said, turning on his back and sighing. "I'm sorry…Sometimes it's just so hard…To be honest, sometimes I'm thinking about it."

"Fuck, Adam!" Tommy exclaimed, almost angrily, sitting up suddenly and looking seriously at the singer who was still lying on his back. "I spent an entire week thinking that I would never see you again, that maybe they would find your dead body somewhere…When Miller called to tell us that they had found you and that you were alive, you have no idea how happy I was. I knew that it wouldn't be easy for you after all of this, but I just wanted to see you again and I was ready to do everything I could to help you…So, I really don't like it when you are talking like that…"

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you," Adam began, sitting up as well. He knew Tommy was right; it should have been really difficult for his family and friends to think that maybe he was dead. But, he couldn't help what he was feeling. "But, sometimes, what I feel is so painful that I don't know what to do to get through all of this, so…the thought of 'being dead would be easier' can cross my mind…Can you understand that, Tommy?"

"Yea…But I don't want to lose you, Adam…I'm maybe a bit selfish, but I rather preferred seeing you a little fucked up than not having you around at all…"

"I'm so sorry, Tommy…" the singer's voice was beginning to shake a little. "It's just…I don't know how I'm gonna be able to get through this…I mean…They destroyed my fucking life…"

As soon as he finished his sentence, Adam fell apart. He was crying and shaking. Tommy moved closer and took him in his arms.

"Shhh, Adam…It's ok…I know it's hard for you…"the bassist murmured, stroking his friend's back and hair. "They didn't destroy your life, babyboy…You are alive and you still can do everything you want."

"Nope…I'm not even able to…to get out of the house…with…without freaking out," Adam managed to say between two sobs. "I can't…can't look at myself in…in the mirror without feeling disgusted…I don't even know if…if I'll be able to…to go back on stage…It seems like…like I'm not doing better even if…if I got out of there about three weeks ago…"

"You're wrong about this…You are better…"

"No…I'm not…"

"Yes, you are, Adam. Remember when I first came here after you called me that night? You couldn't stand being touched…And now, your friends can hold you in their arms and you are not running away anymore…"

"I…I don't know…maybe you're right…"

"You should give yourself more credit you know…And stop beating yourself up! You'll get through this, Adam…And I'm here to help you, alright!"

Adam nodded in Tommy's neck and after a few minutes, he managed to calm himself. He dried his face with his hands and laid on his side. Tommy laid back as well, pulling the singer closer to him. It didn't take long before Adam fell asleep, exhausted. It was difficult for Tommy to fall asleep too; he was so worried about his friend's psychological state. About 2 hours later, he finally nodded off, stroking small circles on Adam's arm.

* * *

Even if Adam had forgotten to take his sleeping pills before going in bed, he didn't have nightmares during the night. But, in the morning, he woke up screaming Paul's name again. It was the same thing; he was calling him because he was scared and he wanted him to help him, to take care of him. Of course, he had woken up Tommy as well.

"Are you ok?" the blond man asked, sliding his fingers in the singer's hair.

"Yea…It was just this dream again…"

"You were dreaming about Paul?"

"Yes…I dreamed about him the last 4 nights…"

"I'm sorry…but, it didn't sound like you were scared of him…It sound more like you were asking for him…"

"Yea, I know…In the last few few days, he's always the good guy…"

"Don't you think that is a little bit weird?"

"Yea, but Dr. Spencer told me that I shouldn't be worried about it…My brain is dealing the best it could with what happened…"

"Wait…Dr. Spencer? Isn't she the psychologist you met at the hospital? When did you talk to her?"

"Yes, it's her. I called her yesterday."

"And…How was it? Did she help you a little?" Even if Tommy was surprised about that new information, he was happy to hear that Adam had finally decided to talk to a professional. Now, he just wanted to know if his friend was going to talk to her again.

"She's very nice actually. She's coming here next week…" Adam said, sitting up. "I'm sorry, but I need to shower…I'll be back in 5 minutes," he added, standing up. But Tommy grabbed his left wrist and pulled down, sitting Adam back next to him.

"Adam…please, wait!" the bass player began with caution. "Why do you always need to shower? I think you are taking showers about 5 or 6 times each day…" he added, hoping his friend wouldn't be upset.

"Because I'm dirty…"

"No, you're not…Why are you saying that?"

"I mean…I know I'm not really dirty, but I feel like I am…"Adam started to explain, lowering his head like he was ashamed. "I still can feel their smells on me, their hands on me…I just want to get rid of them…" Adam was surprised of how easy it was to talk about how he was feeling since Tommy knew now what had happened to him. "I just want to get my skin free of their disgusting odours, of their fucking touches…" he said, feeling tears filling his eyes again. He realized that he was crying a lot since he got out of the hospital. It was like all his pain, his fears, his anger and his sadness were getting out of him when he was crying.

"It's ok, Adam…I understand now…" Tommy assured, stroking the singer's shoulder. "Each time you need to talk about something like that, I'm here, ok?"

"Thank you, Tommy...Maybe I'll shower later finally…" Adam said, smiling lightly. He was suddenly feeling not as dirty as he thought a few minutes ago. "Are you hungry? What about pancakes?"

"Yea, really good idea! And a warm coffee!" Tommy suggested, standing up. He was glad that Adam was able to tell him how he was feeling; obviously, it was helping him get better.

* * *

After breakfast, Adam took a quick shower, got dress and joined Tommy in the music room. When he opened the door, he found the bassist sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, a guitar in his hands. It took him a few seconds to recognize the melody of 20th Century Boy, a song he hadn't heard for a while. When Tommy raised his head, he smiled, noticing that Adam was looking at him and was humming lightly.

As soon as Tommy finished the song, Adam got out of the room, hearing his cellphone vibrating on the kitchen counter. He grabbed his phone and looked at the caller ID; it was Lane. He hadn't talk to her since he left his mother's place and he was a little nervous with the idea to have a conversation with her.

"Hey Lane" he said, picking up.

"Hello, Adam…How are you, honey?" Lane asked, carefully. She didn't get any news from Adam's family and friends since 3 or 4 days, and the last ones were not really good. So, she was a bit worried about him.

"I'm doing great actually. What's up?"

"I'm happy to hear it…"she said, thinking that it was a good start. She was hoping he was good enough to not freak out with what was coming. "Adam…We need to talk…RCA…They want to see you and talk about your career and about when you think you'll be back on stage…"

"What? When?" he asked loudly, starting to pace the room nervously.

"As soon as possible…This afternoon, if you are not busy," Lane said, understanding by Adam's voice and reaction that he was really not ready for this yet.

"Fuck! I don't know…I'm sorry…I just…I don't think I'm ready to go back on stage…I didn't really think about it…I…"

"Adam, it's going to be ok, I'll be with you," she cut him off quickly. "You don't have to sing again tomorrow, but we need to have a discussion with them. We have to expose your thoughts about your career and what you want to do from now on…"

"And I guess they want us to meet them at their office!" he asked impatiently. He didn't want to go there, in a public place.

"Yea, exactly. Do you have a problem with that?"

"It's just…It's always really crowded…I don't want to be in public…I don't want to have to answer questions…"

"I'll call the security agency. You'll have bodyguards escorting you, Adam. Everything is going to be okay; they'll keep you safe."

"Do I have a choice?" he asked, despondent.

"Not really…But if you really want to end your career before having the time to think about it…"

"Fine, I'll go with you…"

"Perfect, I'll be at your place at 2pm with the security guards," Lane said. "Don't worry, Adam…Everything is going to be just fine."

"If you say so…See ya."

After Adam had hung up, he turned around and found Tommy a few feet away, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen and looking at him with a worried expression.

"What's going on?" the smaller man asked, walking toward his friend.

"RCA want to meet me and Lane this afternoon," Adam began, leaning against the counter. "We have to go to their office…Fuck…It's in the middle of the worst part of the city for the paps and fans…I don't know if I can do this…"

"Of course you can, Adam. Are you gonna have bodyguards with you?"

"Yea…Lane is taking care of them. Damn it! I'm still inside my house and I'm already freaking out just thinking about getting there…" he said, looking at his trembling hands.

"Come here," Tommy said, taking the singer by his wrists and pulling him in his arms. "Calm down babyboy…I know you can do this," he added, stroking his friend's back.

* * *

Like Lane told him, she was in front of his door at 2pm with two security guards. When Adam opened the door, she noticed that he looked very nervous. She walked closer and hugged him tight. It was the first time she was seeing him since the night he had been kidnapped.

"Are you ready?" she asked him about a minute later, letting go of him.

"Yea…" Adam said, glancing suspiciously at the two well-built men.

"Don't worry, honey, there are two more guards waiting in the car," she assured him, like she had read his mind.

Adam nodded and followed her to the car with the two men.

When they arrived in front of the building where the RCA Records office was, Adam started to panic. He knew he had to get out of the car and he was scared to do so. He had to breathe deeply to calm himself. When Lane saw that he was not feeling well, she took his hand and squeezed it tenderly, showing him that she was there and that she wouldn't let him down. When one of the bodyguards opened the door of the car, Adam took a last deep breath and got outside, looking worried around him. Like he was expecting, the street was crowded.

"This way Mr. Lambert," one of the guards said, grabbing Adam's arm gently and leading him toward the door of the building about 100 meters in front of them. The three other men were framing him to be sure no one would be able to go close to the singer and Lane was next to him.

It didn't take long before someone noticed Adam and after about a minute, he could hear his name being called from all directions.

"Oh my god, it's Adam Lambert!"

"Look over there, it's Adam Lambert!"

"Adam, how are you?"

"Hi Adam, glad to see you again!"

During the 3 minutes of walk between the car and the building's doors, Adam kept his head down. He could feel his heart beating really fast and he was afraid to lose the control of himself. When they finally got inside and were inside the elevator, Adam leaned his back and his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Lane asked, stroking his shoulder.

"Yea…I just need to calm down," Adam said, looking at his manager and smiling weakly.

"If something is wrong, I want you to tell me, okay?" the blond woman asked, kissing the singer quickly on the cheek. "Come on, we're here!" she added, when the doors of the elevator opened.

About 5 minutes later, they were sitting in a big office, with two men and two women who Adam had seen a few times in the past.

"We are glad that you accepted to come here and meet us Adam," one of the women began. "We know it's not easy for you right now, but we need to know what will happen in the near future with your career." When the singer didn't answer and kept his head down, she kept going. "We want to know when you think you'll be ready to go back to the tour. We didn't cancel the international tour yet, so we were wondering if…"

"Look, I don't want to make you lose your time," Adam began, cutting the woman off. "But, I won't do the international tour…Because I'm not going back on stage…I don't want to be a singer anymore…I'm sorry," he added, raising his head and glancing at everyone in the office.

Lane was looking back at him, shaking her head. The RCA employees were also looking at him, perplexed. They couldn't believe that the most famous artist of their records company had decided to abandon his career and they didn't have any idea how they would announce that news to the public.

* * *

*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****


	17. Chapter 17

******WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

**Chapter 17**

After Adam had announced that he wanted to quit, Lane whispered to him to wait for her outside the room. First, he looked at her, confused, but he guessed it was better if he wasn't in the room when the 4 other persons decided to bitch about his decision. So, he got out of the room and walked to the bodyguards; at least, he wasn't alone. About 30 minutes later, Lane joined them.

"What did they say? Are they really angry at me?" Adam asked when Lane was closer.

"No, they are not angry, Adam. But, I don't understand why you didn't talk to me about it," the manager said, sighing. "What am I to you, Adam?"

"Look, Lane, I'm really sorry," the singer began, feeling suddenly guilty. "I just figured this out while we were coming here, so I didn't really have the time to tell you. And don't think that I don't care about you or about what you think, because you're really important for me…"

"Ok…We'll talk more in the car," the blond woman suggested, heading to the elevator. "Come on guys, it's time to go!"

Adam followed her, keeping his head down. Lane seemed to be really upset. He knew he should have told her about what he had in mind, but he wasn't sure himself about it until he arrived in the RCA's office. When they arrived at the door of the building, they could see that the information about Adam's presence had spread quickly. There was a crowd of about 100 people, fans, paparazzi and curious waiting outside. When the singer noticed them, he started to shake and backed away from the door.

"Adam, are you ok?" Lane asked, concerned.

"I can't do that…There are just too many people…I don't want them to see me, to ask questions…"

"Adam, calm down, alright!" she said, walking closer to him and taking him in her arms. "You don't have to look at them, you don't have to talk to them. You just have to walk toward the car. The guards will be around you, everything will be fine."

After a few minutes he calmed himself and decided that he had to do it. Well, he didn't really have a choice; he knew he couldn't stay there for all eternity. So, when he felt like he was ready to go out, he nodded to Lane and the guards. Lane squeezed his hand gently, smiling at him. She went to the door and pushed it while the bodyguards took position around the singer. Adam took a deep breath and followed his manager outside, framed by the four men. As soon as Adam was outside, the people in the crowd started to scream his name and try to come closer, pushing against each other. Knowing that the situation could become out of control quickly, two guards took firmly the singer by his arms and the two other ones opened the way, walking in the front.

"Please, get out of the way!" one of the bodyguards asked loudly when 3 women and 2 men were standing in their way.

They had to push some fans out of the way because they were trying to touch Adam, to grab his clothes. When they finally arrived in the car and the doors were closed, Adam was surprised to find out that he was just shaking a little and that he had been able to control himself; he wasn't panicking.

"Adam, are you ok?" Lane asked when the driver started the car.

"Yea, I'm fine," the singer answered, smiling. "A little bit shaky, but it's ok. Don't worry!"

"I'm glad to hear it…Adam, after you had left the office earlier, I told RCA that you needed more time before being able to make your decision about your career," Lane began, hoping that the younger man wouldn't be mad at her. "No, let me finish," she added, when Adam was going to interrupt her. "You need to really think about it, Adam, and we need to have a conversation about it too. It's a really important decision and I don't think that you are in a position to make it right now. So, you have a few weeks to really think about it."

"Right…I'll think about it, but it doesn't mean that I'll change my mind," Adam said, firmly. He didn't want to talk about it right now. He turned his head to look outside and didn't say a word until the car pulled over before his front door.

* * *

When Adam entered in his house and closed the door behind him, he could hear that someone was playing guitar. He walked to his music room and found Tommy concentrating on his music. After a few seconds, the bassist raised his head and noticed that Adam was looking at him, leaning against the door frame.

"Hey, how did it go?" he asked, carefully dropping the guitar on the floor next to him.

"I panicked a little when I saw all the people in the street and when they recognised me, but it went better than I thought. And, I told RCA that I don't want to go back on stage," Adam said, heading to the kitchen.

"What! You did what!" Tommy exclaimed, following his friend.

"I told them that I decided to quit; I don't want to be a singer anymore…" the taller man announced, like it was a simple fact.

"Adam…Are you fucking crazy?" Tommy couldn't believe it; he really needed more explanations.

"What? No…I just don't want to sing anymore…" Adam explained, looking for something to eat in the fridge. "Damn it, I should have gone to the grocery store; there's nothing to eat…"

"Adam…You can't do that," the blond man said, getting closer to his friend. "You can't just quit like that. What about us? What about the band?"

"We are still going to be friends…And everyone in the band is talented enough to find another job…" the singer assured, closing the fridge and sighing.

"Adam, seriously, you can't quit…It's your dream…"

"Well, sometimes dreams can become nightmares…Look, I don't want to talk about it right now, ok!" Adam said, taking an apple from the fruit basket and biting in it. "And, I told Lane that I'm going to think more about it," he added, his mouth full. He was hoping his last sentence would satisfy Tommy enough so he would drop the subject.

"Fine…and you better change your mind." Tommy hoped that his friend didn't really think what he said because he knew that he couldn't live without music. He guessed that the problem was not about the fact that Adam didn't want to sing anymore; there was something else. And he wanted to find out what was going on in the singer mind.

* * *

During the next few days, they didn't talk about Adam's decision. But Tommy was right; the problem was not the music. The bassist was spending a lot of time in the music room playing on the guitar and the keyboard. And almost each time, Adam was showing up to listen to Tommy and to hum on the melody. Sometimes, it even happened that the taller man began to sing along with the musician. But each time Adam's eyes locked with Tommy's during these moments, the singer stopped singing and got out of the room, blushing.

Four days after the visit at the RCA's office, Adam asked Tommy if he wanted to get out of the house with him. He explained that he needed to get used to going outside, in public places. He didn't want to have panic attacks anymore and he didn't want to always be accompanied by bodyguards when he wanted to go somewhere.

The first day, they just walked around, in the neighbourhood. It was a quiet area, so they didn't see a lot of people except a few of Adam's neighbours. It went pretty well. The second day, the singer decided that he needed a bigger challenge; since he needed to buy food, they should go to the grocery store. When they arrived, the shop was crowded. It took a few minutes for Adam and a lot of encouraging words from Tommy before entering inside. And, of course, he didn't take long before someone noticed them. But, hopefully, no one passed Adam's boundaries. Some of the costumers saluted him and Tommy, a few of them asked for autographs or pictures and a lot of them just whispered their names when they got close.

When Adam and Tommy had bought what they needed, they came back to the car. The singer had been tense almost the entire time, but he was glad that he kept the control of himself. With the bass player next to him and talking to him the entire time, he was able to feel safe enough to do all the shopping and to get back to his car without having a panic attack.

"How are you feeling?" Tommy asked when Adam started the car.

"Good!" the dark haired man answered happily, driving out of the parking lot. "It went better than I thought. Maybe I'll be able to take another step in the next few days…I think I'm ready for another challenge!"

"I'm glad to hear it, because there's something I want to ask you and I think it could be you're next challenge," Tommy began, hoping Adam would accept what was coming. "Hmmm…You know, it's Isaac's birthday in two days and he called me to ask if we want to go out to party with him and the gang Friday night…"

"Going out! You mean in a bar or a club?"

"Yea…I don't know where Isaac wants to go, but he's supposed to call me back to tell me more about his plans."

"Well…I don't know…Maybe it's too much too soon," Adam said, looking at Tommy while stopping at a red light. He was worried. Just the thought of going in a club made his heart beat really fast.

"Look, think about it ok? You don't have to tell me your answer now, but I think Isaac would be very happy to see you there. And I think he would know that it wouldn't be easy for you to do it. It would be very cool to be altogether again: you, me, Isaac, Monte and Cam."

"Yea, maybe…I'll think about it and I'll tell you Friday, ok?" Adam proposed, his eyes back on the road after the light turned green.

"Cool!" Tommy was hoping that the singer would go with him at Isaac's party. But he knew that it would be a real challenge for him this time.

* * *

The day after, when Adam woke up in the morning, he was stressed; he was meeting Dr. Spencer in the afternoon. He knew he was the one who asked for it about a week ago, but now that the meeting was in a few hours, he was not sure about it anymore. He looked at the clock; it was really early. So he tried to go back to sleep. But, after 30 minutes of his turning and shifting in the bed, he woke up Tommy.

"What's going on with you?" the blond asked, his voice muffled by the pillow. "Did you have a nightmare?" he asked again when he saw worry in Adam's face.

"I'm meeting Dr. Spencer today and I think I'm not really ready to do it," the singer explained, rolling on his side to face Tommy. "I have a kind of knot in my stomach by just thinking about it…"

"But you're the one who told me that she was really nice," the bassist said, turning on his side as well and stroking his friend shoulder. "Why are you so worried?"

"I don't know…I think I'm scared of the questions she may ask me or what she'll think about me…"

"She is a professional. She will know if she's asking something that makes you uncomfortable and she will understand that you need more time. I don't think she will think something wrong about you, Adam. Remember, you did nothing wrong…They did…"

"Yea…maybe you're right…"

"Of course I am! Now, stop moving and go back to sleep," Tommy ordered playfully, closing his eyes and wrapping his arm around Adam's waist. "I need more hours of sleep!" he added, his face buried in the pillow.

Adam closed his eyes as well and tried to relax; Tommy was not the only one who needed more rest. He knew that the bassist was probably right; Dr. Spencer was a professional, she knew what she was doing. But the singer realised that maybe he was the one who didn't know what he was doing.

* * *

In the middle of the afternoon, Adam was in the living room waiting for the psychologist. He had sent someone to pick her up at the airport and since he didn't receive any call, it meant her plane was in time and she would be at the singer's house in a few minutes. Tommy had decided to leave Adam alone with Dr. Spencer, so he had left just after lunch.

Sitting on the couch, his phone in his hands, the singer was looking at his feeds on Twitter and realised that a lot of pictures had been taken when he got out of the RCA's office a few days ago. His fans were talking a lot about it and people like Perez Hilton, too. There were a lot of speculations going on about if he was going back on stage soon. There were a lot of comments about the fact that he didn't talk or look at anyone, like he didn't care about his fans anymore. That last part was painful to read, because it was not true. He cared about them but he was also scared of them. He decided that sooner or later he would have to give some explications and he wasn't looking forward to do it.

A knock at the door got him out of his thoughts. He stood up and head to the door. When he opened it, Dr. Spencer walked inside, smiling. She looked younger than Adam remembered.

"Hi Adam," she said, taking off her jacket. "How are you?"

"Hi…Dr…" the singer stammered, uncomfortable. It was awkward to be in his house with the psychologist. He was the one who proposed her to come to his place because he didn't want to go in a public place. So, inviting her to come was the easiest way to meet her. "I'm fine…How was your flight?"

"It was good…Thanks…and please, call me Anna…So, where do you want to do this?"

"Hmmm…In the living room. Do you want something to drink?"

"Yes, a glass of water, please!"

Adam nodded and walked in the kitchen. He poured cold water in two glasses and came back in the living room. Anna was walking around, looking at the pictures on the walls representing moments during Adam's first tour. The singer put the glasses on a small table and sat down in the rocking chair. Dr. Spencer sat in front of him on the couch.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" she asked, taking a pen and a notebook from her bag.

"I don't know…I'm not really good at that kind of thing…" Adam said, wondering what he wanted to share with her and what he wanted to keep for himself.

"Well, you may tell me what you did and how you felt since the last time we talked on the phone," she proposed, smiling to encourage him.

After a moment, Adam began to talk about his dreams, about the fact that he told Monte and Tommy about his kidnapping and what happened back there. He also told her about his several showers and the discussion he had about it with Tommy, and finally he told her about his meeting with RCA and his panic attacks when he was in public. Anna was a really good listener and was very good at asking the right questions, the ones which made you think a lot about yourself and your feelings.

"Adam…Did you really take the time to think about your career?" she asked after he told her about his decision to quit.

"Yea…yea of course I did…" he answered almost impatiently. He knew where it was going. She would tell him he was wrong about it, just like Lane and Tommy did.

"Well, you know Adam, I'm sure you did. But, I don't think you want to quit for the good reasons. Is it possible that you still want to sing? Is it possible that your problem is not to sing but more to sing in public? Is it possible that it is the fame and the public things that you want to quit?" She was really serious and was keeping her eyes on Adam's face. The singer was almost sure she was able to read his thoughts at this moment.

Adam was thinking about what she just suggested. Maybe she was right. Of course he wanted to sing again, singing was like breathing for him; it was a need. But, being a singer was something else. It meant interviews and public performances, and fame and crazy fans. At this thought, Adam shivered; an image of Paul crossed his mind. Suddenly, he stood up and started to pace the room. Dr. Spencer was still looking at him knowing that she had hit the right button.

"FUCK! I know that singing, being a rockstar and shit had always been my dream," he began, almost shouting to anyone in particular. "I got money, success and fame by doing what I like…But fuck, I don't want to be famous anymore…It was because of that 'fame" that Paul noticed me…It was because of what I did to become famous that this fucking bastard wanted him. It was how I was, how I looked, how I behaved on stage that made my dream become a fucking nightmare…I excited him, I aroused him, I made him think that it was exactly what I wanted…"

"Adam, wait…it wasn't your fault" Anna assured, standing up and walking toward him. But when she saw that he was really angry, she decided to keep her distance. He was upset and needed to get it out.

"Yes, it's my entire fault. I should have known better, I should have been more careful. But fuck, I never wanted this. How someone would like to be kidnapped, tortured and raped! There are probably other bastards like Paul who think that it's what I want. They are just waiting for the right moment…I can't do this anymore, it's not safe…I won't be able to get through this again. I'd rather die than live through that again…Look at me; I'm a fucking wreck! I'm not able to look at myself in the mirror and I'm not even able to get out of this house without having a panic attack…I…I can't be myself anymore, I'm not myself…I'm just so fucking scared all the time…it hurts so much…"

Adam drop on his knees on the floor and started to cry. He didn't mean to talk about all of this. Well, he didn't know that he had all these thoughts in his head. But even if thinking about it was really painful, he was feeling relief, like someone had taken off a heavy weight from his shoulders. While he was crying and shaking, he didn't notice Dr. Spencer walking closer to him. He raised his head and saw that she knelt next to him. Without thinking, he leaned toward her. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer.

"I'm sorry, Anna…I didn't mean to do that…" he said between two sobs, his face buried in her neck.

"Shhh Adam…You don't have to be sorry about anything," she began, stroking his back. "I think to get upset like that and to yell what you were keeping inside, it's exactly what you needed…Now, you have to think about what you said and try to work on that. I'm sure it's going to help you a lot to get better."

Adam nodded and was slowly able to calm himself. Yes, she was right. Now he would be easier to understand what was worrying him the most. He needed to focus on these things and try to fix them. At that moment, even if he knew that the way to get better wouldn't be easy, he was able to see the light in the dark.

* * *

*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****


	18. Chapter 18

**********WARNINGS: ****you are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults****. Angst, violence, abuse, non-con, rape. It's a dark fic, so don't read it if you don't like that kind of fic.**

**Chapter 18**

When Tommy came back at Adam's house, he found Dr. Spencer sitting in the living room, but no sign of the singer.

"Hi, I'm Tommy Joe" he said, shaking the psychologist's hand. "Hum…Where's Adam?"

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Tommy, I'm Anna Spencer" the psychologist said. "I heard so much about you! Adam is in his room. When I checked 10 minutes ago, he was sleeping. He needs to get some rest; he had a rough time this afternoon," she added, looking at him like she was studying him.

At this last sentence, Tommy became worried. He knew that Dr. Spencer was a professional, but he was wondering if something went wrong and if he should go upstairs to be sure that his friend was okay.

"Don't worry, Tommy, Adam's fine," Anna assured, like she had read his mind. "He told me that you two are really closed. He's lucky to have a friend like you, it's exactly what he needs right now; someone there, for him."

"Yea, we're really close; he's my best friend!" the bassist said, smiling. "I'll always be there for him, doesn't matter what would happen!"

"Best friend! Maybe more than that!" the psychologist proposed, looking at him, grinning. "I'm sorry Tommy, but I have to go. I think my car just arrived," she added, before he had the time to say something about what she insinuated.

Dr. Spencer shook Tommy's hand again, took her bag on the floor, near the couch and walked to the door.

"Can you just tell Adam that he can call me to make the next appointment?" she asked, opening the door. "Bye Tommy!" she added, getting out of the house and closing the door behind her.

After the psychologist had left, Tommy hurried upstairs to see for himself if Adam was really fine. He opened the door slowly and found his friend laying on his side, his back to him. The bassist walked to the other side of the bed and could see that the singer was really sleeping. Tommy sat in the chair near the bed and took a good look at Adam and noticed that he seemed relax and peaceful. After a few seconds, he started thinking about what Dr. Spencer had said about his "friendship" with Adam. With everything that happened since the singer had been found, Tommy didn't really think about his feelings he thought he had for his best friend. He knew he was very glad to spend so much time with Adam, but he also knew it was not really a good time to share his feelings with him.

After a few minutes, he decided to go cook something for dinner. So he carefully got out of the room without waking up Adam and went downstairs in the kitchen. He opened the fridge and finding the rest of meat and tomatoes sauce, he decided that spaghetti was a good idea; easy and simple. He was not really in the mood to cook a big meal.

Tommy was cutting pieces of cheese when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around and saw Adam leaning against the counter, looking at him. His hair was a mess, but he didn't seem to care, or maybe he didn't know.

"It's not fair for you, Tommy," the singer began, sitting up on the counter. "You shouldn't be the one who cooks for us, you are the guest here! I'm sorry if you think you have to do this. Even if I haven't been feeling good since the past few weeks, it doesn't mean that I can't cook or take care of the house, you know…" he continued, blushing in shame and lowering his head.

"Adam, no! I never thought that you couldn't take care of that kind of stuff," Tommy assured, walking closer to his friend. "I'm doing all of this because I want to do it. And for tonight, you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up to ask you to cook something for us; Dr. Spencer told me you had a rough day."

"What did she say?" the singer asked, giving a worried look at the blonde.

"Nothing really…Just that you said that we were both close…Why? What happened?"

"Well…I don't know if I want to talk about it…I just…I kind of fell apart in front of her…And I said things that I didn't really know I was thinking…"

"What kind of things?" Tommy wondered what Adam had in his mind to seem so worried.

"I'm sorry Tommy, but I don't want to talk about it…" the singer said, hopping down on the floor and walking to the oven. "Is it ready? I'm really hungry and it smells very good!" he added to change the subject of their conversation.

"Yea, it is," Tommy said, taking two empty plates and beginning to fill them with pasta. He was a bit disappointed that Adam didn't want to share his thoughts with him, but he knew it was his choice, not his. "Can you grab two glasses and something to drink?" he asked walking to the table and putting the plates on it.

Adam took the glasses and poured some lemonade in them. He joined Tommy and sat in front of him. They ate in silence; Adam lost in his thoughts and Tommy tried to read his friend's mind.

"Do you want to go for a walk with me?" Adam asked while they were cleaning the kitchen. "I need fresh air but I don't want to go alone…"

"Yea, a walk outside sounds pretty good actually," Tommy said enthusiastically because he really liked the idea.

They finished the cleaning and got out of the house. Even if it was not too late, it was already dark. The street was quiet, but Adam was always looking behind them to be sure no one was following them.

"You know, I thought about Isaac's birthday," the taller man began after a few minutes. "And I think I should go with you."

"Really! You're serious!" Tommy exclaimed, stopping suddenly. "Isaac's gonna be so happy man! I'm sure we'll have a good time!" he added when he saw that his friend was serious.

"Yea...and I think that if I can do it, I'll feel better about getting out in public places."

"And I'm gonna be there with you, so if something is going wrong, I'm gonna be there to encourage you!" the bass player said, starting to walk again. "Isaac called me this morning; he wants to go at the Avalon Club. I know, I know, it's a crowded place," Tommy added when he saw that Adam seemed suddenly ready to change his mind after he heard the name of the club. "But you know some members of the security staff there, I'm sure they can do something to make sure everything is fine."

Now it was Adam who stopped walking. He was looking around them, worried. He knew the Avalon very well. It was one of his favourite clubs and he knew there was always so many people partying inside and waiting in line outside. Thinking about it made him anxious. He knew he'd have to be in control as much as possible to be able to go there, to enter the club and to have fun with his friends.

"Please Adam, don't change your mind!" Tommy almost pleaded when he looked at his friend's face. He knew the singer so well that even if he was not saying anything, he knew exactly that Adam was not sure of his decision anymore. "I'm sure you can do this, I'm sure everything is going to be fine!"

"Okay, okay, I'll go," the taller man began, looking at the blonde. "But you have to promise me to stay close to me all the time and to accept to leave when I want to..." he asked seriously.

"Fine, it's a deal man!" Tommy assured, patting his friend's shoulder. "I really want you to come with me, so I'll accept all your conditions!" he added, smiling.

Adam nodded and started to walk again. They came back to the house about 30 minutes later. They watched a horror movie that Tommy had brought with him from his place. Again, like every time they were watching that kind of movie, Adam was wondering how Tommy could like that kind of thing. But, because Adam loved Tommy, he always agreed to watch it with him.

When the movie was finished, Adam took a shower and they both went to bed. It didn't take a lot of time before Tommy fell asleep, but the singer was still awake. He couldn't stop thinking about Isaac's party. He knew he had to do it, to go to that club, but he also knew he would be worried about it for the next 20 hours, the time he had before the party.

* * *

Adam was entering the club, followed by Tommy. He was not surprised to see how over crowded it was. He had seen about 50 persons waiting in line outside, hoping to be able to go inside. But being Adam Lambert had its privileges, he didn't have to wait in line, his friends either. He was looking around the club to try to find Isaac; he was supposed to already be here. After about 2 minutes, he spotted him in a corner, the other side of the dance floor.

He started to head toward him and decided to cross the dancers instead of walking around the dance floor. It didn't take time before everyone around recognized him. They started to dance toward him, touching him, closing more and more around him. Adam turned around to be sure that Tommy was near him, but got scared when he found that he was not there. Instead, he just found strangers getting closer to him. He began to panic. He had to get out there, but he didn't know which way he had to take to find Isaac; he couldn't see him anymore. He decided to find his way out by pushing at the dancers standing around him. But it didn't work; it was like there were more and more people each time he was taking someone out of his way. Suddenly, he could see that some guy who had his back to him, seemed to help him; he was pushing the dancers away from Adam. The guy grabbed the singer arm and got him off the dance floor.

"Thanks, I was kind of lost back there!" Adam said loudly enough to be heard by the other man who still had his back to him.

"You should be more careful, boy. I don't like when one of our things is been touch by too many people," the guy began angrily, turning around to face the singer. "But it's probably the kind of things you like, isn't it...slut?"

At these words, Adam looked straight at the man and recognized Patrick, one of the guys who kidnapped him a few weeks ago. The singer looked behind him to see if he could escape that way and found out that he was not in the club anymore, but in the training room of the slaves' farm.

"Stop wasting my time and get on your knees," Patrick ordered, pointing at the floor in front of him. "Or maybe you want me to punish you!" he added, showing the whip that suddenly appeared in his hand.

Adam tried to run but he found out that his feet were chained on the floor, so he was not able to go anywhere. Patrick was now grabbing his shoulders, shaking him violently.

"Please, let me go," Adam pleaded with tears starting to fill his eyes.

"Adam...ADAM!"

The singer woke up suddenly and noticed that he was in his room, with a worried Tommy on his left side. He sat up in his bed and hid his face in his hands.

"Adam, are you okay?" the bass player asked, stroking circles on his friend's back.

"Yea, I'm fine...it was just a bad dream..." the singer said, reaching for the drawer of the night stand. "I should have taken the pills before falling asleep!" he added, taking two pills from a small bottle and swallowing them without water.

"Do you want to talk about it, I mean, your nightmare?"

"Nah...there's nothing to say. I was trapped with one of them again," Adam said, laying back on the bed and rolling on his side, his back to his friend. "Good night, Tommy".

"Good night, Adam," the blonde answered, disappointed. He didn't like when his friend was shutting him out. But he couldn't do anything about it. So he rolled on his side too and tried to go back to sleep. It took him more than an hour before he was able to sleep again.

* * *

When Tommy woke up in the morning, he was surprised to not see Adam in the room. Usually, when he was taking the pills later during the night, he was always awake after him. He looked at the clock: 10:37 am. He stood up and walked to the bathroom; it was empty. He emptied his bladder, cleaned his face with a washcloth and went downstairs. When he walked in the kitchen, he found fresh coffee in the coffee pot, a plate full of pieces of fruits: orange, pineapple, watermelon. Beside the fruits, there was another plate with slices of two different kinds of cheese cover by a plastic wrap. "Hum, really good way to start a day!" he thought, grabbing a mug and pouring hot coffee in it. He took a piece of cheese and with his mug in his hand, started looking for Adam.

First, he checked in the living room, but no sign of his friend. He look in the music room and in his office; no sign of Adam either. After a few minutes, he decided to take a look in the backyard. He opened the door and found the singer, sitting near the pool, his feet in the water and his eyes closed. Tommy walked slowly near his friend and sat beside him.

"Hey, good morning!" he said, dipping his feet in the water. "How are you?"

"Hey...'morning! I'm fine...thanks" Adam answered, smiling.

"I didn't hear you when you woke up and I was surprised when I saw the food and the coffee."

"I just want to show you how grateful I am to have you here and I want to make you a little surprise this morning."

"Thanks, I appreciate, really!" Tommy said, leaning toward Adam and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

* * *

After they had stayed the rest of the morning outside, Adam went in his room to try to find something to wear for the party. He was standing in front of the mirror wearing a pair of black jeans and a tight dark blue t-shirt, the ninth outfit in 30 minutes.

"Damn it!" Adam yelled, grabbing a small lamp on the dresser and throwing in it on the floor. Sighing, he took off his shirt and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Adam, what's going on?" Tommy asked, entering the room in fury. He was worried and breathless. "I heard a loud bang...are you okay?" he asked again, looking around to find out what made that sound.

"It's nothing" the singer said, standing up and walking toward the closet.

"Nothing! Yea I can see that!" the blonde began, taking a piece of the lamp on the floor. "So why is the lamp broken?"

'It's just...I have nothing to wear for tonight..." Adam explained shamefully. "And I got pissed and threw it on the floor. Just leave it, I'll take care of it later..."

"What do you mean by 'I have nothing to wear'?" Tommy asked, getting near his friend and looking at his clothes in the closet. "You have a big walk-in full of clothes, how can you say that?"

"I have clothes...but the problem is that I have nothing to wear for tonight...I just don't want to look like a slut..."

"What! Adam! What are you talking about? I never thought that you look like a slut!"

"Oh Tommy! Stop it! You know exactly that I'm right..."

"Adam...Where is that coming from? You don't look like a slut at all!"

"That's not what everyone is thinking..." the singer said, lowering his head.

"Who said that about you?" Tommy asked, wondering why his friend had this idea in his head.

"Forget about it..." Adam said, walking further inside the closet and looking for something else to wear.

"Adam, no!" the bass player said, grabbing the singer's arm gently and forcing him to face him. "It's them, isn't it? They said you look like a slut...the guys who kidnapped you?" he added, hopping he wouldn't piss the taller man off. "Adam...you are not gonna believe what they said, are you?" he continued when his friend didn't say anything.

"I don't know...Maybe I should be more careful when I'm choosing what to wear..."

"Adam, listen to me. Your style reflects who you are, so don't change it. You're perfect, don't let them destroy more than they already did...And seriously, I never thought that you look like a slut in any of your outfits...and more than often, you just look so fucking hot!" Tommy assured, a little bit shocked by his last sentence.

Adam raised his head and looked at Tommy, surprised by his comment. When he saw that his friend looked a bit uncomfortable, he guessed he was as surprised as he was.

"Thanks!" the singer said, smiling. "So...you think I look hot?" he added, giggling.

"Shut up, okay!" Tommy said, blushing.

"Okay...but you have to help me find something to wear."

"Fine...but we have to begin now if we want to be ready for tonight..." the bassist suggested playfully, grinning.

Adam looked at him and pouted; he was in a better mood now.

* * *

A few hours later, they were in a car, heading to the club. When they arrived in front of the entrance, Adam had to take deep breaths to be able to calm himself. Like usual, there were several people waiting in line outside and it was probably worse inside.

"Everything is going to be find Adam, trust me!" Tommy assured, patting his friend shoulder.

After a few minutes, the singer decided that he was ready, so he opened the door and got out of the car, followed by the smaller man. It didn't take very long before some of the peolpe in the line recognized them and started to yell their names. Adam smiled at them and hurried inside with Tommy behind him.

When they were inside the club, they decided to look for Isaac and their other friends. A few minutes later, they found them in a corner, the other side of the dancefloor. Adam got suddenly very nervous; it was like a deja-vu. So, when Tommy started to walk to cross the dancefloor, Adam grabbed him by the arm and told him that he wanted to go around. The bassist, not aware of the singer's thoughts, just raised his shoulder and nodded.

It took about 15 minutes before they joined their friends. It was so overcrowed that it was difficult to find a way between the people, without mentioning all the fans who recognized them and wanted to chat with them...And with Adam, who was still not too sure about being there, it was really not easy. When they finally arrived, Isaac hugged Adam so hard, he was really happy to see him.

"I can't believe that you are here, man! I'm so glad you came!" the drummer said loud enough to be heard, kissing the singer on the cheeks, before letting go of him and hugging Tommy as well.

Adam was glad to see that his other friends were there too: Monte, Cam, Taylor and Brooke. They talked for a while and the singer was begining to feel more relaxed. When he heard the begining of one of his favorite songs, he couldn't resist: he had to go on the dance floor. So, he grabbed Tommy by the back of his shirt and pulled him with him toward the other dancers.

"Only for a few songs, please?" Adam pleaded, when he saw that his friend didn't seem to want to dance.

"Fine!" Tommy said, pouting. He didn't like to dance, but he knew that Adam wanted to, but he he also knew that he didn't want to be alone.

When they were in the middle of the dance floor, it seemed like everyone else had decided to dance too. They didn't know if it was because of the music, or just because they saw them and wanted to be closer to them. It didn't take long before Adam began to panic. He felt like he was trapped. There were too many people around him, talking to him, touching him: he wanted to get out of there. When he turned to face Tommy to tell him that he wanted to go, he found out that his friend was not next to him anymore.

Adam's heart started to beat really fast. He was sweating, his head was pulsing. It was just like his last dream. The more he was thinking about it, the more he was losing control of himself and the more he got scared. He wasn't able to focus anymore and he started to call for his friend.

"TOMMY! TOMMY! Where are you?"

He was looking around him and he could see only unfamiliar faces. Searching around for Tommy, his eyes noticed someone familiar not far away from him. He tried to look better, but everyone around him was moving to the music. Adam wasn't able to see the person anymore, but he was sure it was one of them; one of the guys who kidnapped him.

* * *

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	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"TOMMY, TOMMY…" Adam wanted only two things: find his friend and get out of there. At this moment, he was not only panicked, he was scared. What if Patrick and Frank had followed him and wanted to bring him back at the slave farm? Or what if they just wanted to kill him? He was lost in his thoughts when he felt hands on his shoulders, shaking him gently.

"Adam…Adam…are you okay?" a worried Tommy asked, searching for Adam's eyes.

It took a few seconds to Adam to notice the blonde standing in front of him.

"Tommy, we have to get out of here," he said, almost pleading. He was shaking and his head was starting to spin.

"Adam, what's going on?"

"Please, Tommy…get me out of here" the singer asked again before beginning to fall apart.

The bass player nodded and waved his hands over his head. It took less than 2 minutes before three big guys walked to them. In the afternoon, Tommy had called to the club and told to the manager that Adam was coming and that he might need some security. The security staff agreed to help them if something went wrong. So, Tommy grabbed Adam by his arm and let the three big guys lead the way across the other dancers and toward a room behind the bar. It was a small room, with a few chairs and a table in the middle. The walls were covered with boxes of different brands of beer. When they were inside, Tommy thanked the security staff and closed the door behind them.

"Tommy, what are we doing here?" Adam asked impatiently when the door was closed and the blonde was facing him. "I told you, we need to get out of here!"

Tommy could see that his friend was shaking and was looking scared, but he didn't know why.

"Adam, what happened? Why do you want to go so suddenly?" the bass player asked, wondering if he would get an answer.

"One of them is here...and maybe he's not alone," the singer began, pacing the room. "He had probably followed me since Miller found me."

"Adam…them? Who are 'them'? And who's he? What are you talking about?" Tommy asked, worried. Definitely, his friend was not okay.

"On the dance floor…I saw him…Patrick…I think," he explained, breathless like he'd just run a marathon. "One of the guys who kidnapped me…he's here!" he added when he saw the interrogation in Tommy's face. Adam was beginning to become more impatient because it seemed like his friend would not understand that they were in danger.

"Adam…it's impossible…"

"Yes, it is…I just saw him a few minutes ago…"

"No Adam, it's not…It's impossible because they are all in jail…or dead," Tommy explained quickly before the singer cut him off again.

"But...I…What! How do you know that?"

"Miller…he told it to Neil and your brother told me," Tommy said, beginning to realize the fact that Adam probably didn't know a lot about what happened to his captors after he had been found.

"Why did you leave me alone back there…on the dance floor?" Adam asked angrily, after a few minutes of silence, while he was looking suspiciously to his friend.

"I didn't…There were suddenly so many people around us that I got separated from you for about a minute. And when I came back to you, you were panicking," Tommy explained, beginning to understand what happened with the singer back there.

"I was so scared…I couldn't see you anymore…I was alone…I thought you had left me by myself with all the strangers around…and I saw that guy…" Adam said, sitting down on one of the chairs in the corner of the room.

"Adam…I would never do that…I swear I didn't mean to get away from you…" Tommy assured, sitting down on the chair next to his friend. "And as for that guy…he probably just looked like Patrick…"

"Yea…you are probably right…I just lost it," Adam said, lowering his head. "Tommy…can we go home, please?" he asked, almost pleading.

"Of course…let me warn the others that we are…"

"No…please…I don't want to be alone and I don't want to go back there," the singer said, grabbing Tommy's hand before he moved away.

The blonde nodded and decided to just text them instead. When he was done, he opened the door and asked the bartender to send them the security staff. About 15 minutes later, Adam and Tommy were in the car, driving back to the singer's house.

* * *

Adam was exhausted. The minute he entered his house, he went to the bathroom to take a quick shower and removed his makeup. 20 minutes later, he was already in his bed.

"Are you okay?" Tommy asked, walking inside the bedroom.

"Yea…I'm just really tired," Adam said, rolling on his back and fixing at the ceiling. "I can't stop thinking about what happened at the club. I think getting out in a public place like that was not really smart; it was too soon. I had a panic attack a few seconds after people started to surround me. I'm supposed to be used to it. But tonight, I lost control of myself again and I was sure one of them was there. I wasn't able to think straight."

"Don't be too hard on yourself; you just need more time," the bass player assured, sitting on the edge of the bed, at the singer's feet.

"I'm sorry if you wasted your night because of me and I'll call Isaac in the afternoon to apologize."

"Adam…you don't have to be sorry about that…It was not your fault and I don't think Isaac will be mad at you," Tommy said, taking off his socks. "And…I'm sorry if I pushed you to come with me…I shouldn't…"

"Don't worry about that…I'm not a child, I'm able to make my own decisions," Adam said, sitting up and reaching for his pills on the night stand. "I would like to talk with Miller…I need to know more about what happened…It's weird, but before tonight, I never thought about asking questions about what happened with Paul and the others…and I don't even know how the FBI found me…"

"Maybe you were not ready for it yet…I think it's a good idea to talk to Miller," the blonde said, standing up and walking toward the door. "I'm not really tired…I'll take a look on Twitter and read my emails. You'll probably be asleep when I'll be back."

"Ok…Good night," Adam said, laying back on the bed, after having swallowing his pills.

"G'night," Tommy added just before closing the door of the bedroom behind him.

The bassist went downstairs and decided to use Adam's computer instead of his phone to take a look on the web. First, he took a look at his emails; nothing really interesting excepted a few of his friends asking for news. After he answered some of them, he opened his Twitter page. He didn't take long before he started to see pics of him and Adam at the club. There were also several comments about those pics. Some people were saying that they were happy to see some new pics of the singer and some other were thinking that Adam didn't look really comfortable like they were used to see him. Some people seemed to be worried, some of them didn't seem to care; they got pictures of him, so it was the only thing that mattered. For Tommy, it was obvious that his friend was nervous and that was not really a good time to take pictures of him.

The blonde kept looking at his feeds and tweeted a few lines, but nothing about the pics. Just before he disconnected his account, he saw a new tweet linking to an article about Adam. The title was "What really happened to Adam Lambert?" Tommy was really curious so he decided to read it. There was a part about what agent Miller and Lane told the media; Adam had been kidnapped and was missing for about a week. But there was another part about a few speculations of what could have happened to him while he was missing and why someone would want to kidnap him. Of course, the author talked a lot about money and a bit about fame. There was also a part about homophobia and the desire of punishing the gay singer for his sins. But, at the end of the paragraph, the author speculated about the fact that maybe Adam had been kidnapped for the opposite reason; not hate, but love or lust. And he also suggested that rape could be one of the things that happened to the singer, explaining why he hadn't been seen a lot in public lately and why he was acting so different now. "Like being kidnapped was not a good reason to be scared in public!" Tommy thought, turning off the computer. He didn't want to read more; he had enough. He was beginning to feel sleepy, so he decided to go to bed. Entering the room and looking at his sleeping friend, he worried about Adam's reaction when he would see the article and the pics. Carefully, he removed the sheet and laid down next to his friend. He fell asleep facing the singer and thinking about the fact that the next day would probably be a bad day.

* * *

In the morning, the first thing Adam did when he woke up was to call agent Miller. The agent was really glad to hear from the singer and was happy to meet him as his place in the afternoon. When Tommy woke up and went in the living room about an hour later, he found that Adam was in a good mood. He was debating between the idea of telling him about the article, resulting in breaking his good mood or letting him find the article by himself. But, because he didn't know when the singer would decide to go on the web and because he didn't want him to be alone when he would read it, he decided to tell him about it. So, he got in the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and came back in the living room, where he sat on the couch next to his friend.

"Hum…Adam…I need to talk to you about something," he began, not sure of how he should tell him.

"Is it just me, or it does sound like it's not a good thing?" the singer wondered, raising his eyes from the news paper he was reading and looking at the smaller man.

"Well…yea…no…I mean…it depends of you, I guess…" Tommy said, looking at his feet.

"Okay Tommy Joe, that's enough! Just tell me, alright!" Adam demanded impatiently. "It couldn't be that terrible…"

The bassist looked at his friend and decided to just go with the flow. He took a sip of his coffee and a deep breath.

"Okay…last night, I was on Twitter and I saw a tweet about an article written about you," Tommy began, keeping his gaze on his friend.

"Well, it's not something special…. A lot of articles are written about me…"

"Yea, I know…but that one is different. It talks about your kidnapping," the blonde said, waiting for the singer reaction.

"Okay…and what is it say?" Adam asked, not sure if he really wanted to know about it anymore.

"Well…the author talked about what Miller and Lane said during the press conference…and he talked about some speculations about why you had been kidnapped and what happened to you while you were missing…"

"And what are the speculations?"

"For money of course and for…"

"No…I mean for what happened to me," Adam precised, his voice betraying his discomfort.

"Hum…well…he said that maybe you had been hurt because your kidnapper wanted to punish you because you're gay…and he also said that maybe you had been raped…" Tommy said, almost murmuring the last part like it would be easier for his friend to hear about it if it was whispered.

At the blonde's words, Adam frowned. He wasn't expecting that. He didn't like the idea of people talking about the fact that he had been raped.

"So...they know," he said, sighing and lowering his head.

"No, Adam…they don't," Tommy assured, trying to sound comforting. "They just speculated about it, no one really knows about it."

"Well…actually…It doesn't matter if they know for sure or not…Everyone will read the article and will talk about it…And of course, the day I will decide to talk to the media, they will ask me about it…"

"So it means you're thinking about being a public figure again!" the bass player asked, a bit too excited suddenly. He knew it was not really a good time to talk about it, but if Adam was thinking about talking to the media, maybe it meant that he wanted to get back on stage again. So, maybe he had changed his mind about being a singer…

Tommy came back from his thoughts when he saw the anger in his friend's face. Okay, it was really not the good time to talk about it.

"I'm sorry," he said, lowering his head. "It's just…I didn't know you were thinking about talking to the media in a near future…"

"Well, yea…I'm thinking about it," Adam confirmed, standing up suddenly. "But that's not the point here…What am I going to do now? Should I tell the truth and have thousands of people thinking I'm a victim and a few thousand of others thinking I got exactly what I wanted?"

"What are you talking about? No one is thinking that you got what you wanted…"

"Tommy…you know exactly what I mean…"

Adam was right; the smaller man knew exactly what he meant. There were so many haters out there, not only people hating on the singer, but homophobs in general who were thinking that gays were just thinking about getting laid, doesn't matter by who and how. If Adam would decide to go public again and with the way the things were going, he would have to face these haters and their prejudices.

* * *

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	20. Chapter 20

**Author's notes: I can see that there is a lot of people who are reading that fic, but only a few of the readers are leaving comment. Please, leave me a comment! THANKS!**

**Chapter ****20**

After about an hour of bitching about the article, Adam decided that he wanted to read it. Tommy thought that it was not a good idea, but the singer was so angry already that he didn't want to add a reason to upset him even more. When Adam was done reading it, he started pacing the room nervously.

"Fuck! Why do they care so much about my fucking life! They should get a life of their own and leave other people alone!" the dark haired man almost yelled to anyone in particular. "I think I need fresh air," he added, grabbing his cell phone and going out in the backyard, slamming the door behind him.

The bassist knew that his friend probably needed to be alone, so he stayed in the house.

When Adam came back inside about an hour later, Tommy was making sandwiches. He was spreading mayonnaise on a piece of bread when the singer entered the kitchen.

"How do you feel?" the blonde asked, adding lettuce, cheese and ham on the bread.

"I called Lane, she had already read the article," Adam began, grabbing two clean plates from the dishwasher. Tommy could feel the anger in the singer's voice. "She said that I don't have to worry about it right now and I don't have to do something about it right away. She proposed that I take the time to think about how I want to handle it…Yea…Right! Really easy to say!" he added, still very upset.

"But she's right, Adam," the bass player assured, letting the singer put the sandwiches on the plates while he was pouring vegetable juice in glasses. His friend looked so angry that Tommy was worried about him throwing the plates or something else on the floor.

"I don't care if she's right or not…It took me weeks before I was able to tell you what these bastards did to me and you're my best friend…" Adam said, sitting at the table and putting down the plates on the table. "I will never be able to handle strangers knowing that I was a sex slave…knowing that I'm a fucking rape victim!...gosh...it's so humiliating…" the singer added, lowering his head, ashamed.

"Adam, they don't have to know about it…because they don't know anything; they are just speculating about what happened," Tommy said, trying to comfort his friend. "I know it's probably really hard for you right now, but you don't have to feel ashamed because of what happened. Like I told you so many times before, you did nothing wrong; it's not your fault…"

"But if you are so right Tommy, maybe you can tell me why I feel like shit and why it's so difficult for me to talk about it," Adam began, with an angry and confronting tone. "And tell me, why am I so scared of what people are going to say or think about me when I talk about it?" the taller man added, waiting impatiently for the bassist's answer, even if he knew already that he didn't have any.

"I don't know, Adam," Tommy responded, uncomfortable. He didn't really know what to say. "But I know that almost all the rape victims feel guilty and ashamed of what happened to them, even if they are wrong."

"Yea, right…very helping!" the singer shouted at the smaller man, standing up suddenly. "Sorry, I'm not hungry anymore," he added, walking out of the kitchen.

"Adam! Wait!" the blonde demanded, standing up as well and following his friend. But it was too late; the dark haired man was climbing the stairs quickly and locking himself in his room without saying a word. "Really nice job, Tommy Joe!" he said to himself while going back to the kitchen.

The bassist sat down at the table and took his sandwich. He was not really hungry anymore, but he was eating just to do something. He was really disappointed by the situation; he thought Adam was doing better. He finished his meal thinking about what his friend was going to do about the article and what he was going to say to the media when the time came.

* * *

Around 3pm, Tommy was in the living room playing on one of his video games. Adam was still in his bedroom. The bassist didn't hear any sound coming from upstairs since their fight during lunch. He was wondering what his friend was doing and if he was feeling any better.

A knock at the door got him out of his thoughts. He stopped his game and walked to the door. When he opened it, he saw agent Miller standing outside, wearing a black suite.

"Hi, Tommy Joe," the agent said, as serious as usual.

"Hey, agent Miller," the younger man said, letting the agent coming inside and closing the door behind him. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Tommy asked, worried about the agent visit.

"Yes, everything is fine, don't worry. I'm here to see Adam…He called me this morning," Miller explained, walking in the living room and looking around.

"Oh…yea…" Tommy said, remembering that the singer had told him that the FBI agent was supposed to come. He became suddenly very worried. With what happened with the article, he wondered how Adam would handle the information Miller would give him. He knew himself a part of it; Neil had told him when Adam was at the hospital. So he knew that some of the information would be difficult for the singer to deal with.

"Where is he?" the agent asked.

"Who?"

"Adam!"

"Oh yea…sorry…I was lost in my thoughts…" Tommy apologized, looking at Miller who seemed to be impatient. "He's in his room. I'll go tell him that you're here. You can sit down if you want…" he added, walking toward the stairs.

When he arrived in front of Adam's room, the bass player waited and tried to detect some sounds coming from the room. But, he couldn't hear anything. So he knocked at the door and waited. After a few seconds, he didn't hear anything, so he knocked again. After about 20 seconds, he heard a faint 'come in', so he opened the door and entered in the room. He thought he would find Adam on his bed, but he wasn't there. So he looked around the room and spotted him in one of the corner of the room where he had found him curled up in a ball the first night he came in, a few weeks ago. But, today, Adam wasn't panicking; he was calm and quiet, his back leaning against the wall. Slowly, Tommy got closer and noticed a black box full with pictures and other things in front of the singer.

"What are you doing? What is all of this?" the blonde asked, kneeling next to the taller man.

"A few souvenirs from the first tour…" Adam said, keeping his gaze on a picture he had in his hands. "What do you want Tommy?"

"Hum…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to bother you or anything…" the bassist said, uncomfortable. He didn't want to annoy his friend who seemed to want to be alone. "It's just…Miller is downstairs...He's waiting for you."

"Oh fuck! I completely forgot about him…" Adam exclaimed, standing up and letting the picture he was holding fall on the floor. Tommy noticed that it was a picture of the dancers and the band with the singer in their stage costumes, probably taking before or after a concert. The Adam on the picture was smiling; he looked so happy. Looking at the photo, the bassist thought of how much he missed that Adam. He was wondering if he would be able, one day, to see him like that again.

Adam went downstairs quickly and found the FBI agent looking outside by the window.

"Agent Miller."

"Hi, Adam. How are you?" the agent asked, like he really cared.

"Good, thank you! Do you want something to eat or something to drink?"

"No, thanks."

Adam sat down on the couch and Miller in the rocking chair. It was silent for a minute until Tommy entered the living room.

"Can I join you?" the blonde asked, not sure if he should have asked. He didn't want to let Adam dealt with the coming information alone and he was interested to know more details about what happened with the monsters who hurt his friend.

"Doesn't matter," the singer said, not really interested.

The FBI agent nodded. So Tommy sat on the couch and glanced toward Adam who seemed to avoid him. "He is probably still angry," he thought.

"So Adam, what do you want to know?" Miller asked.

"Everything! I want to know how you found me, what happened to…to them…and what is happening now…I mean…if there is a trial or something…" Adam said, shifting in the couch. He was a bit uncomfortable. Even if Miller was not a stranger, he wasn't close to him either. So it was not easy for the singer to talk about the kidnapping with him. And, to add more on his stress, the agent was the one who found him at Paul's place, in Paul's bed. So it was even more humiliating for him. He hadn't thought about how he would feel in Miller's presence until now, when he was in front of him.

"Okay...So I should start with the beginning," the FBI agent began. "First of all, we found you because of Mary. Well, it was with the information's she gave us that we found the slave farm."

"Mary? Who's Mary?" Adam asked, wondering if he knew that woman.

"Your makeup artist…She was working with them," Miller informed, like it was only a detail.

"What?" the singer said, standing up suddenly. "Did you know about that?" he asked, looking at Tommy.

"Yea…" the bassist confirmed, guessing it had been a bad idea to keep that information from the singer. "She's the one who brought the envelop to the hotel…It's how they found her…" he added, not daring to look at his friend who seemed to be very angry again.

"Do you want me to continue?" Miller asked. He was discovering that no one had informed Adam about what happened while he was missing.

The singer nodded and, sighing, he sat back on the couch.

Miller kept going, talking about the different clues they found. When he talked about the agent who visited the slave farm when Adam was there, the singer stood up again. He was really upset.

"What! How could he leave me there? He saw me; I remember seeing a man coming in the training room. They were torturing me in front of him and the only thing he did was to ask to buy me! Very imaginative!" He couldn't believe that a FBI agent had left him there after he saw him being tortured.

Miller tried to explain to him why the agent did it, but the singer wasn't able to see it the same way. He was pacing the room and was almost yelling. Tommy had never seen Adam so angry. He was looking at Miller, trying to have his attention, to make him understand that maybe it was a better idea to stop this conversation for today. But the agent wasn't really paying attention to Tommy; he was more focused on the singer and was waiting for him to sit down to continue.

"Do you want me to continue?" the agent asked after a few minutes. "Or maybe you rather prefer that I leave?"

Adam stopped his pacing and looked at the agent. He was still upset, but decided that he wanted to know more. So he sat back to his place on the couch.

"Are you going to be mad each I'm going to give you new information?" Miller asked. He didn't seem to be impatient or angry at Adam. Tommy was grateful for that.

"I'll try to stay calm," the singer assured, leaning in the couch and taking a deep breath.

Miller nodded and finished talking about how they had found him. This time, Adam didn't say anything; he just listened and kept silent.

"And what happened to all of them? I mean...the people who kidnapped me and tortured me?" the singer asked after the agent finished the part of how they had found him.

"Well…everyone who was working on the farm are in jail, excepted Patrick Brown; he's dead," Miller began. "He was armed and killed by one of the agents during the operation at the farm. So we had to shoot him," he added, when he saw the interrogation in the younger man's face.

"What about the other slave?" Adam asked, curious. He knew he wasn't alone back there and he was hoping that the other young man he saw was safe.

"We found 9 other young men. One was only 16 years old. They are all safe now."

Adam felt relieved to know that they were all safe, but was surprised that there were so many of them. After a few seconds, he had another question that he needed to ask.

"What about Paul? What happened to him?" he finally demanded, almost shyly.

"He killed himself," Miller said, like it was not really important. "When we forced his door and found him in his office, he quickly took a gun behind the desk and shot himself in the head," he explained when he saw, at the singer's expression, that he needed to give more information.

Adam felt suddenly like someone had taken off a weight from his shoulders. Even he hadn't thought about what happened to his captors before; he was feeling better knowing that they couldn't hurt him anymore.

"And, what about the trial?" the singer asked again.

"The trial will be in few months, in winter I think. But since then, they are staying in prison. And with all the pieces of evidence we found at the farm, they don't have any chance of getting out of there for a few years!"

"And, what about me? I hope I won't need to testify at the courthouse or something…"

"No, don't worry about that. We have your statement, so I don't think the prosecutor will need you to be there."

After Miller had told everything he knew, he excused himself and left. He told Adam that if he needed anything else, he would just have to call him and he would be glad to help. Right after the agent was gone, the singer turned to face Tommy.

"So...did you know about all of it?" Adam asked, crossing his arms on his chest.

The blonde was surprised by the question. His friend looked calmer and he thought that he was not angry anymore. But obviously, he was still very upset.

"No, just a part of it," Tommy said, lowering his head. He knew he should have told Adam about what he learned from Neil, but he didn't have the occasion to do it.

"Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"I don't know...I think I didn't find a good moment to tell you and I forgot about it...I'm sorry," the bassist said, reaching for Adam's arm to show him that he cared even if he had made a mistake.

When the singer saw Tommy's hand close to him, he moved quickly away and walked to the kitchen. He knew his friend didn't keep the information on purpose, but he wasn't able to stop being angry, so he needed some space. He decided to make a sandwich since he didn't eat a lot for lunch; he was a bit hungry now that it was almost dinner time. He took a bottle of water, an apple and a muffin and went in his room without saying a word. Tommy didn't try to talk to him because he felt that Adam wasn't receptive, so he let him do his stuff without interfering.

* * *

Around midnight, Adam was in his bed and couldn't sleep. The fact that he was thinking about what Miller had told him wasn't helping. But being alone, without Tommy was the worst part. Since he got back home, the blond man had slept with him, in his bed each night. Now, he was alone and wasn't able to sleep because he was too stubborn. He wondered how Tommy was doing and if he was already asleep. Adam had heard him about an hour before walking in front of his door to go in the guest room.

About an hour later, Adam still couldn't sleep. He was turning in his bed, but he didn't want to take sleeping pills. He knew that was not what he needed. So he decided to get out of his bed and of his room. Carefully, he walked to the guest room, opened the door slowly and saw Tommy laying on his side, his back to him. From where he was standing, he couldn't see if his friend was asleep or awake. So, he walked closer to the bed. He grabbed the sheet and laid down under it. At the same time, Tommy turned around to look at Adam.

"Are you okay?" the bassist asked, wondering why the singer was in his room.

"No...I'm sorry Tommy," Adam said, resting his head on the pillow and rolling on his side to face the bassist. "I shouldn't be angry at you; you did nothing wrong," he added, hoping his friend would forgive him.

"It's okay, Adam, I know you're having a hard time," Tommy assured, stroking the singer's arm gently.

"No! It's not a reason to give you a bad time. I'm really sorry..."

"It's okay, don't worry about it."

"I hope you don't mind if I came here...I wasn't able to sleep," Adam wondered, hoping Tommy will want to spend the night with him again.

"Actually, I'm glad you came...I was feeling a bit lonely...It's been a while since I slept alone."

"Yea, me too...You know...when I was in my bed...I missed your presence," the singer confessed, getting closer to the blonde. He was starting to feel hot and he just wanted to feel Tommy's body next to him.

Suddenly, without warning, Tommy grabbed gently Adam's face between his hands and kissed him. Surprised, the singer tensed but quickly relaxed, kissing the bass player back. He wrapped his hands around the smaller man's waist to pull him closer and stroked his lower back. When Tommy started to caress the singer more actively, Adam pushed the blonde and moved away.

"I'm sorry," he said, sitting up and leaning his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't..."

"No...I mean...I'm not sorry for kissing you...I'm sorry for pushing you away," Adam explained, raising his head and looking at Tommy. He didn't want any misunderstanding. "I think I'm just not ready for that kind of intimacy...I'm sorry..."

"It's okay...I can wait!" the bassist said, smiling. He still couldn't believe he had kissed Adam like that, without thinking twice. But he was glad that he did it. "Come on, we both need to get some sleep," he added lying back down and pulling Adam down with him.

The singer didn't resist and cuddled as close as possible.

"I love you Tommy Joe," Adam said, closing his eyes.

"I love you too, Baby Boy," Tommy confessed too, giving a quick kiss on the singer's cheek.

They didn't say anything else. They both fell asleep, smiling.

* * *

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	21. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

During the next few weeks Adam and Tommy became very close. They didn't say that they were together but they didn't deny it either. The singer was not ready to have a real relationship with someone. He loved Tommy, he really did, but he didn't want to go further yet; he needed more time to feel more comfortable with himself first. He was glad to have the blonde around to kiss and touch him when he wanted to. He was able to touch someone else, but it was still difficult for him to be touched, even by Tommy. They had a lot of discussions about it, because Adam was feeling guilty about not being able to go further with the bassist. But the blonde was patient and he didn't want to rush anything.

Two months after the night where Adam had joined Tommy in the guest room, the singer decided that he was ready to go further in their sexual relationship. Of course, as usual, he was toping. He thought it would be easier for him than if he had preferred being the bottom. But it was not as easy as he thought. He didn't know why, but he needed to be rough, to be aggressive. It was his first time with Tommy and he wanted to be perfect. But it was very hard for him to control himself. He wanted the blonde so badly, but he didn't want to hurt him. He was really gentle in the beginning but with the increase of the pleasure, he lost it. When Tommy began to moan not from pleasure but from pain, Adam realized what he was doing and stopped. He was feeling really bad about it but he wasn't able to explain why he needed to "take" the bassist like that.

They talked about it and of course Tommy wasn't mad at him. After a few days, the singer decided to call Dr. Spencer to ask her if he was going crazy. She told him that nothing wrong was going on with him and that he probably needed more time to get back to a normal sexual life. She proposed him to talk a lot about how he felt with Tommy when he was intimate with him. That was what he did. Each time they were having sex, they communicated more than usual. It took Adam about 4 weeks to lose his need to be aggressive. But at Tommy's request, he was still able to be rough, sometimes.

* * *

About 2 months later, after several appointments with Dr. Spencer, decided to talk to the media. Because she had always been nice and respectful with him, he wanted to do it at The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Before the interview, he had called Ellen to discuss about what he agreed to talk about and what was off limits. He wanted to do it himself to make sure there was no misunderstanding. She was really glad to have the chance to be the first person to receive Adam at her show since his kidnapping. She promised him that she would respect his wishes and that she wouldn't ask him questions he didn't want to answer, too.

The interview lasted the entire hour of the show. He talked about what happened the night he was kidnapped and the events that happened before that night. He didn't say anything about what happened to him while he was missing, except the fact that his captors had hurt him. He talked about his rescue and used that moment to thank agent Miller and his team. Ellen asked him a lot of questions about the aftermath. He had told her before the show that he was okay to talk about it because for him it was important to show to other victims of crimes that even if it's really difficult, there was always a way to get through the trauma they had suffered. He used that moment to encourage them to reach for help and to hold on.

Even if he knew he would have to talk about it, some moments were more difficult for him. At three or four times, he had to take a break of a few seconds before being able to answer Ellen's question, and his eyes had filled up with tears twice during the show. Some people in the audience and even Ellen had to dry their eyes a few times too.

Ellen asked him what would happen next with his career. Adam said that he didn't know yet and that he was not ready to go back on stage now. He needed to take some time to think about what he really wanted to do. He explained that for now, his priority was to take care of himself.

The whole week after the show aired, everyone in the media was talking about Adam, what he said and if they would have the chance to see him singing again in public. There were a lot of speculations about what he kept to himself and what really happened while he was missing. He received a lot of calls to ask him to do other interviews, but he always answered that he was not interested and that there was nothing left to say. He had to change his phone number twice. The paps bothered him about it for a few weeks, when they were seeing him in public places, but, surprisingly, they abandoned about a month after the show was aired. They were still asking him different things, but it was never about the kidnapping anymore. Adam didn't know why they abandoned so quickly, a month was really a short term for paps, but he was not complaining about it. He knew his fans had sent a lot of tweets and messages to ask the paps to leave the singer alone about that subject, so maybe it helped.

* * *

About two months later, Adam learned that he was nominated for two Grammys: best pop vocal album and best male pop vocal performance. He was really happy about it and also very surprised. But even if he hadn't sung in public since the night of the kidnapping, millions of copies of his album had been sold all around the world, and his songs were always requested in radio stations.

Lane had received a lot of calls from the Grammys organization to ask her if Adam would want to perform during the ceremony. She talked with Adam a few times about it. But each time he was telling her that he didn't know if he would be ready to go on stage even for only one song and if he would be able to do it. He knew he was doing better, but the Grammys were in a few weeks; a lot of things could happen before that date. Adam told Lane to ask them to give him more time to think about it and they agreed to do so.

It took him about 3 more weeks to decide it he wanted to perform at the Grammys or not. He had talked a lot about it with Tommy and Dr. Spencer, and decided that he should do it. He missed the music, he missed singing and going on stage, but he was so scared to do it. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he wasn't able to stay home and do nothing. So he called Lane and told her that he wanted to perform, but only if he would have a lot of security. She called the Grammys organization and announced to them the good news, two weeks before the ceremony. Even if they had only a short period to change their schedule, they were very happy. They decided to keep secret Adam's performance; it would be a surprise for everyone. They told Lane that they would arrange all the security the singer would need and that he could have his own security staff, too.

* * *

Two days before the Grammys, Adam wasn't sure about his decision anymore. He wasn't getting much sleep and had some trouble eating. In a few weeks, his nightmares had calmed down; he didn't need to take his sleeping pills anymore. But two days ago, the bad dreams were back and they were always the same: he was performing at the Grammys and someone kidnapped him, hurt him or shot him.

During the rehearsals with Tommy, Monte, Isaac and Cam and even at the sound check at the Staples Center where the ceremony was being held, it was really difficult for Adam to concentrate. His friends kept encouraging him and they were very patient and understanding.

* * *

The day of the Grammys, when Adam woke up in the morning, he thought about canceling his performance. He was really tired because, like the latest nights, he didn't sleep very well. He was also very anxious. He could feel his heart beating really fast.

"Good morning!" Tommy said, waking up and giving a quick kiss on Adam's cheek. "Are you okay?" he asked, when he saw that the singer seemed to be bothered by something.

"I think I shouldn't perform tonight…I'm not ready yet."

"Hey baby boy, you are ready," the blonde assured, wrapping his arms around the dark haired man and getting closer. "You just need to relax and take deep breaths. Everything is going to be okay."

"I think I've never been so stressed in all my life," Adam began, shifting a little to rest his head on Tommy's shoulder. "And I know it's going to be worse tonight. So I won't be able to sing…"

"Of course you are going to be able to sing. You braved stressful events before and it's going to be the same thing tonight. And I'm sure you are going to be perfect!"

Even if Adam wasn't sure about it, he didn't say anything. He just closed his eyes and took the comfort Tommy gave him.

After dinner, they had to go to the Staples Center where the ceremony was being held. Adam arrived at the red carpet with Lane, framed by three body guards. Tommy knew with the circumstances that it was better if he wasn't with Adam at that moment. They were not ready to go public yet. So the blonde quickly joined Monte, Isaac and Cam inside. When the singer arrived and got out of the black SUV, there was like a brief silence. The crowd, the journalists and the paps were so surprised to see him that they needed a few seconds to know how to react. But of course, it was not quiet very long. Everyone started to call Adam's name and all the journalists wanted to have an interview with him. But the singer didn't give any interviews; he just smiled and posed briefly for a few photos. When he was finally inside, he was glad that the red carpet was over, because he was feeling really uncomfortable. But it went better than he thought.

Before the beginning of the ceremony, some people came to talk to him, to know how he was and what was going on with him. He was glad to meet some of them that he hadn't seen for a while. But he was not really in the mood to discuss about himself, so he was happy to hear that the show would begin in a few minutes.

After about 45 minutes, it was the presentation of the best male pop vocal performance category. He didn't win. But it didn't matter for him; he was too stressed because he knew his performance was coming soon. About 30 minutes later, it was the best pop vocal album category. To his big surprise, he won. When he heard his name, it took him a few seconds to realize it was real. After Lane had given him a little pat on his thigh, he stood up and walked to the stage. Everyone in the assistance stood up to applaud. He hadn't prepared any speech, too busy thinking about his performance. So he just improvised.

"Thank you…I really appreciate it," he began after he had taken a few seconds to calm himself. "I wasn't really in the picture during the last few months, so I wasn't expecting to win something tonight. I didn't prepare anything…" he confessed, taking the time to think about what he wanted to say. "I just want to thank all the people I worked with during the creation of this album. They deserve it probably more than I do because they had to endure me the last a few months…well I can say that I'm a bit stubborn…" he added, glancing toward Lane and smiling. "I also want to thank my family and my friends who are always there to support me…and of course…thanks to all my fans who are there for me, who request my songs and who gave me all their support. Thank you!" he said again, raising his Grammy in the air.

While he was walking back stage with the sounds of the applause, he could feel his heart beating really fast and his legs shaking. Getting on stage and receiving that Grammy was a challenge, but he knew the biggest challenge was coming. He didn't have the time to go back to this place; his performance was in less than 20 minutes. He was quickly joined by Tommy, Monte, Isaac and Cam who congratulated him. They knew that receiving that kind of honor after what Adam endured was an important solace to help him get better.

"Are you okay?" Tommy asked to the singer when he noticed that he didn't seem as happy as he was supposed to be after receiving a Grammy.

"Yea…It's just…I'm so stressed!" he said, raising his hand and showing to the blonde how much he was shaking.

"I'm sure you are…But I'm also certain that everything is going to be just fine!" the bassist assured, stroking Adam's arm gently.

The singer didn't say anything else, he just nodded. He saw a couch not far away and decided it would be safer to sit down right now; his legs were still trembling. While he was leaning in the couch, he took deep breaths and started to feel the same kind of excitement he was usually feeling before going on stage. "It's a good sign," Adam thought, feeling suddenly more relaxed.

About 10 minutes later, someone came to tell them to get ready to go on stage. Monte, Tommy, Isaac, Cam and Adam gave each other some encouragements and walked on the on the stage where big red curtains where keeping them hidden from the public. They took their respective places: Cam at the keyboard, Isaac behind his drums, Adam in the middle, in front of Isaac, Monte, his guitar in his hands at the singer's right side and Tommy with his bass at Adam's left side. They nodded at each other to inform that they were ready. Just before the curtains opened, Tommy winked at Adam who smiled in return; he was ready for it now.

When the audience realized it was Adam Lambert on the stage, they couldn't believe it. They knew he hadn't given any public performance since the night he had been kidnapped. So they were really surprised to see him, since no one had said anything about it. He was singing the song he was nominated for, it was a ballade. So everyone was listening carefully; it was really quiet in the Staples Center. Only Adam's voice with the music from his band could be heard, and it was amazing.

When the song was over, everyone in the audience gave to the singer a standing ovation which last a few minutes. Adam wasn't prepared for this and he was hit by the emotions of the moment. He could feel a tear running down his cheek. At this moment, he felt really great, and he knew that he still wanted to be a singer and performed in front of people. It was where he wanted to be, it was what he needed.

When he got off the stage, he took his cell phone and called Lane.

"Adam? You were amazing!" the blond woman assured, still really excited by Adam's performance. "Why are you calling me? What's going on?" she asked, wondering suddenly why he would like to talk to her.

"Lane, it's done! I finally decided what I wanted," Adam began. He was in a trance-like, still feeling the high of his performance. His heart was beating really fast and he was almost breathless. "I want to go back on stage. Call RCA, I'm ready now!" he added, excited to say it out loud.

* * *

Three months later, Adam was back on tour. It was not like the same tour he did a few months ago that he had to cancel, it was a different one. With a few new songs and with a difference ambiance, but with the same dancers and of course, the same band. Adam knew it wasn't going to be easy, he would have to face a lot of challenges and he would need a lot of help from his friends and family. But he knew it was the right decision, because the moment he walked on the stage in front of his fans at the beginning of the first show, he knew he was finally free and it was a wonderful feeling!

*****The End*****

* * *

*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****


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